AITA for not going to my close friend's wedding because of my birthday?
Last year, I (24F) found out that a close family friend was having her wedding on my birthday. I know it’s not a huge deal, but in my family, turning 25 is considered a big milestone. I’ve known this family friend since I was five, and our families grew up together. Although the bride and I aren’t as close as we used to be, we still have good conversations from time to time.
To be clear, I don’t mind that she chose my birthday for her wedding. It’s her wedding, and she can choose whatever date she wants. However, I was a little shocked when the save-the-dates were sent out. Regardless, I accepted it and decided I would just do something small for myself that day.
When the official invitations were sent, everyone had to RSVP. My family and I had several conversations about what I wanted to do, and I decided I would skip the ceremony in the afternoon, celebrate my birthday, and then attend the reception that evening.
Soon after, my mum received a call from the bride’s mother asking if we had made a mistake with our RSVP. She also received a call from another close family friend (let's call her Y) asking why we weren’t attending the ceremony as we were the only family that declined. Y suggested we either celebrate my birthday early in the morning so we could attend the 1 PM ceremony, or celebrate the next day instead. She also said the bride and her family were really upset because they considered us to be very close family friends. My mum told her that she would support whatever I wanted because it was my birthday, and Y asked if she could speak to me directly to convince me, but my mum said no lol.
After discussing everything with my family, my mum and dad think it would be best for us to attend the wedding. My sister (30F) said they may have taken our RSVP the wrong way and that, if I choose not to attend the ceremony, I shouldn’t expect them to attend our future family functions. She said that, at the end of the day, this is their oldest and only daughter’s wedding.
I’m not sure what to do. I was completely fine with celebrating my birthday in the afternoon and then attending the reception, but considering how close our families are, I’m worried that only attending the reception could be seen as rude or disrespectful.
I’m also a massive people pleaser, so I know that’s probably contributing to how I feel lol. I don’t want to be selfish or create unnecessary drama between our families, but at the same time, turning 25 is genuinely important to me and I want to be able to celebrate my birthday too. But I feel like if I go ahead with my birthday plans, I’ll end up regretting it and feeling guilty about it for a long time. What do I do??