u/Admirable-Arrival629

i (15f) was in the shower when i got a text from my boyfriend (16m) saying “i love you” and “goodbye.”

my heart genuinely dropped. i started shaking immediately because he had left me before after over a year together, and the second i saw that message all i could think was “not again.” i grabbed my phone with wet hands barely able to type because i was panicking so bad. i kept asking what was wrong while my mind went to every worst case scenario possible.

then he called me.

he was sobbing. like full on crying so hard he could barely talk. apologizing over and over saying he loved me, but he “couldn’t do this anymore.” and hearing him cry like that made me lose it even more because i thought something horrible had happened. i remember sitting on the bathroom floor shaking, begging him not to leave me again.

then he told me he meant our relationship.

he said he couldn’t love me properly because he didn’t even love himself. that he was broken and needed to heal and figure himself out alone. and because i loved him, i believed him. i believed every tear, every apology, every “i still love you.”

just for him to get with another girl a week later.

that’s the part i can’t get over. because if you already knew you wanted someone else, why make me sit there terrified? why cry like you were losing the love of your life? why make me believe this was about mental health and not just losing feelings for me?

i think what hurts most is that i would’ve stayed through anything with him. and meanwhile he was already halfway gone.

so... #whatdatmean

a few months ago my relationship ended after almost a year together. met when i was (14f) and when he was (14m). now he is (16m) and i turn 16 on the 19th. we tried again after the breakup and i really thought maybe things would work this time, but he left me for someone else. i dont have a good home life so my only thing keeping me going was gone. so that’s when it began, i guess. i started drinking heavily, vaping, self harming, became hypersexual. i would do these every day just to distract myself or feel something different for a little while. anything to stop thinking about him, or about myself, or about how empty everything started feeling after he left.

i used to care a lot about my faith too, and now i just feel numb toward it. i don’t know if i’m angry, disappointed, lost, or all three. i keep praying and feeling nothing back. i feel guilty for drifting away from God but also confused because i don’t even know how to believe the same way i used to after everything that’s happened.

i dont go to school or get any assignments done. i was on a worship team for my youth and i just stopped showing up. my room is a mess. i cant tell you the last time i brushed my teeth even.

i feel like i’m mourning my relationship, my faith, and the version of myself i used to be all at the same time. i don’t really know how to fix any of it. i do not have a will to live anymore. i know it sounds dramatic but he was my everything.

any advice would be greatly appreciated.