u/AdDecent5654

Due to my life circumstances, I have not been able to meet a lot of people and have spent my life alone and have always had very few friends for the most part.

I have a big project in 2 weeks, the biggest of my life. I have to show a bunch of art pieces in a room for a few days at my school. I've made a few posts about that subject on this sub. I don't really feel stressed for the actual work even though I'm a bit late. What stresses me the most is the idea of no one coming. Due to the circumstances I talked earlier, I don't have a lot of people to invite, dans the date is quite unfortunate as the few people I invite might not even be able to come.

Like the idea of bringing to eat and drink to people and it remaining nearly untouched for the whole evening makes me feel miserable. I feel shameful and I'm afraid of being pitied by the few who come, seeing an empty room with me waiting inside. I'm sorry for the sad post but it is truly what I feel.

I saw the list of my girlfriend (she also has her show a few days after mine) and she has dozens and dozens and dozens of people to invite, like I don't think I've known that many people in my whole life. I'm not jealous it just made me realize that that I have a particularly small list (around 10 people) for a show like that. Even other people have so much people coming !

My goal for this project was to make for the first time a project I'm proud of. Usually when there are things like that I don't invite anyone cause I usually don't feel proud about my work, but this time I really want people to see it. So the perspective of no one coming makes me feel bad.

Do you have any advice on dealing with that feeling ? Especially when it might be true ?

Due to my life circumstances, I have not been able to meet a lot of people and have spent my life alone and have always had very few friends for the most part.

I have a big project in 2 weeks, the biggest of my life. I have to show a bunch of art pieces in a room for a few days at my school. I've made a few posts about that subject on this sub. I don't really feel stressed for the actual work even though I'm a bit late. What stresses me the most is the idea of no one coming. Due to the circumstances I talked earlier, I don't have a lot of people to invite, dans the date is quite unfortunate as the few people I invite might not even be able to come.

Like the idea of bringing to eat and drink to people and it remaining nearly untouched for the whole evening makes me feel miserable. I feel shameful and I'm afraid of being pitied by the few who come, seeing an empty room with me waiting inside. I'm sorry for the sad post but it is truly what I feel.

I saw the list of my girlfriend (she also has her show a few days after mine) and she has dozens and dozens and dozens of people to invite, like I don't think I've known that many people in my whole life. I'm not jealous it just made me realize that that I have a particularly small list (around 10 people) for a show like that. Even other people have so much people coming !

My goal for this project was to make for the first time a project I'm proud of. Usually when there are things like that I don't invite anyone cause I usually don't feel proud about my work, but this time I really want people to see it. So the perspective of no one coming makes me feel bad.

So I asked the I-Ching how to deal with that feeling. It gave me 15.1.3

So I guess I need to stay humble and not too attached to the results of my work, and to experience the results of my circumstances with humility ? That's how I feel it's telling me but honestly i'm not sure. If you have other interpretations that would be cool ! Thanks !

Hello,

My girlfriend who these last weeks seemed to be putting distance between us and I felt bad about it, and decided to talk to her about it. I did a reading which gave Gua 38.4.6 in response to the question "How should I proceed concerning [her name] ?". I decided to follow and to trust the gua for the discussion.

The conversation went well. She acknowledged her avoidant attachment tendencies and communication issues, and I also noticed she struggles to identify and express her emotions. Her difficult relationship with her mother likely contributed to these patterns. It was reassuring to see her recognize these issues and say she wants to work on them, including seeing her therapist again when she can afford it (in a month or 2).

However, despite this awareness, little has changed so far. Important conversations still feel one-sided, and I continue to carry most of the emotional and communication effort. She has been a bit more present over text, which is a positive sign, but we are still far from a healthy balance. I don’t feel like she has a clear plan or enough curiosity about understanding and working on these issues yet. I’m considering sending her a Dr. K video on attachment styles, but I know from experience that change requires more than awareness and good intentions.

I have my own flaws, but I also actively work on myself through self-reflection and communication, even when conflict makes me anxious. Next year, I’ll be in China for six months for school, and I feel that if we can’t build a healthier dynamic before then, we may have to break up before I leave. Long distance would likely amplify our current issues, and I don’t want to spend such an important experience feeling anxious about my relationship. Being unable to see her and waiting for her text while being kind of ghosted would kill me. At the same time, I truly want this to work, and she has told me she wants that too. I haven't told her about this last part, she knows I'm going to leave for a while but I haven't told her that I see that moment as kind of a checkpoint fort the relationship yet.

Feeling a bit paralyzed about what to do, I asked the I Ching again. To the same question, it answered : 45.4.5. From what I understand, I am at line 3 and she is line 6, and I'm trying to close the gap between us. Line 1 and 2 are the states I have been in, and line 4 and 5 represent the actions I want/need to take to bring us together ? Now the book seems to be positive about the outcome but I am having a trouble understanding how much I should act and how much I should let her have space ?

