Married 20 Years and jealous of Husband’s HS girlfriend
Hi, I’m new to this platform but don’t know where else to vent. I’ve been married to my sweet husband for 20 years. We have three kids together, and things have been great. Fast forward to Covid in 2020, having too much time on my hands, and after social media research, I found his high school gf’s FB page. I was never curious about her before. When I found her page, I was instantly triggered, and here’s why:
When we were dating, he said to me: “I’m so glad I met you. You took my mind off of someone from back home.” I asked who, and what she looked like. He replied, “She was cute, with blonde hair and green eyes.” That stuck with me. I was a little jealous, or maybe just shocked he said that, but I brushed it off.
He was open with me about her and told me he got this girl pregnant, and she chose to terminate the pregnancy. Again, this never bothered me during our dating phase, I just felt bad for him and that whole situation.
It wasn’t until my 2020 deep dive that it started to upset me. I began wondering if she was better in bed (because she was his first), and seeing her pics on FB noticing she’s fit and tall/blonde, opposite of me. I don’t know how to move past this. I think what hurts most is I reflect back to things he said when we were dating and now that I think about it, he was probably referring to her. For example, he used to bite my lower lip and tell me he loved my “bottom lip”, but my lips are not really full or anything special. When I saw her pics, guess what? Full, beautiful lips. Especially the bottom one. Am I going crazy? Lol.