r/ocdwomen

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I’ve had panic attacks since I was 4, at 40 I’m so fed up with them. Some years better than others, but it’s exhausting. It’s always the worst right before my cycle and I also have diagnosed OCD. Today, after 36 years of lying, I admitted to my a primary doctor that I struggle. She ordered me Effexor and hydroxyzine. After researching I’m leaning toward not doing the Effexor and just using hydroxyzine when needed. I just don’t know if daily use is needed for 1-5 attacks a month. Anyone take Effexor? Not take Effexor? Holistic ways that actually helped? I’m at my wits end, but I’m not looking to trade side effects here.

So, my OCD tells me everybody hates me.

So much so it makes me desperate to be liked, even though my logical thoughts say who cares?! And I know I don't but then OCD tells me I have to. It's constant noise in my head.

Just for context, diagnosed around 18 months ago probably always had it but always thought it was anxiety, or health anxiety.

I have done group therapies twice, CBT and exposure therapy and 1 on 1 therapy.

It's like the harder I try the more agitated I get.

I have some really good weeks but once something triggers me I'm back to square one.

At the moment it's because I think a few people in work don't like me, which to be honest they probably don't however I can't seem to just be able to move past it without constantly going through every interaction and criticising myself.

No body could ever be harder on me that me so you'd think other people wouldn't bother me, eh.

Will I ever have peace...

Hi everyone,

About 3 weeks ago I stopped taking Clomipramine 75mg retard/extended release after using it for around 2 years. Unfortunately, I had to stop it abruptly because my doctor said there was no other option and I couldn’t taper off.

Since then, I’ve been struggling a lot with intense anger, irritability, emotional instability, and mood swings. Small things make me extremely angry and I don’t feel like myself at all. It’s honestly pretty overwhelming.

Has anyone here gone through something similar after stopping Clomipramine or another TCA suddenly? How long did these withdrawal symptoms last for you, and did things gradually improve?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences.

Okay so basically i have ocd and it’s affecting my studies and daily life soo much i’ve had it since i was a kid, and it has taken alot of time from me like i need 30 mins to finish one small page of some biology revisions that for others will take max 7 mins and that takes alot of my time since my finals are comming up and i cant seem to finish anything i physically cant ill legit break down i also have alot of other mental problems but this one has significantly affected my life nd my future as a whole i also seem to talk to myself alot nd get distracted alot idk if thats a sign of ocd im not sure but it might have something to do with it i just need a temporary solution that will last till July but also doesn’t take like half nd hr of my time i wanto go to therapy but i dont have time nd i dont wana talk abt it with my mom since this whole mental illness thing doesn’t go well with my family i just need some help and if meds is the only way lmk i need to make it stop or else i will actually lose my mind some advice would really help thank you

(f19) I have been have intrusive thoughts about death for the past 2 months, its been annoying and scary for no reason i know it can be normal but thinking about it everyday isnt. no matter what , whenever death is mentioned I cant stop thinking about when, how, why we die or what happens after. My boyfriend has told me its because i dont believe in anything, im not religious but ive told him it wont help me because it wont stop me from dying. Its sadder when i think of my loved ones dying. I know we are born to die and we should live life to the fullest i dont needa hear that bull crap in the nicest way. But the real problem its made me more anxious about my life how i am able to die whenever, i think about dementia , now i play memory games scared of it happening to me. I am scared i have breast cancer so i am always feeling my boobs and checking the symptoms, I am scared i have a std when my boyfriend of 7 months have had protected or no sex, i have a fear of being pregnant as well and harming my body without knowing, im scared of being in the car sometimes because we might crash, my driving has stopped progressing and i have to focus harder , my boyfriend has been helping me be confident again but it all goes back to the fear of death. And i wonder if this is ocd? I remember watching a yt video and the youtuber saying how she has ocd and the signs were familiar, i hate to self diagnosed thats why im on here if its something i should worry about or if its just intrusive thoughts. I have bad anger issues at times , not crazy but just bad. can someone lmk if this is a sign of ocd?

May is Mental Health Awareness Month — and we want to use it to have the honest conversations about OCD that don't happen enough.