Some help would be kindly appreciated!

Thank you !

Hello, I'm an art student and I have an extra important drawing to do in basically 1 month (13 meters length and 3 meters high). I unfortunately have no idea what to draw and plan on doing some amount of improv and just what comes to me at the moment, but 13 meters of improv can easily get boring and repetitive. Also, I want it to be personal in the way that it really would express something about myself (first really personal project ever because usually I rely on just doing what looks good and put aside my profound wants) and I had in mind Bong Joon Ho's quote "the most personal is the most creative".

So I did a reading about this, the question was "what should I do for my big drawing ?" It gave me gua 30 unchanging. Usually I have some level of insight about readings but with this one the only thing I can gather is to have clarity about my objectives ? I'm a bit lost and help would be greatly appreciated !

Have a good day !

I have a problem with my girlfriend as of now, and intend to talk to her about it in a few hours. The thing is that she wants to be in a long-term relationship with me, but she has her entire life planned already.

Her plan is to travel and work overseas during months to years and to live in a house in her country of origin (as a kind of base of operations) because her family has a house there. The thing is I had no say in any of it. Her philosophy is "I do what I want and you do what you want and there's no problem !!". So for her in her absence I could also travel around and live wherever I want.

I disagree with this philosophy, as I believe that a couple holds responsibility towards each other and actions impact one another. She says that she would technically be okay with us not seeing each other for a year and then meeting each other for like three weeks for example, which honestly is a sad way to be a couple from my perspective. We would still be in long distance relationship, it wouldn't be an open couple or something like that.

I suspect some kind of avoidant attachment on her part, she has shown some problems with her confidence and not wanting to feel like a burden, and has said in several occasions that she feels she doesn't deserve me and that I do most of the work in the relationship (which I kind of have been doing, especially around communication considering she has a hard time initiating it. I also suffer from several mental illnesses and adhd so I spend a considerable amount of time working on myself and regulating me and my emotions). So I think she kind of unconsciously ideates a relationship where being far away from me would allow her to remove herself from the burden of feeling like a burden (she told me once that if I found another girl more interesting that her to just tell her before leaving, like wtf poor girl). At the same time, the fact she's okay with seeing me like 3 weeks in a year makes me feel like she doesn't want to live with me and doesn't really value the time we spend together right now (we're in the same school so we see each other every weekend). That hurts a little. At the same time she had a hard time taking independence from her (kinda controlling) mom so I understand her wanting to protect it but I don't think being a couple with me puts in danger her independence and way of living (I think I'm a quite chill person). Like we could live in different places in the same city and I'd be okay with it.

She told me that I could see her when she's at her house in her country of origin and live there with her. I told her that if she lived somewhere else we could try to live together/next to each other in that new country, but recently she told me she doesn't want to live with someone and would feel burdened by my presence in the country. So I guess her house is off the table.

To be clear I love her and told her I want to be with her and there are lots of upside to our relationship, this issue is juste to big to be ignored.

I intend to have a conversation in a few hours with her about that but would really like if you had something to share ! Like do you have similar stories and how would you approach that conversation ? Sorry the story is a bit synthetic compared to the average story here I'll add more details if you ask ! Thanks !

I have a problem with my girlfriend as of now, and intend to talk to her about it in a few hours. The thing is that she wants to be in a long-term relationship with me, but she has her entire life planned already.

Her plan is to travel and work overseas during months to years and to live in a house in her country of origin (as a kind of base of operations) because her family has a house there. The thing is I had no say in any of it. Her philosophy is "I do what I want and you do what you want and there's no problem !!". So for her in her absence I could also travel around and live wherever I want.

I disagree with this philosophy, as I believe that a couple holds responsibility towards each other and actions impact one another. She says that she would technically be okay with us not seeing each other for a year and then meeting each other for like three weeks for example, which honestly is a sad way to be a couple from my perspective. We would still be in long distance relationship, it wouldn't be an open couple or something like that.

I suspect some kind of avoidance on her part because she has shown some problems with her confidence and not wanting to feel like a burden, and has said in several occasions that she feels she doesn't deserve me. So I think she kind of unconsciously ideates a relationship where being far away from me would allow her to remove herself from the burden of feeling like a burden. At the same time, the fact she's okay with seeing me like 3 weeks in a year makes me feel like she doesn't want to live with me and doesn't really value the time we spend together right now (we're in the same school so we see each other every weekend). That hurts a little.

She told me that I could see her when she's at her house in her country of origin and live there with her. I told her that if she lived somewhere else we could try to live together/next to each other in that new country, but recently she told me she doesn't want to live with someone and would feel burdened by my presence in the country. So I guess her house is off the table ?

I used the I Ching and found Gua 54. The question was "How do I manage the conversation with her tomorrow ?". I feel like the Gua is telling me to not act ? I'm a bit confused I'll admit.

Anyways, have a good day !