u/Administrative_Gas_0

Today is my sister’s birthday. We hadn’t spoken in months after a huge pointless argument that she started. It’s been this way ever since she moved out of the family home, a few weeks before her birthday we all fall out then the day of/before she unblocks, reaches out and acts strangely positive. Every year I’ve always messaged her a happy birthday but this year I’ve chosen not to.

This birthday evening she’s created a group chat with maybe 50+ people including myself titled with some heart emojis but none of us know each other. I don’t even recognise them as friends she’s told me about. I believe she is expecting some kind of birthday wishes or something to feed her ego but everyone in the group chat is confused about why she even made it.

Ive seen long horrible hurtful text messages on this subreddit and thats the kind of thing i’m expecting after today. And i dont think i like her enough anymore to care about replying this time around. Being the first birthday of hers I’ve officially missed, i feel incredible sadness. It genuinely feels like i am losing my sister and i can’t fix it anymore.

Hi everyone

My sister in her 30s isn’t diagnosed with BPD but we have struggled for years with her behaviour to the point where I feel ready to fully distance. She received a doctor referral for it but I don’t think she went.

A few years back after a huge outburst accusing our mom of not caring about her she went missing for a year, changed address and then one day showed up again with suitcases ready to move back in. Since then the behaviour has repeated, constant exhausting outbursts, long scathing messages over nothing, blocking and unblocking us.

This time she is a single mother and has children and I worry a lot more because they are now involved in this same behaviour. Unrelated to BPD, but over Christmas her partner threatened to kill her and held a blade to her in front of the kids. She now has a restraining order against him and is housed in accommodation for women and children escaping domestic violence.

Since leaving him, she became pregnant with someone she met within a month and introduced to the kids within that same month. Constantly has outbursts with this new guy who now seemingly lives there together with the kids. She seriously talks to ChatGPT which supports her decisions to “play” men and is now back with her abusive ex who is also regularly invited into the house with the kids. She invested 1000s into a beauty business within a short 3 month period and never pursued it because AI is telling her otherwise now. Instead of using the business equipment she just manipulates the men she dates or goes onto dating sites for someone else to find money from. Her ChatGPT has basically adjusted to tell her all of her actions are “girlbossing”.

Now I am graduating this month. Her and her kids have been seriously excited about it and I’ve been weary about being excited about her coming because I fear she will pull away. She was on the phone to our mom when my graduation was brought up. Instantly flipped a switch, accused us of not caring about her. She hung up the phone and sent a long voice message talking about how much she does for us and how no one cares about her. We are both now blocked

I’ve spent years trying to maintain the relationship, but every time I try she just dumps the kids on us to babysit whilst she goes out on dates. I haven’t spent a long period of time with her in ages. I worry immensely for her and the kids but it’s exhausting treading on eggshells to maintain a relationship that a narcissist doesn’t care about unless it suits her.

The kids don’t do anything anymore. They just are given iPads and the eldest now uses chatgpt to talk to. I worry about them witnessing how abusive relationships can be reconciled.

I struggle to be present for someone who constantly pushes me away but takes me back when they need something.

Thanks for reading guys and I’m sure many of you can relate to such behaviours

I’m currently learning Arabic and found out alcohol stems from Arabic “al-kuhl” (meaning powder, which also is where we get the makeup “kohl” from) and was wondering what other loan words we get from Arabic.

“Algebra” comes from Al-Jabr. “Al-Jabr” itself comes from part of a book published in around 820 in Baghdad titled “The Concise Book of Calculation by Restoration and Balancing”. It means restoration or a reunion of broken parts. In the 1100s it was eventually translated into Latin to what we now spell as algebra.