r/Postpartum_Depression

I dont know what to do. my partner has a dog thats 10 years old, for the most part, hes amazing with the baby. disinterested really, he no longer has high activity needs, had a good feeding schedule, doesnt run away at all or even try, etc., hes great. but i literally cant even leave the house for an an hour or 2 without him peeing in the house

I know his bladder is weaker, but it's like he decides we arent coming back and just immediately pisses, even if I've just taken him out before. ive decided to stay home for a year before returning to work, and i cannot handle even the slightest smell of urine. to top it off, our very young cat is going to be neutered soon because i think he sprayed in my bedroom. he is only 1, and I know we put off fixing him for too long and this is our fault. my pregancy was a (happy) accident so it totally rerouted our entire lives. im just so overwhelmed and I cannot handle the scent and I want to go through and shampoo all the furniture and mop all the floors with an enzyme cleaner

ive tried placing puppy pads in places the dog normally pees, but he just finds somewhere else because he doesnt want us to find it. he peed in the babies room, which he has NEVER done, and i almost lost it. I did not yell at him or anything but I was so upset and I cried and I couldnt even look at him for 3 hours. I feel so guilty being upset with him. i feel so trapped not being able to leave the house at all unless my partner is home, and often when he's off work, he prefers to spend the majority of his days off in the house, spending time with me and the baby, which i love.

but I feel cooped up. I cant even make plans with people and leave. I cant go walks a lot because I struggle to control the dog while also pushing a stroller. I struggle to control him anyways, he's a great walker, he just moves quickly and doesnt realize how strong he is. ive tried babywearing and walking him but my baby doesnt really like being in there for more than 20 minutes, and wants to eat CONSTANTLY, so I can barely get anything done as is. sometimes, even if me and baby are gone for 20 minutes he pees in the house. I know dogs have no concept of time

im considering having my mom or someone watch my baby so I can deep clean the house, but he's only 2 months and ive never been away from him for more than 15 minutes. im scared to have anyone here to watch him because im so ashamed of how ive let the house get. it isnt awful by any means, but it's cluttered and we havent gotten to dishes this week. i need to deep clean the bathroom. I need to take an enzyme cleaner to the bedroom. I need to shampoo the sides of the couches to be sure. I need to mop and wipe down all of our wooden furniture just in case. my husband is great at helping with daily upkeep, but sometimes struggles with deep cleaning. he sorts starts something in one room, then another, then another, and it's just a process. he begs me to just let him clean but I WANT to do it. i need it done the way I want, I dont want to watch over his shoulder because a) its unnecessary bc hes a grown man and he does know how to clean, im just picky, and b) thats just rude and theres no reason to make him feel bad

I almost want to pay someone to come in and professionally clean my house, but since im not working, we dont really need to be spending money on stuff like that. we could swing it for sure, but we rent and i really want us to be saving for a home for ourselves, and i know im capable of doing the cleaning how I want.

how do i help the dog? how do i help myself? what do I do? im losing my mind

edit: i think im struggling with ppd and ppa too, I see a psychiatrist every 6 months and ive been medicated before this, but it's making everything so much worse.

Please delete if not allowed…

I am hoping to find a doctor or clinic that can help me manage alcohol withdrawal at home. I have been drinking, on average, 2-2.5 bottles of wine per day for the last six months as a way to deal with postpartum depression. After trying two different SSRIs and getting no where with my OB, I turned to wine and now it has become a dangerous and deadly habit. Reddit has pretty much told me that I’ll seize up and die if I don’t get medical help to detox but I am not able to go to the hospital or to a detox facility. I am terrified that I am going to die and that I will not be here for my children and I just really am hoping to find someone who is compassionate and willing to help me.

I’m located in Colorado. If anyone can make any recommendations of somewhere to go or someone to see, I would be eternally grateful. My kids are my entire world and I need to be here for them. I’m ready to be done for good but I just need a little bit of help.

TIA if you’re able to assist in any way.

36F, 185 lbs, non smoker, no rec drug use, prenatal vitamins and propranolol for high anxiety moment.

ETA: this is not an emergency and I am not in crisis mode. Just hoping to get a handle on it before it gets to that place.

I’m currently 27 weeks pregnant and I’ve noticed a side of myself that honestly scares me a little.