Whether you're dealing with intrusive thoughts, OCD-related shame or guilt, or just struggling to be kind to yourself, we're here for it. Licensed NOCD therapists are live today answering your questions in real time on r/AskAnOCDTherapist.

📅 May 14 | 4–10 PM EST / 1–7 PM PST

Drop your questions below. Nothing is off limits. 👇

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Hi guys. Less than a year ago, I (F, 28) used to post and lurk regularly on this subreddit - out of panic and because of my mental compulsions. At one point, the compulsions got so bad that my days consisted of working, lurking while working, then going home and lurking and ruminating again.

It got so bad that I stopped sleeping and eating. That was a very dark place for me. I truly believed that I was damaged and beyond repair. The ruminations started as soon as I began developing real safety and deep feelings for my then-boyfriend (and luckily, now still boyfriend). Around my birthday in October 2025, the ruminations became so intense that I couldn’t work anymore and stopped being a functional adult.

That’s when I broke up with my boyfriend. Instead of the ruminations stopping, they got even worse after two days - and I started having intrusive thoughts about ending my life. That was when I decided to take sick leave from work. I was very close to quitting my job entirely.

Although I had already been in therapy for a few months at that point, I couldn’t really feel any improvement, and my condition kept getting worse. I was constantly dissociating or experiencing derealization.

While on sick leave, I decided to visit a psychiatrist. That was when I was officially diagnosed with OCD and a depressive episode.

This is very important: this episode with ROCD ruminations wasn’t the first time it had happened. I had experienced similar ruminations with previous boyfriends who were also emotionally safe partners. I ruined a lot of relationships because of it.

After visiting the psychiatrist and being prescribed paroxetine, I managed to contact my boyfriend and decided to try again - because I had broken up with him while I wasn’t thinking rationally. Luckily, he understood me and chose to stay by my side, and he hasn’t left since.

The paroxetine started to kick in a few weeks later. Around the three-week mark, the ruminations didn’t disappear completely, but they became quieter. With intense therapy and consistently taking my medication, the ROCD ruminations faded after a month or two. The feelings of love toward my partner came back even stronger.

But around that same time, through therapy, I discovered that I was dealing with CPTSD - and that CPTSD was the main reason behind my ROCD.

Now, nine months after my depressive episode, I’m still in intensive therapy for CPTSD, and there’s still a lot to unpack and work through. But the ROCD is gone. I’ve improved in ways that once felt unimaginable, especially because back then my brain convinced me that I wasn’t capable of love and that I was beyond repair.

That was the CPTSD talking. And the ROCD was simply my brain’s way of coping with newfound safety. A traumatized body can perceive safety as danger, and that’s why my mind attacked me in the worst possible ways.

I’m not saying that CPTSD is always the cause of ROCD - but it’s more common than I realized, and it was definitely the case for me.

If you’re struggling and it’s affecting your daily life or your relationships, I strongly encourage you to see a doctor and find a good therapist. There is light at the end of this, even if you can’t see it right now.

I hope my story helped you a little bit. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask me.

i’m 19 and i got diagnosed with mild ocd about two months ago. it took me a few weeks to process it but now it makes so much sense. i’ve been in and out of therapy inconsistently since starting my new job so i haven’t really had time to start on any coping skills and google doesn’t give me good answers.

i’m currently spiraling because ive convinced myself im going to get fired from my job. i’m not 100% sure where this idea came from, i was perfectly confident for the first month or so i worked here but i made a mistake and ive convinced myself that im doing a horrible job. i’m a waitress at a small local business, for context. and ive never been a waitress before this, so i doubt myself on everything.

i think ive triggered it even more because im stressed about money right now as i am planing a vacation to go see my partner who lives many states away.

does anyone have any advice on how to get out of this spiral? i’ve tried reminding myself that it’s just ocd and ive done nothing horribly wrong, just little mistakes that everyone makes sometimes. i’m not really sure what to do since my diagnosis is so new and i haven’t learned any skills specific to ocd.

Hey ladies, do any of you feel obsessed with the idea of getting pregnant? Bcs I'm losing my mind over here.

Not sure if this counts as a "crisis" now that it seems to be over but...

Last evening and night, I felt like I had constant OCD thinking and intrusive thoughts every minute or every second. I couldn't shake them. I felt extremely agitated.

