u/Admirable-Back-8523

I’m still trying to figure everything out, but honestly I feel like I’ve been getting worse mentally. I’ve been really overwhelmed, exhausted, and kinda emotionally detached lately. I have so much built up that I want to just cry and let everything out, but I can’t.
A lot of it comes from stuff at home. I’ve tried talking to my dad and stepmom about how stressed I am and how some of the rules and expectations are affecting me. I already pay rent, and there’s also this fining system where I get charged if I don’t meet certain requirements. Whenever I try to explain how unnecessary and stressful it feels, I feel like my feelings get dismissed or shut down and the subject turns into how they’re right!

I’m working now, trying to sell some of my stuff, and looking into housing resources because I really don’t think living like this is sustainable for me long term. I want to become independent and have more privacy and control over my own life.

I really don’t like asking people for money, but if anyone is genuinely in a position to help, even $5, $10, or $20 would mean a lot right now. Please don’t put yourself in a bad financial situation to help me though. Advice and resources are appreciated too.
I’m just trying to get through this and get myself into a more stable situation.

Limited-time price drop on my 89Sabers ESB Graflex to $550. Looking to sell quickly.
Hilt: $258.34
Professional custom install: $280
Custom weathering: $218.88
$757.22 invested total
GHv4 soundboard
Neopixel
Custom work/modifications by Sithslayer
Fully functional and in good condition
Asking $550 + shipping. Zelle accepted. Happy to provide info. DM me here or on eBay if interested!

Hey guys! I’m reposting this because Reddit says my original post was deleted.
I’m selling my 89Sabers ESB Graflex for $650. The hilt has been weathered and modified by Sithslayer, a known saber hobbyist, and was professionally installed by SG Saber Design. It runs Golden Harvest v4 (GHv4). With Bluetooth also
This isn’t just a stock 89Sabers Graflex! The weathering and modifications give it a much more authentic, used-on-screen ESB appearance.
Price: $650
If you’re interested, feel free to DM me! I can answer any questions about the saber, electronics, condition, or modifications.
I’d really appreciate anyone checking it out or sharing it with someone who might be interested! 🙏
Alright guys, MTFBWY!

this started during my senior year when i was 17. i’ve known my stepmom since i was like 6-7, so eventually i started calling her “mom” because that’s genuinely what she became to me. my biological mom HATED it. i wasn’t replacing her or choosing sides, i just saw two people as my moms. somehow it became a massive family war. my stepdad called me a “master manipulator,” said i act helpless so people will do things for me, and told me to shut up when i denied it. later my mom read messages where i vented to my stepmom, stopped talking to me for like 2 weeks, and even went through my deleted messages. another huge argument happened and my stepdad basically told me to go stay with my stepmom. eventually i moved in with my dad and stepmom.
now i’m 19 and somehow i feel trapped all over again. i have cerebral palsy, receive SSI, and i’m still learning how tf to be an adult. lately my dad and stepmom have been trying to control what i buy with my own money because it comes from SSI. i WANT help. teach me how to budget, explain things i don’t understand, tell me if you think i’m making a stupid purchase. but helping me learn and making decisions FOR me are completely different things.
and honestly, my depression has gotten really bad through all of this. i’m not just sad. i feel mentally and physically exhausted. sometimes everything feels heavy and even basic shit feels like it takes way more energy than it should. good things happen and i’ll feel happy for a little bit, then another family problem happens and it feels like i’m right back where i started. i’m constantly thinking about money, independence, where i’m going to live, whether another argument is coming, and whether i’m doing enough with my life. it feels like my brain never gets to actually rest.
the fucked up part is i don’t even feel comfortable telling my dad and stepmom how bad i’m doing. i feel like they have this “we’re the parents, you’re the kid, we know better” mindset. when i try to explain that i’m overwhelmed or something they did hurt me, i feel like i have to defend my feelings instead of just being heard. so eventually i just stop talking.
i’m trying to learn adulthood, manage money, work, become independent and live with a disability while my mental health feels like it’s falling apart. i’m fucking tired of constantly fighting. i left one household because i couldn’t handle the conflict anymore, and somehow i’m still fighting for control over my own life. i love my family. i don’t want another war. i just want to feel safe talking about how i feel, make my own choices, get help when i actually need it, and finally feel like my life belongs to me.