how to stop feeling ugly all the time?
I’m 22F and honestly feel average looking at best, and a lot of the time I just feel ugly. I’m 4’11, around 100 lbs, I work out consistently, eat healthy, take care of myself, put effort into my appearance, etc., but I still can’t shake this feeling.
I think a lot of it stems from growing up with a very pretty sister. People would constantly act shocked that we were related, and I think that stayed with me more than I realized. Then I got to college and over 4 years I’ve barely ever been approached by guys in real life (maybe twice total). Meanwhile I see other girls get attention effortlessly.
What confuses me is that on dating apps I get 100+ likes, matches, dates, etc., so logically I know I can’t be completely unattractive, but in real life I feel invisible. It makes me feel like men only “kind of” want me online but never genuinely notice me in person.
I also have a friend who I love dearly, and I feel awful even admitting this, but she gets significantly more attention than me without even trying. I know attraction isn’t a competition, but after years of this it starts getting to my head. At first I thought maybe I was too shy, so I became more outgoing and social, but it still didn’t really change anything.
The worst part is I’ll sometimes do my makeup, look in the mirror, and genuinely think I look pretty, but then I go outside and feel like nobody else sees me that way. It makes me feel delusional or like I’m just “a pig with lipstick,” which I know sounds harsh, but that’s honestly how it feels sometimes.
I don’t even know what I’m asking for. I think I just want to know if anyone else has felt this way and how they stopped tying their self-worth to whether men visibly desired them in real life.
and I feel even more stupid knowing that there’s so much I have to offer I’m really smart, i work in cybersecurity and I’m a hard worker, I’ve been told I told a great personality and I’m funny yet the only thing I can’t get over is my looks and how people perceive me. I have so much to offer and the only thing I can’t get over it something I can’t even control