ugh the start of my luteal again around today and i was doing fine this morning, even had a pretty productive therapy session for the first time in a while. but the derealization is hitting me out of nowhere and it is so difficult to deal with it makes me so scared and it just makes me want to sleep. i hate this vicious cycle.
i just started my period yesterday, but i'm not feeling much relief. i'm curious what part of your luteal phase is the worst for most of you, and also when you start to feel better. i'm sure it varies from time to time, but i'm just curious. these past few nights i've been getting terrible sleep because i've been having terrible death anxiety. i've had a lot of existential anxiety in the past that contributes to my derealization, but these past few days i've just been feeling so hopeless and depressed when i think about my own mortality and the fact that i will just cease to exist. i think it's the unknown that scares me and not knowing what comes after life. i haven't met with my therapist in quite a bit, and after talking with a friend i'm becoming more certain i have some form of OCD with all the ruminating and intrusive thoughts i can never stop. everything just feels out of control. any advice is appreciated