u/Actual-Strike9718

I know its long but pls read and help me im having so much suicidal thoughts im even afraid of my self

I am a 20 year old student in my 3rd year majoring in finance, and my cumulative GPA is currently 1.8. It all started 2 years ago when I first enrolled in university. I had no friends and was completely isolated. Ever since COVID, I've been doing everything alone, eating, watching movies alone, celebrating my birthdays alone. I failed almost all my classes during my first year because I had zero motivation. I begged my parents to let me quit, but they insisted I keep studying.

​Starting my 2nd year and continuing into my 3rd year, things got even worse. I stopped submitting assignments, kept skipping classes, and my GPA collapsed to 1.8. Physical and mental symptoms started hitting me really hard. I experience depersonalization where I can feel my hands, but I struggle to realize if they actually belong to me or not. My eye twitches constantly, and I have such realistic dreams every single day about normal life and school that when I wake up, I genuinely can't tell if I'm awake or still dreaming. On top of that, I am losing my sense of space and surroundings, and I frequently lose track of time, days, and dates completely. Once or twice I even woke up unable to move my body.

​Because of all the overthinking, I can't sleep at night, so I stare at my phone for 8+ hours every day just to escape my own thoughts. Honestly, I have lost my will to live. I keep thinking I'm going to end up poor and homeless. I have constant suicidal thoughts and sometimes I feel like I just want to die peacefully to make all this pain stop.

​I'm thinking about dropping out and going to a new place or a new university for a fresh start, but I'm terrified that the exact same cycle will happen and im afraid of it pls help me!

Hello im 20 year old obese and im ashamed of it so im going to a gym to lose weight and get fit in 1 year or if its possible soon. And i will be going to the tomorrow need advice and is its possible can you guys tell me about diet too ( sorry for my bad english ) and I know its low effort post and agiants it's rules I have mentioned routine but i don't have one

I’m a 20yo university student in Mongolia (going into my 3rd year) and I’m just posting this because I feel like I’m completely losing my mind and I don't know what else to do.

​My social life basically died 6 years ago when COVID hit. I had just transferred high schools and we went remote, so I spent two full years without making a single friend. My old friends from middle school naturally drifted away. When we finally went back to in-person classes, I spent three whole years trying to get close to this one classmate, but eventually realized they didn't really care about me, so I just gave up. When uni started, things actually looked up for a bit. I made a small group of friends and felt hopeful. But one by one, they all ended up moving abroad. Now I'm completely alone again.

​I do everything by myself now—eating, going to the movies, just walking around. But lately, things have gotten so much worse than just being lonely. I think my brain is just shutting down.

​When I'm at home with my family, I just want to hide. I have absolutely zero desire to talk to anyone. I find myself exploding in anger and screaming over the tiniest, stupidest things, and then immediately after, I get hit with this crushing guilt. My emotions are so incredibly fragile right now that if someone even looks at me wrong or says a small thing, I feel like bursting into tears.

​On top of that, my parents are paying for my university tuition, but my grades have completely tanked. I've stopped doing my coursework altogether because this voice in my head just keeps telling me nothing matters anymore. The guilt of wasting their money is eating me alive. It literally keeps me up at night. I can't sleep because my thoughts are just racing constantly. I can't even sit still to watch a YouTube video or distract myself. My mind just spins and I just sit there wondering why I don't have a single person in my life I can talk to.

​I have zero emotional energy left. If I do try to socialize, my mind goes completely blank and words just won't come out. When I get home, I just lie in bed for hours staring at my phone with dead eyes, feeling completely empty.

​Every single day I wake up wishing I wasn't alive. I feel completely trapped. Am I severely depressed? I desperately need help, but I don't know how to pull myself out of this or what to do next. If anyone has been through this kind of emotional shutdown, please tell me how you survived. Thanks for reading.