r/Postpartum_Depression

Anyone else feel this right now?

I ended my parental leave early and sent baby to full time care. I don’t miss him over a 10 hour day. I don’t look at pictures. I don’t think of him at all. I sit up at night and into the morning with him, counting down the hours to 7:30 when I leave him and work.

My coworker has a 7 month old she’s trying to sleep train and said “but the cries break my heart, you know?”

I didn’t say it, but I don’t know. I hear my son cry and I feel nothing. Zero. I mechanically check the diaper, burp, attempt a feed. But sometimes I’ve just stared at him in the crib. Sometimes I’ve put in headphones and walked away to do whatever for 10 minutes.

For context, he had colic the first 10 weeks and CMPI. I guess I got use to feeling completely helpless when he screamed then?

Started appointments with perinatal therapy and getting some hormones and thyroid checked.

I have been let down and want to know what is the expectation matrix
Basically who disappointed you the most

I have taken Zoloft before, including after having my first baby, and it really helped me. I remember it making me feel more level and helping me get through my postpartum depression and anxiety. Because it helped me before, I trusted that it would help me again this time.

During my pregnancy with my second baby, I was taking Zoloft. I was on 100 mg, and for a while I felt like I was doing okay with it. But after having my baby, I started feeling more depressed and anxious again.

After having my baby, it felt like everything hit me harder. I started having really intense anxiety, panic, crying spells, feeling overwhelmed, not wanting to do anything, and feeling like I just wanted to escape from how I felt. I also started feeling disconnected from my newborn and found myself wanting to be around my first child instead. That has caused me a lot of guilt because I love my baby and don’t want to feel this way.
It made me start questioning whether my Zoloft had stopped working.

I kept wondering, How can something that helped me so much before not be enough now?

I started wondering if postpartum changed things, if my dose wasn’t high enough anymore, or if I just needed more time for the medication to work after a dose increase.

My Zoloft was adjusted, and an additional 50 mg was added, bringing me to 150 mg. I’ve been watching myself closely ever since, wondering if I’m going to start feeling better, how long it’s going to take, and whether I’m supposed to feel worse before I feel better.

I’ve also wondered whether Wellbutrin would help with the depression and lack of motivation or whether I should just give Zoloft more time or do I need 200mg?

Looking for advice on finding a therapist in Ireland (or someone willing to do video /zoom therapy)
I’m female 35
As a child I never really thrived in school I always just about passed I always felt a bit stuck and my family gp after years medicated me for depression and anxiety fast forward I now have a 3 year old and new born
I burned out a couple times during college but when my 3 year old was born I fell into a hole. Did some research while i definitely had ppd I suspected I had adhd so spent a few years getting a diagnosis. I’m unmedicated at the moment but feel myself slipping again. I’m waiting to see my adhd dr but also want to start therapy and work on adult coping mechanisms like not ignoring parking tickets remembering to pay bills and my mortgage etc
Can anyone recommend a therapist or a route to go down? I’m specifically looking for someone that deals with women, post partum and adhd.

I've never done this, (at least not since my Tumblr days), but I've run out of people to ask and things to write on chatgpt. My husband and I have been together for four years and married for one, we welcomed a baby girl last year who's turning one in a month. My husband has a child with severe autism spectrum disorder, whose mother surrendered her "desire" to keep looking after him. I have helped my husband with his son since I first met him, looking after his son, changing his diapers, and taking care of all his therapies and medical appointments. Since having my daughter, my thought process has shifted in many ways. I now do everything with my daughter in mind, keeping quiet during arguments to avoid her becoming scared, keeping her away from her stepbrother who cries and screams for the majority of the day in order to protect her peace, and above all, going above and beyond to keep our family together despite my husband's lack of efforts. We fight about everything, and my husband criticizes everything I do or say even when we just wake up in the morning. I used to look the other way and brush it off when he was rude and sarcastic, but now it has become hurtful and I have expressed this to him but he says "he was sweet to me in the beginning and I ruined it so now he has no desire or obligation to keep doing it". I realize that I have become distant and irritable since the baby as I am constantly trying to protect her peace from a house where there is nothing but stimming, screaming, and crying.I also recently started therapy for postpartum depression and anxiety. I am scared to break up my family, I already tried to leave but I regretted it immediately. I was raised by a single mom and an absent father and I think that contributed to my standards in choosing partners. I am trying to give my daughter a different life. My family does not support my marriage, my husband does not care for my family's opinions. I am alone in a city with no family or friends because of my husband's job, despite having a successful career myself. I feel like I am only happy when I spend time with my baby, but it's not her responsibility to serve as a crutch in my life. Has anyone been or is anyone currently in a similar situation?