I hadn't slept well, or at all, the past three days prior to this "episode" (or whatever you call it).

Frankly, I didn't get much sleep last night either (maybe five to six hours).

I woke up two hours ago or just about, I think.

I tried to sleep early.

Anyway, I was constantly "checking" (or whatever you call it) things. I kept adjusting myself in my bed, turning into slightly different positions each time.

I was obsessed with the astigmatism on my left eye; it kept bothering me more than usual.

I don't know how to get rid of my astigmatism lol

I would repeat certain phrases in my head, sometimes to see if I could satisfy my OCD enough or end it for good at that time.

I kept adjusting my glasses prior to bed.

I kept swallowing my saliva.

It seemed that literally everything was bothering me or agitating me.

I kept checking the time.

I was also very nervous or anxious throughout this particular time for whatever reason.

I don't know what triggered this tangent or "OCD episode."

I felt physically sick from all of this, to be honest. I feel physically sick now, especially since I had thick instant coffee already (which made me want to throw up and I still feel it like a pit in my stomach right now). Frankly, I wouldn't care if I threw up right now (and I hate throwing up). I feel sweaty. I feel anxious or nervous right now.

I don't think I feel as bad as I did yesterday but I still feel pretty bad right now.

I think I would cry if I still could.

I just feel bad.

Everything feels surreal.

I don't think I have ever felt my OCD like this before. I don't feel calm at all. I wish I could be calm.

I don't know how to describe what I felt yesterday.

I don't know how to describe what I feel right now.

I don't know what to do.

I take Vyvanse (40 mg, down from 60 mg since three weeks ago, I think) and Prozac (20 mg right now and I have taken it for exactly 35 days now). This is also the first time I have taken Prozac ever.

Before taking the Prozac 35 days ago, I wasn't on any antidepressant or SSRI and suffered as a result.

Also, I weaned down the Latuda / Lurasidone for 27 days and then stopped taking it completely for 10 days so far now.

Additionally, since December, I have been off Lexapro (which caused withdrawal). Then, I was off Abilify sometime in February (which also caused withdrawal), then off Trintellix in March (which caused withdrawal), and now completely off the Latuda in very late April (which means I may still be feeling the effects of withdrawal from the Latuda right now).

Anyway, not sure what caused this, but the last five months since December of 2025 have been really stressful to me.

I don't know what to tell my psychiatrist today (I have an appointment at around 11:00 AM EST).

I also have a therapy session in the afternoon.

I feel so bad. You have no idea how bad I feel.

I don't know what to do.

I need support and advice for this crisis I'm in.

Edit:

Also, not sure if this will be helpful but:

I have:

ADHD

OCD

BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

C-PTSD

Autism

It may be anhedonia on my part but I am not sure.

Some time ago, I put even hobbies (reading books, playing video games, etc.) on my to-do lists. I did this to easily keep track of what I was or am doing that day. So, for example, if I wanted to finish a game to completion, that's how I would do it.

The problem is that I feel like they're all chores now.

I'm not good at time-blocking either, at least, not right now. So I basically do everything whenever I get the energy or motivation or whatever to finally do them. Not for all things, but certainly for a lot of things unless it's work-related.

Do I need better ADHD medication? I take Vyvanse (40 mg) and Prozac (20 mg) (I started this for the first time 32 days ago).

I have Autism, OCD, ADHD, maybe Borderline Personality Disorder, and C-PTSD.

Not sure if knowing that will help but there you go.

I think or feel that I can definitely rectify this issue but I'm not currently sure how to go about it.

What coping skills or strategies can I use?

What should I start? What should I stop?

I suppose it's time to either scale back the check-listing or throw it out completely.

I use the Finch, by the way (basically a to-do virtual list).

I have depression, I think, and maybe burnout; the last five months have been stressful.

Lately, though, I feel a bit hopeful as they seem to be behind me now in certain ways (and there are some things coming up to look forward to).

I guess how do I find fun or joy or pleasure or excitement again?

Okay, that last question is too broad, but how can I keep track of things without check-listing?

What are alternatives to a to-do list?

Idk, just need some advice, I guess. Any suggestions or recommendations at this point are welcome.