Married with a baby for a year, I have never been more unhappy.
I've never done this, (at least not since my Tumblr days), but I've run out of people to ask and things to write on chatgpt. My husband and I have been together for four years and married for one, we welcomed a baby girl last year who's turning one in a month. My husband has a child with severe autism spectrum disorder, whose mother surrendered her "desire" to keep looking after him. I have helped my husband with his son since I first met him, looking after his son, changing his diapers, and taking care of all his therapies and medical appointments. Since having my daughter, my thought process has shifted in many ways. I now do everything with my daughter in mind, keeping quiet during arguments to avoid her becoming scared, keeping her away from her stepbrother who cries and screams for the majority of the day in order to protect her peace, and above all, going above and beyond to keep our family together despite my husband's lack of efforts. We fight about everything, and my husband criticizes everything I do or say even when we just wake up in the morning. I used to look the other way and brush it off when he was rude and sarcastic, but now it has become hurtful and I have expressed this to him but he says "he was sweet to me in the beginning and I ruined it so now he has no desire or obligation to keep doing it". I realize that I have become distant and irritable since the baby as I am constantly trying to protect her peace from a house where there is nothing but stimming, screaming, and crying.I also recently started therapy for postpartum depression and anxiety. I am scared to break up my family, I already tried to leave but I regretted it immediately. I was raised by a single mom and an absent father and I think that contributed to my standards in choosing partners. I am trying to give my daughter a different life. My family does not support my marriage, my husband does not care for my family's opinions. I am alone in a city with no family or friends because of my husband's job, despite having a successful career myself. I feel like I am only happy when I spend time with my baby, but it's not her responsibility to serve as a crutch in my life. Has anyone been or is anyone currently in a similar situation?