Before pregnancy, I was a pretty patient person. My husband and I have been together for 7 years. We’ve had arguments like any couple, but I never had urges to hit him or physically react when I was annoyed.

Since becoming pregnant, I feel like my irritability has gone through the roof. It’s not even just my husband. I find myself getting annoyed with coworkers, family members, and random strangers, much faster than I used to. I literally want to fight everyone.

The reason I’m posting is because I recently had an argument with my husband that really shocked me.
We were trying to meet up with my sister and her family to watch fireworks. They were following us in their car, it was dark, and we ended up getting separated because my husband didn’t have a clear address and wasn’t really communicating what he was doing. I was trying to coordinate with my sister on the phone while also figuring out where we were going.

The more stressed I got, the more frustrated I became because I felt like every time I asked my husband a question, he would either get defensive or answer with another question instead of just telling me the plan.
What scared me was how fast everything escalated.
I went from mildly annoyed to very angry in probably 10 minutes, and then from angry to absolutely raging in what felt like seconds.

I ended up screaming at him at the top of my lungs. I shoved his shoulder and tossed my Stanley cup into his lap. The second it happened I felt awful because that is not who I am. I apologized afterward and he accepted my apology, but I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

The thing is, when I look back, this isn’t the first time during pregnancy that I’ve noticed more aggressive impulses. I’ve caught myself having thoughts like wanting to smack someone’s arm when they’re being annoying or wanting to physically react instead of just rolling my eyes and moving on. I don’t remember ever feeling this way before pregnancy.

I’m not trying to excuse my behavior. I know what I did was wrong and I take responsibility for it.

I’m just wondering if anyone else experienced a dramatic increase in irritability, anger, or aggressive impulses during pregnancy that felt completely out of character for them.
Did it get better after delivery? Did you talk to your OB about it?

Hey everyone! I’ve been wondering about this and thought this would be the best place to ask.
For those who’ve been through the postpartum stage, what was the hardest part that you weren’t expecting? Or what ended up being way more difficult than people made it seem?
Also, if you could go back, what’s one thing you wish you’d had, known, or gotten help with that would’ve made those first weeks (or months) a little easier?
I’m not just talking about the big things—I’m also curious about the little day-to-day struggles that people don’t really mention but actually make a huge difference.
I’d love to hear your experiences. Thanks for sharing ❤️

I had an abortion in February 2026 of this year and I haven’t felt the same ever since. I was 16 weeks

Been very depressed and anxious over it. Just very upset about it and sad ..,not looking forward to anything

I feel I regret my abortion.

Is it possible that I’m having postpartum depression without having the baby.

Like the abortion triggered something in my Brain chemistry?

If so how can I heal myself and go back to my regular self ???

Our parents live within 30 minutes of us and in the 11 weeks our baby has been alive, they’ve seen her like 5 times. Every time someone comes over, I feel like it’s just us handing the baby over and having to waste energy trying to entertain people. For Fourth of July, our parents were calling us asking what we’re doing like we’re supposed to come up with the plans when we have a baby.

Oh and me and my husband got no Father’s Day or Mother’s Day gifts. We got them stuff.

Weeks 1–8 are HARD AF…Especially if you’re an overachiever...
We’re used to solving problems by working harder, sleeping less, researching more, and finding the perfect routine. But motherhood doesn’t work like that.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that you can’t control a newborn.
Your baby will cry. They’ll have gas, reflux, cluster feeding, and unpredictable days. Feeding every 2–3 hours isn’t a robot schedule. That’s the maximum. They might want to eat again in 15 minutes… or 45… or 90. That’s normal.Think about when you have to go to the bathroom. Most days it’s somewhat predictable. But sometimes, out of nowhere, you suddenly have to go. Babies are the same. Hunger doesn’t always follow a perfect schedule.

