u/Admirable-Emu-2820

This is probably a slightly different situation.
Bf said that he was unsure about his feeling to me. This is after a 5 years relationship.
He wanted a break last week. I cried during that call but also said I would respect his decision.
He gave me a 2 month timeline to reconnect.
I immediately went to NC because in my previous relationship, I was a big drama queen. Begged, pleaded, sent gifts, stalked, etc. So I learned not to do that.

I was a mess during the whole week. I could not eat, I could not sleep. In my mind, I know this is the end.

Lo and behold yesterday after a week NC, he sent me a text.
He said (no verbatim) "I just want to check on you. I hope you are doing ok. I know I initiated this <heart emoji> but I have missed you."
I tried to act coy. I did not say I miss you back.
He was very VERY responsive in this texting session. Usually in the past he did not.
He also said, "Today's my dad birthday. I think you should send him a birthday DM."
What on earth?
But he did not say anything whether we are back on relationship.
So I let him lead the convo.

Hi all,

I just wanted to share my experience here. I am female in my late 40s so I have enough experience under my belt.
Recently my bf/ex? wanted to take a break from our relationship for 2 months, which started last month. We were together for 5 years. I have been in NC from the time he asked for this break. It hurts and has been hurting like sh*t. I tell you that. Even though I had been in five relationships prior to this one. But this time alone gave me some time to reflect. I have been listening to youtube videos from Coach Lee. Google him! He has a soothing voice and help me alot during my most difficult times.

With that said, here's my anecdotal experiences:

Relationship #1: "RR"
Last for only 3 months.
I was 17. (Yep). He was 39. (yep!). Let's call this ex "RR."
I begged him to take me back. I kneeled and cried in front of him and whoever that person was who had been sleeping with him.
Since this was 1999 and I was 15, I had no cell phone. So I was forced to no contact. I told my fam who did not know I was in this relationship to not relay me any of his phone calls when he called our landline.
Fast forward 6 months later (year 2000), I went to college in another state. I met this guy; let's call him "TP." He just broke up with me. On the same time, I was over "RR".
During spring break, I came back home. For some reason, I decided to go to his house and left a sticky note on his door, saying hi and provided our new landline number.
He called within 1 day.
I met "RR" and he told me that he really regretted everything. He said he tried to go to McDonald where I used to work to apologize but I was in college already at that time. I think he still had some feelings for me. He tried to kiss me and I budged. At this time, I was too preoccupied with my sadness getting over "TP."

Relationship #2: "TP"
Last for 4 months.
Super asshole. I was 18 and he was 29. The age gap was decreasing!
He was very controlling and forbade me to go to malls. One time I went to a mall and bought a Gap t shirt. He found out the receipt, and asked me whether I went to a mall. I lied. He broke up with me. I called him several times via landline and begged him. A friend of mine, who apparently had been sleeping with him as well during the same time, set up a meeting between me and him so that he could apologize. "TP" literally ran away as soon as he saw me in the meeting place.
My friend saw how down I was for weeks. In hindsight, I think my friend was also falling for him. Anywho from my friend I also found out that he had been sleeping with at least multiple guys and girls when I was with him. So it made it easier for me to get over him.
I started getting busy. I got my first car and one day when I was driving at night, I noticed that a guy on the car beside me waving at me. When I looked at his direction it was "TP." He asked me to park and I did. It came out as a surprise for me since he has not been in my mind. He left me a napkin with his phone number on it. I never called him. I probably had an urge to call him but remembering what he had been sleeping with other people during this time made me realize that I could have someone better than him. I never contacted him.
To be continued.