I’m 8.5 months pregnant and I genuinely don’t know how much longer I can do this emotionally.

My boyfriend and I still live together, but at this point we basically just coexist. Every time we talk, it turns into an argument. He’s rude to me constantly and acts like he can’t stand me. Maybe I’m not completely innocent in our arguments either, and I can admit that, but I’m so tired of feeling like I’m constantly walking on eggshells around someone I’m supposed to feel safe and loved by.

And I want to be fair because he does take care of me financially. I’m not going to pretend he doesn’t. But he also holds it over my head, and it makes me feel like because he provides financially, I’m not allowed to have feelings about the way he treats me.

I know I want to leave him. That’s the crazy part. I’m not sitting here wondering whether I should stay forever. I want out. I just genuinely cannot seem to detach from him emotionally.

I feel almost obsessed with him. I obsess over his exes, who he could be talking to, whether he’s talking to other girls, what he’s doing on his phone, whether he watches porn, who he finds attractive, etc. We basically never have sex anymore, and I’m almost 9 months pregnant. I’m already overweight, pregnancy has obviously made me gain more weight, and I feel so disgusting and unwanted. The way he acts toward me makes it so much worse.

And what kills me is that I’ve never treated him that way. He’s had times where he wasn’t exactly taking care of himself or looked different, and I never suddenly looked at him like he was disgusting. I loved him anyway.

Then there’s my son.

My son is 2 and doesn’t have a relationship with his biological dad. He thinks my boyfriend is his dad. My boyfriend has never actually said he doesn’t want anything to do with my son, but it’s the way he acts toward him that hurts. He tells me I’m a bad mom and criticizes the way I parent my son, and he basically says that because of how I parent him, that’s why he isn’t into my son.

My son obviously doesn’t understand any of this. He just knows that the person he thinks is his dad is acting differently toward him. And he’s been acting out more
because of it.

And now I’m about to have another baby with this man.
I keep wondering if having this baby will finally make something switch in my brain.

Not because I think a baby will magically fix our relationship. I don’t. I actually think having another baby could make everything harder.

I just desperately want to stop caring the same way he did.

I want to wake up one day and not care who he’s texting. I don’t want to stalk his exes or compare myself to them. I don’t want to wonder who he finds attractive. I don’t want to need his attention or approval. I don’t want to feel crushed when he acts like he hates me. I don’t want to love someone this much when I know I want to leave them.

I want to be over him.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did something finally change emotionally after you had your baby, where you stopped being so attached to your partner and started caring more about yourself and your kids?

Because I know what I WANT to do. I just can’t seem to make my emotions catch up with what my brain already knows.

I'm 11 months postpartum and finally had an appointment with my doctor today because I've been struggling mentally for quite a while.

I have a history of depression, anxiety, complex PTSD, ADHD and BPD, so mental health issues aren't completely new to me, but postpartum has been particularly hard. I moved away from my family/support system and have very little support where I live now. I've become pretty isolated, overwhelmed and exhausted.

Lately I've been feeling increasingly depressed and emotionally drained. I also ruminate/obsess over things, get stuck in negative thought loops, struggle with feeling unwanted/disconnected, and sometimes feel like I just can't cope with everything. I'm not manic or psychotic and I'm not currently a danger to myself — I just don't feel like myself or like I'm functioning particularly well.
I was supposed to return to work after parental leave soon, but told my doctor I genuinely don't feel mentally ready. He agreed and has taken me completely off work until September 11 while we start treatment.

His plan is:
Trintellix (vortioxetine) 5 mg daily

Referral to a behavioural therapist with a PhD who works in his clinic

Time off work while I start treatment, then reassess

I've tried several SSRIs in the past without much success and recently had a pretty unpleasant reaction when I tried citalopram, so I'm nervous about medication. I'm also still breastfeeding, mostly for comfort/sleep, and was told I'd need to wean in order to take Trintellix, which adds another emotional layer to everything. My baby has her first cold right now, and we fly in a couple days to my home town. I don’t feel like this week is the right time to stop nursing.

For anyone who's dealt with postpartum depression/anxiety or similar mental health issues: does this sound like a reasonable treatment approach? And if you've taken Trintellix, especially after not doing well on SSRIs, what was your experience? Did medication + therapy actually help you feel like yourself again?
Not looking for medical advice or a replacement for my doctor — mostly looking for experiences from people who've been in a similar place.

That’s all.