The moment things got better for me wasn’t because my baby changed. It was because I did.
I stopped trying to fix every cry and accepted that my baby is the boss.
One day you’ll think you figured it out, and the next day everything changes. That’s newborn life.
And please… ask for help.
IT IS OK TO ASK FOR HELP.
Being sleep deprived doesn’t make you a better mom. Rest makes you a better mom. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re failing.
I’m writing this as a first-time mom of an 8-week-old. There is still hard days, but there is also light at the end of the tunnel.
If you’re worrying this much, I already know you’re an amazing mom. ❤️

My mother in law just recently had a baby and I think I hate it. I have been planing all my life; with my boyfriend we planned to have a baby when we had the opportunity, but 9 months ago his mother got pregnant and I feel like this ruined everything.
She is younger than my mom (she is in her 40’s), and I understand that is an age you can still have a baby, but I feel like this situation just ruined everything I wanted. I feel like now that she has another child, when mine arrives (hopefully in 3 to 4 years at 27, my boyfriend is a year older than me) she would not care about it at all.
I always wanted to have a big happy family, hoping that my son would be loved by everyone. But now with this situation I just feel like no-one will care anymore, my son will be second place and won’t have the love of their grandparents.
I feel like I wanna die because this just hit me so hard that I went into a depressive episode that I cannot scape now.
I need some new point of view, i have tried everything and don’t know what to do.
I know this shouldn’t affect me at all, she should have not think about me when deciding to have this child, but I just feel like everything is a disaster in my head.

Is it normal for PPD/PPA to come and go throughout the months? I am 8 months postpartum. The way I’m feeling right now is very similar to how I felt 1-2 months PP, but I didn’t feel this way a month ago. It feels like I was on an upswing but have regressed for some reason.
I am feeling hopeless, have a sense of dread every night, feel like my baby would be better off with someone else, like I can’t do this.
I guess I’m just looking for reassurance that other people have felt this way. I’m already on an SSRI (have been for years) and in talk therapy. I don’t really know what else I can do other than wait it out.

I don't know what to do next. My PPD/PPA is pretty mild this time, but nothing is helping! Any advice?

For context, I had pretty severe PPD/PPA with my oldest 15 years ago. I'm honestly surprised and so happy to still be here. My meds helped a lot more last time. I'm currently just over a year postpartum this time, and been medicated since January. But it barely takes the edge off. The first antidepressant triggered my migraines but worked better than the next 3. I'm still getting angry at tiny things (like someone not putting their plate in the sink or leaving the baby gate open), and still randomly bursting into tears. I'm thankfully not a danger to myself or others. I start therapy on Monday, but unless I magically have a lot less on my plate, I don't know if it'll really help.

Again, any advice is welcome! I just want to feel like myself again. I don't like current me.

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for here, but hoping to just vent a little and see if anyone else has been in this situation. I have 3 kids ages 7, 5, and 3 months. I’ve never considered being a stay at home mom until this baby. I’ve always been in healthcare, but 3 years ago I took what I would have considered my dream job in healthcare leadership. It’s Monday through Friday in hospital from 7-4, but it’s truly 24/7. I make decent money at 100k, but it’s a lot mentally. I take a lot home with me. I have hardly been mentally present for my older 2 children and I hadn’t really noticed that until maternity leave. I feel free without the burden of having to answer calls/emails at all hours of the day and night.

My husband is super supportive in me staying home in the short term because he knows how stressful my job is, we’re financially okay (he makes around 250k), and my kids are happier with me home obviously. He has previously done most of the drop offs, pick ups, and morning routines. He works at home half the week, in office the other from 8-5, and travels for work.

Despite how terrible I make my job sound, I am conflicted. I have postpartum anxiety and the thought of sending my 3 month old to full time daycare is devastating. But I worked so hard to get to the job and am terrified of pausing my career, potentially starting over again at the bedside, and telling my staff that I adore that I won’t be coming back. I’m also scared of the loneliness that comes with staying at home. My husband and I have talked about me going back PRN or part time (12 hour shifts) in a year or so.

If you have been in a similar position, how did you know what was the right decision? It seems obvious that my family should come first, but I can’t seem to make a decision.

Side note: in therapy and on medication for my anxiety.

I have been having 2 weeks of horrible depression followed by 2 weeks of feeling ok, on a cycle, ever since the birth of my child, I’m curious if anyone else has this or experienced this.

