u/Additional-Wing9477

My soon to be ex wife and I had been rocky for a while, we have a kid together and are in a joint tenancy. Cohabiting / coparenting along the ways. I pay for the majority of things.

I tried my best to save what was the marriage, but ultimately shes filed divorce, and I guess im now hit with a reality I hoped would never come.

I haven't told anyone, not my family, friends (who are basically my work colleagues). Through one thing. Shame.

I cant pass that feeling of shame, admitting to others, im getting a divorce. It didnt work, marriage? Yeah, not happening for me, im now single. Middle aged, with a child.

Not that I'm concerned about future dating, I have no interest nor plans for it, but I cant shift the immense shame that looms over me on this, I feel bad about it, and equally, hurt. It is never what I wanted, but I understand it.

I just feel like a failure, and now I feel, alone. With just a outweigh of guilt and shame for company.

My friends are all older, married, or separated themselves but hanging on to hope.

Work - sleep - repeat. Thats their lives, and I guess thats how my life will go.

Im not flush, so ill likely have to eventually consider living in a HMO, in a room. Something I would hate.

All of this just brings me back to one word. Shame.

I am ashamed of my situation, and in a way, ive become ashamed of myself for being unable to avoid an unavoidable situation.

Bit of background, my wife and I have been rocky for a while, we share a child and a home.

Shes now took the steps to start divorce proceedings.

Currently not sure how to feel, feel deflated, broken, sad, angry, all together in one big giant ball.

We are both on the rental agreement for our house, so legally neither of us have more rights than the other.

However due to a child being involved i will eventually look to leave I guess, don't want to. But what other choice is there?

I feel devastated, and it hurts. Even though I knew it was what was wanted on her part, I get i wasnt the best at all times, but man, I love her to bits and the worst part, shes my best friend.

I dont have no family or other friends local to me to support so im kind of lone wolfing this.

But it hurts, I feel like a piece of me has been torn apart, all I can feel is the memories of a life now lost.

I have no clue what to do, I feel like ive become a ghost to my own belonging.