u/AdMaleficent1061

I see ao many people talk about relapse. Has anyone's s.o actually stopped and not went back?

Today has been a bad day. My brain has been spiraling. I cant quit thinking about everything. I just feel destroyed. He asked me what was wrong and I tried to say it was fine but he wouldn't stop asking. I told him I was struggling and know if I could ever really trust his word again. Now he is upset and saying I'm going to leave him...

I am 10 weeks postpartum and strugging. I worked so hard to get fit and healthy before this baby. I let myself go during pregnancy. Now I hate how I look and feel.

My husband doesnt help things. I recently found him watching a ton of porn and saving the same women over and over. I'm disgusted by him but worse by myself. He says it was just porn but it doesnt feel that way. During pregnancy we also stopped being intimate because he called it weird. Now when were intimate I just feel worse after. I was never this insecure and had this much self hate. This also isn't my first child...

Would you believe he could actually stop?

Hello, this is my first time here.

My husband and I have both always been highly sexual people. We’ve been together for 10 years, and porn has been an ongoing issue in our relationship. Early on, I didn’t really care about porn until it started affecting our sex life. We would talk about it, things would improve for a while, and then eventually the problem would come back.

About two years ago, things became more serious. He became more secretive, and we eventually ended up in counseling.

During my last pregnancy, he completely stopped having sex with me, saying it was “just weird,” even though he never had an issue with our previous two pregnancies. We eventually agreed that if we weren’t going to be having sex, he wouldn’t watch porn either because it made me extremely insecure and contributed significantly to my depression.

I’m now 8 weeks postpartum, and we restarted sexual activity around 3 weeks postpartum (please don’t judge me for that). Things were great at first, but about a week ago he started making excuses not to have sex.

Then I noticed he was Snapchatting other women. From there, I started snooping and found out he had still been watching porn and searching for specific women. It also appears he has been looking at this type of content multiple times a day.

I told him I was done. He promises he will stop and says, “It was always just porn,” even though I’ve explained more than once how much this has affected me and our relationship.

I’m concerned that this may be more compulsive than he admits, but he denies having a problem.

So I guess my questions are:

Do you believe someone can genuinely stop this behavior, or do they eventually just get better at hiding it?

If you were in my situation and decided to give the relationship another chance, what specific behaviors or changes would you need to see before believing that he had genuinely stopped and was committed to not continuing?

I’m not looking for judgment. I’m genuinely trying to figure out whether rebuilding trust is realistic in this situation.