I had my baby today. I was excited thinking I can get epidural and enjoy the process of birthing my baby. An hour after induction drip, I found out I can’t get epidural due to my (very) mild scoliosis. I felt unprepared and the whole process feels traumatising for me. Now I can’t even lay on my back without recalling the pain and I keep expecting the pain to come. I’m happy to see my baby but I feel depressed. Am i just overreacting.. I’m afraid of talking about this to people close to me bcs I don’t want to look ungrateful

I’m only a week postpartum and it’s been hard for me. I wasn’t really able to rest for the first few days because we weren’t prepared for baby to come early and my partner refused to go to the store. I would say I was up and going around buying baby stuff the first 3 days and it really put a strain on my body. I slept a total of 10 hours within those 3 days, so I started to crash and needed to sleep but I was in a lot of pain so I slept and my husband had to take care of the baby and he kept telling me how I don’t do anything for my baby. I was pumping so I still wasn’t able to rest without waking up to feed my baby. I still haven’t been able to really rest but my husband primarily changes her diapers and I honestly stay up so he can sleep at least 4-6 hours a night & I started breastfeeding to help my supply but my baby does cry cause she isn’t able to latch right away and it wakes him up and he told me I’m a shitty mom cause I let her cry and that I don’t do anything besides feed her and he’s become so mean and he calls me ungrateful for what he does for her. He tells me I’m too slow when I’m changing her diaper and he’s told me I’m big and tries to get me to wear a faja, I still weigh as much as I did before my pregnancy I just have loose skin. It’s making me feel so bad and I feel like it’s affecting my milk supply, I feel so guilty holding my baby while crying cause I read that babies are emotional sponges. He watches reels of women in front of me and I just act like I don’t see, but I feel so ashamed of myself, I don’t even know what to say or feel because he told me I wanted a baby so to deal with it.

I’m a year postpartum how do I know if I love my baby I’m constantly worrying if I do or don’t or if I do enough. I hate this feeling I’ve been worrying about it since he was born. I just want to cry

Does anyone have experience with Prospera for maternal mental health? They have a ton of positive reviews on their website, but I couldn’t find any reviews on third-party website like Google. seems sketchy.

I don’t know if this is the right place for this, but I do have PPD and I’m wondering if the experience I had at the hospital could have played a part in that or at the very least exacerbated my already existent PPD. Immediately after my son was born my husband had to leave me alone at the hospital to go take our toddler daughter to daycare. We have no family nearby who could have done this for us so we didn’t have a choice. I was alone at the hospital with this awful nurse who had zero compassion or kindness.

She was so mean and I don’t even know why. I started to cry when she handed my baby to me and she just glared at me, rolled her eyes and left the room. She never helped me get dressed (I had the epidural and was still struggling to walk), go to the bathroom and didn’t change the bedding which was soaked in blood and body fluids. I was alone like that for four hours and it just felt so wrong. I bawled my eyes out and hobbled to the bathroom and did it all myself as my son cried and I cried. Is this normal? With the birth of my daughter there were nice nurses who helped me 😭

Hi all,

New dad to a 6 day old and I am feeling it. Exhaustion, weight loss, acid reflux. I’m doing everything I can to stay afloat. I have up to 12 weeks off from work, but I’m am struggling mentally. I was fine in the labor room, but once we got to postpartum, I started going stir crazy. We were only in there 2 days and my anxiety got so high from being cooped up, it triggered a nasty spurt of GERD that finally resolved 4 days later. I’ve lost 15 pounds in a month. I have no problem with diaper changes, feedings or any of the actual dad stuff. I am just so tired and feel like I’m accomplishing nothing. I tried to take care of the yard one day and the battery died on the weed whacker. By the time it recharged, it was too late in the evening and now it’s too hot in this heatwave. The house is a mess, there’s laundry, and this newborn will not sleep more than 3 hours at a time and she is certainly not entertaining the idea of a the bassinet. I try and smooth her and put her back in, and she just wakes up under 10 mins later because she hates the bassinet. I’m not suicidal or anything, just struggling with what to do and feeling like I’m not doing enough. My wife has been great and encouraging but she is also struggling with pumping and feeding. We are seeing a lactation consultant tomorrow, but it still doesn’t solve my depression/anxiety. Not a fan of the newborn stage. Any advice appreciated on how to get some sleep or get her into her bassinet!

Ever since having my baby, it feels like every minute of the day belongs to someone else. There are days when all that's wanted is half an hour with no one needing anything, but then the guilt kicks in almost immediately.

It's weird because nothing is wrong with the baby, and there's so much love there, but sometimes the constant responsibility just feels overwhelming. Then comes the thought that maybe feeling this way makes someone a bad mom.

Did anyone else experience this? At what point did it start feeling more manageable?