I am a 37 year old female who had her second baby December 2024. My first child I did great - my anxiety the first 3 months postpartum was high but subsided. I’ve dealt with anxiety my whole life but this is totally different. Beyond debilitating. Obsessing about my anxiety and ruminating 24/7. I truly don’t get even a full day of relief. I have tried 3 SSRIs, I’m on an antipsychotic, Lamotrigine and have tried TMS and went through an intensive ERP program. Please tell me this eventually subsides because it sure feels like my baby just changed my brain permanently and I’m stuck in anxiety hell. Appreciate the encouragement or hearing about others who might relate.

I want to preface by saying I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I started taking Zoloft 25mg on 8/3 for postpartum anxiety and insomnia (can’t take much bc of breastfeeding). The side effects have been absolutely horrible. I’ve been crying every day all day for 4 days straight. Haven’t slept more than an hr or two a night. I can’t keep taking this medication as I have a newborn and a toddler to care for during the day. How can I stop this med without withdrawing??

Any postpartum moms have other ideas for the insomnia?

I’m incredibly desperate for sleep and this anxiety pit in my stomach to go away.

I am expecting my baby in November, and this pregnancy has become much more emotionally difficult than I ever imagined.

My parents came to Canada in June and were originally planning to stay until around my delivery and help me postpartum. Unfortunately, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She is also diabetic and has high blood pressure, and because we were being given very long wait times for scans here (around 2 months), my brother and I decided it was best for her to go back to India and get her treatment there without waiting.

So my mom had to leave, and honestly I am still trying to process everything. I had imagined having my parents here when I had my baby, and now that support is gone because my mom needs to focus on her health.

While I was still trying to wrap my head around all of this, my husband told me that he was going to call his parents to come around the time of delivery.
I don’t have a very good relationship with my in-laws. I respect them, but I don’t feel comfortable around them. Since the beginning, there have been comments and situations that have hurt me, and even though my husband says they have never said anything bad about me to him, I haven’t been able to simply forget those things.

His mom also isn’t really someone who would help me much practically, and my husband himself agrees with that. So I asked him if, instead of having both parents come immediately, he could please let me have just two months postpartum without his mom coming, and maybe his dad could come if needed.

He immediately said no. There wasn’t even much hesitation. He said his mom would also come and then started explaining how his mom was always there for him when he needed someone to listen to him, etc.

I don’t have a problem with his mom loving and supporting him. I actually think that’s a good thing. But I couldn’t help feeling hurt that when I asked for something that I thought was a very reasonable request during a vulnerable time, his first reaction wasn’t “let’s see what would make you comfortable.”

We also have a 4-year-old. My husband says his parents could stay with him while we are at the hospital, but honestly I am much more comfortable leaving my son with my cousin, whose house is about 5 minutes from the hospital, or even with his dayhome provider. Both options are people I trust completely.

One of the reasons I’m uncomfortable with my in-laws looking after him is that they all the time argue with each other and use inappropriate language around him. There has already been an incident where my son picked up a word and asked what it meant. Instead of simply telling him it was a bad word, they started explaining what it meant. My husband says it was an accident and that he stopped them from explaining further.
Maybe it really was an accident. But these things add to why I don’t feel comfortable having them around my son unsupervised.

Another thing that really got into my head is that my husband’s brother’s wife in India is also pregnant and due in December. When I said to my husband, “Could your mom maybe stay there instead?” he said she wouldn’t be any help there either, so that wasn’t an option.

And that’s when I started feeling really conflicted.
I keep thinking: I chose the family I am building with my husband. I didn’t go back to India with my parents when my mom got sick because I stayed here with my husband and child. Was I wrong? Should I have chosen my parents too?

I know that’s probably an emotional way of looking at it, but I can’t stop thinking about it.
I don’t want to keep his parents away from their grandchild. I don’t want to be disrespectful to them. I also understand that my husband loves his parents and wants them there.

But I am the one giving birth. My mom was supposed to be here and now she can’t be because she has cancer. I am already grieving the fact that she won’t be beside me during this experience.
All I asked my husband for was two months postpartum where I could feel comfortable in my own home without his mom staying with us.
He said no almost immediately.
So now my mind is not at ease, and I keep wondering if I am being selfish, unreasonable, or disrespectful.

Am I wrong for asking this? Should I be willing to compromise and have his mom come anyway, or is it reasonable to ask for some postpartum time without in-laws staying with us?

I genuinely want honest opinions, including if I’m being unfair.

