I might be a lesbian
I might be a lesbian
I'm a high school girl. And I just recently broke off a three year relationship with a boy , I met him my sophomore year And asked for his number. In the beginning of the relationship.I felt like i really cared about him and could see myself having a future with Him, He was super sweet to me and I would blush whenever I was around him. but as the years went by, I started to get more annoyed by him, I started to dislike when he would touch me, I hated having sex with him. The only times I really liked it were when I was drunk and I would get mostly frustrated when he didn't know what to do. (in the beginning i did enjoy intimacy.) I got jealous and angry if he talked other girls or if he followed them on social media sites and complaining about him all the time. Because he was super overbearing And made me feel dumb at times, I felt like he was almost a chore When our relationship started to end. I broke it off because I just didn't really love him anymore.And I just hated hearing him complain if I didn't do something right. When we got into a fight, we were still in our relationship. But we stopped talking to each other for a bit and gave each other space. I hung out with my friend and got drunk with her And i kissed her, For me, it didn't feel romantic.I just felt lonely at the time and needed somebody , I wasn't interested in doing anything else with her. When I was younger, I only really had a crush on one boy. He would always make me blush and made me feel good. He was super sweet to me and I would always be excited when he would text me. We did say that we liked each other romantically , but we never ended up dating because I got so nervous to be in a relationship so young. During this time, a lot of people tried to get with me. But I always rejected them because I thought I was too young and I wanted to enjoy my time and not be tied down. I do recall being interested in three women throughout my life, I say the feeling is different when I have a "crush" on a guy i Feel small and dependent on them I never really feel equal. I get very shy. But when I have a crush on a woman, I get more nervous And feel a warm inside , less confident , but I still feel good. I've always identified as bi because I am attracted to women. But the feeling of attraction to women is so strong that i'm questioning if i'm even attracted to men. it's really hard for me right now because have a friend and i'm not sure if I like him He has a girlfriend. And I'm don't know if it's romantic attraction or I'm just happy that I have a friend. I've had a lot of dreams where i'm holding his hand or hugging him. i'm not sure if i'm just touched starved. (I dont really like physical Affection) Whenever I see him my jaw twitch is I get so nervous my stomach starts to hurt and I can't stop smiling. I have imagined the future where we're together , but i'm not sure if I like it. I just feel so angry at myself and really scared and confused. I wish I could just crawl under the covers.