Hi all, I’ve been making jerky for several years. My Excalibur Parellexx has served me well. I plan on selling it and getting a larger capacity dehydrator. I am currently looking at the Cabelas 80L but I’m looking for anyone with real experience with the Cabelas or other larger dehydrators and any recommendations. Thanks!
I’m writing this because I’m anxious and unsure how to handle this situation with our adult (22) daughter, and I’d really appreciate perspectives from other parents who may have been through something similar.
Last year, we expected our daughter to graduate from college. She decided to change her major and told us she would finish this year instead. We were okay with that. We could afford the extra time, and we were glad she was refining her major to better fit her career path. She also had a part-time job with a company in the industry she wants to pursue, which we felt was a positive step.
Last year, she started dating a boyfriend and began spending a lot of time with him. Early this year, we started asking more questions about her graduation timeline as this was the year she would graduate. She told us she was speaking with her counselor to determine how many classes she had left.
Then in February, while she was with her boyfriend and my wife and I were out running errands, we texted her to ask how things were going with school. She replied that she had spoken with her counselor and realized she still had several semesters left. She said she decided to step away from school and take a break.
In the same message, she shared what she described as the “good news”: she had received a promotion at work. She said her boss offered her an opportunity to be officially part of the team as a designer and pattern drafter. The role sounded like an apprenticeship, with more hours and project opportunities, and a path to compete for a full-time position in the future.
The next day, I spoke with her about the plan. She seemed confident and said she had thought it through. Although it wasn’t a traditional path of finishing college and then starting a career, I tried to be open-minded and supportive.
Since then, though, we’ve noticed changes that concern us.
We rarely see her go into work anymore. She says most of her work is online, but from our perspective, she spends about 90% of her time at her boyfriend’s house. Sometimes she goes there even when he isn’t home, helping his grandmother and waiting for him to get off work. We don’t see evidence that her work hours have increased. When I ask about her job, the answers are vague. She’ll say she’s working online, then shift the conversation to a side project she’s doing with a friend, which is making small items to sell at a booth at an upcoming event. At this point, we’re honestly unsure what’s real and what’s not. We worry that she may have reduced her hours or even quit her job, but we don’t know for certain. We feel stuck.
She is an adult, and we’ve tried to provide opportunities, support, and guidance. We understand that career paths can look different today, and maybe her timeline is simply slower than what we expected. But we’re concerned that she may be drifting, prioritizing her relationship over her long-term future.
She has also talked about moving out with her boyfriend, so we worry that pushing too hard could trigger that decision before she is financially or professionally ready.
Our questions are:
How much should parents intervene once a child is an adult?
How do you balance support with accountability?
Has anyone dealt with a situation where a young adult paused school and pursued a nontraditional career path, either successfully or unsuccessfully?
At what point do you step back versus step in?
We love our daughter and want to support her, but we’re struggling to know whether patience or firmer boundaries are the right approach.