Ciao a tutte! qualcuna è alle prese con il baby blues dopo la nascita del secondo figlio? io sono all’ottavo giorno post partum e ne sono dentro in pieno; ci sono passata anche con la prima figlia ma speravo che questa volta non arrivasse invece eccoci😩 fatemi sapere le vostre esperienze ☺️

I feel like a terrible mother and a terrible wife and I’m pretty sure I have ppd. My baby is 4 weeks old. She was wanted, she was planned. I love her so much, I think she’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I never want to exist on this planet without her next to me. But I also might not be cut out for this and I want to d**
Tonight she wouldn’t go to sleep, she just screamed and screamed and screamed, she was changed and checked numerous times, cluster fed, cuddled, just wide awake and screaming. And I was so tired that for an hour I kept just giving her a pacifier and praying she would settle. She did not. Finally I picked her up, cradled her in my arms, and let out a feral growl/yell and just sat there scream-crying with her. My perfect baby who I wanted so badly, and I couldn’t remain patient for her.

I’ve been so stressed, constantly sobbing, and not sleeping, and I think my milk production is slowing down or halting as a result. I have been trying so hard to make breastfeeding work, I’ve been working for weeks to get her to latch and she has been getting better, but I’ve been pumping 6-8x a day in addition to practicing with her. We have some emergency formula the hospital gave us, I may have to start supplementing with it because I’m just not making enough for her cluster feeding anymore. I’m not anti-formula by any means, I believe fed is best whole-heartedly, but I still feel like a failure because I was trying so hard.

My poor husband has to put up with me constantly crying, constantly worrying. Constantly asking him why he doesn’t love me anymore and if he’s going to leave me. I can tell he’s frustrated with me, and I feel out of my mind with anxiety and self doubt. I don’t know how to stop this, I don’t know how to be better for them both.

Hi! my baby turns 1 in a couple of weeks and I recently completely stopped breastfeeding, and honestly, it’s been a lot harder emotionally than I expected.

I had already gotten him off breastfeeding during the day and was just nursing at night. I recently stopped the nighttime feeds too, and other than him having a little trouble getting to sleep now, he’s been doing pretty well with the transition.

I’ve just been feeling really sad and depressed since stopping. I knew that breastfeeding releases hormones and endorphins, but I honestly didn’t expect to feel this way once I stopped.

Has anyone else experienced feeling depressed or really emotional after weaning? How long did it last, and what helped you get through it?

I tried therapy and it didn't feel super helpful so now I'm stuck with this feeling of absolute hopelessness. I don't think my problem is my brain chemistry. I think I'm just an awful mom who isn't used to not having to be so selfless 24/7 for years on end? And there's no fix for that other than trying to be a less garbage person? Which I'm not sure how to do?

I’m 7 weeks postpartum with my first baby, and I’m struggling with how things are working at home. I want an honest outside perspective, including if I’m doing something wrong.
My baby is still very young and I am with him most of the day while my husband is at work. I breastfeed him and handle most of his work like, settling, night care, etc. Because of this, I’ve told my husband that when he comes home, I need some time to rest and recover rather than taking on more baby care and household responsibilities.

A couple of days ago, My husband took the baby to his grandparents, they played with him, and eventually the baby became very cranky and seemed overwhelmed ( they are doing this since the baby is born.) My husband brought him back to me and asked me to feed him as he ‘thinks’ the baby is hungry. I tried everything to get him to make him sleep, feeding, rocking, walking, singing, etc. Nothing worked for a long time.
I became frustrated because I had already explained this to my husband and felt that he wasn’t listening to me. We had an argument.
Since that argument, my husband has basically stopped touching the baby and stopped talking to me. I am now doing everything myself again. I’m exhausted, and yesterday I hadn’t even eaten since the previous night.

There have also been expectations around me doing household work very soon after delivery. For example, I was expected to cook and do household work only 4 days after giving birth. I found this extremely difficult because I was still recovering from childbirth and caring for a newborn.
My MIL taunted me by comparing me with her daughter who had c section and did all the work even when doctor asked her to bed rest.

After a lot of cold fights, my MIL started cooking meals, which are not at all healthy or nutritious for a recovering woman. She says she doesn’t know what to feed a recovering woman.

I am slipping into depression. Currently talking to no one in the house and barely eating anything.

I’m genuinely looking for honest opinions, including criticism of me if you think I’m contributing to the problem.

I am 10 weeks postpartum and strugging. I worked so hard to get fit and healthy before this baby. I let myself go during pregnancy. Now I hate how I look and feel.

My husband doesnt help things. I recently found him watching a ton of porn and saving the same women over and over. I'm disgusted by him but worse by myself. He says it was just porn but it doesnt feel that way. During pregnancy we also stopped being intimate because he called it weird. Now when were intimate I just feel worse after. I was never this insecure and had this much self hate. This also isn't my first child...