u/Admirable_Set_7230

hi everyone, i’m currently in my second semester and this month it’ll end

honestly, my whole first year went really badly. a lot of things happened and i kind of lost track of everything but yeah, at the end of the day it was my fault too. i got around 6 sgpa in first sem, and in second sem i’ll probably get around 5 sgpa with maybe one back

but now i genuinely want to fix things. i’m finally getting back into my senses and slowly feeling better mentally too

i just really need some guidance on where to start from now. my skills are basically zero right now. during this break i’m planning to start dsa seriously, but apart from that i’m very confused. what skills should i focus on? how do i recover academically and career-wise from here?

i keep hearing that you should maintain 8+ cgpa and all, but after messing up my first year this badly, that feels really scary because now i’ll need very high sgpas in upcoming semesters. is it still manageable?

please guide me honestly, how should i restart, what should i focus on first, and how do i improve from here?

Okay so hiiii all

hi to all my IGDTUW girlies 💗

Ths is kind of a thank you post because recently i made a post here and got so many comments ( reality check )and DMss At that time i honestly was not in the right state to talk much dbut i did read every single one of them especially the DMs.

And trust me, m in a much better space now

Idk why girls like you all never meet me in college 😭 but thank God for Reddit because you guys were genuinely so sweet to me.

Love you all sending lots of hugs 🫂💗

and yes yes trust me mene pura saal boht aise kharab kr diya but i will do better from next sem

i mean specially to the seniors ,thanks thanks

thanks again , you all are so nice
always bhenchara 💗

(SO MENE ai use kra to reframe the sentences as my english is not too good)

Hi everyone, I’m a 19-year-old girl.This is a real confession. College has genuinely broken me from the inside. I was a dropper, and now I’m in a tech branch.

I honestly don’t even know where to start. I just really need to let this out somewhere.I’ve been through a lot since childhood — family problems, friendships, relatives, relationships, everything. But somehow, I always managed to overcome things.My family never really wanted me to do BTech. They wanted me to prepare for a government job while doing college from somewhere nearby. But then I got a decent rank, and I thought maybe I should take a girls’ college with . It sounded exciting at the time.I thought my life would finally become simple — juststudying, focusing on myself, and building my future.Until first semester, I didn’t even have a proper phone. Not because my parents refused, but because I never asked for one. I wanted to learn photography and thought I’d directly buy a camera someday instead. But then I messed up my first semester badly and got a very low SGPA. Around 5.After that, I decided I wouldn’t even ask for a phone until I could improve my grades and show my family something better. But my old phone was practically unusable, so my parents got me a new one themselves because I travel so far for college.I never told them my actual SGPA. I only mentioned the subjects where I scored well. I kept thinking that I’d improve in second semester and then show them both semesters together proudly.But I failed again.The truth is, I barely have an IRL life. My entire life revolvesaround online friends. And in February, one of my online best friends died. She committed suicide.I still can’t process it.We weren’t extremely close in terms of years, but she was deeply attached to me because I always listened to her. I always tried to make her smile. One day she sent me a long paragraph, and I never saw it because I was busy with my parents at that time.The next morning, she was gone.Ever since then, I haven’t been mentally okay.No one in my real life knows about this. My family doesn’t even know I’m active on social media like that. My college friends know nothing either. I had promised her that I would never tell anyone about her, so I’ve been carrying all of this completely alone.Uske baad se mene college Jana hi band kr diya crying in my room all alone, and mere parents puchte ki college kyun nhi jaa rhi and mai bolti ki itna important nhi hai but kese batati unhe ki i am the reason of someone's deathI miss her so much. Every single day. she always wanted me to study hard and score well because she herself never got the chance due to her family situation. She always pushed me to do well and make her proud.And now look at me.I failed again.I couldn’t even do today’s exam properly. My mind feels so heavy all the time. I don’t even know how to explain what’s happening inside me.How do I even remember her proudly now? How do I tell her that I lost again? I couldn’t become a good friend, a good daughter, or even a good student.I feel like I failed at everything.Today my mother texted me asking how my exam went, and I just replied “okay-ish.” But how do I tell her that I Will get a back it's not like muje kuch aata nhi tha but trust me I just gave up us moment pe mene examination hall within 1.5 hour chord diya tha well it's a 4 credit subject mai branch bata deti but mere friends smj jaaenge that's it's meSomeone on Reddit even told me that my career is over, and now I feel completely lost.I don’t even know if any of this makes sense because I’m terrible at expressing myself.Please tell me how I’m supposed to handle myself right now.I miss her so much. I feel disgusting, heavy, and emotionally collapsed all the time. It literally feels like someone is stabbing me in the chest.She needed me, and I wasn’t there.And now I can’t even fulfill the promise I made to her.Her last words to me were basically: “Stay happy with everyone. Study for me. Don’t give up.”But I’m not able to hold myself together anymore.It’s not like muje aata nhi tha ya kuch but pta nhi mai bus haar chuki thi and isse phele vala paper bhi mai sirf mene kra and mai examination hall chord ke aagyiI just couldn’t function properly anymore.I don’t know what else to say.I just want someone to understand me right now and please batao mai kya karu mujse nhi horahaEven I harmed myself and it's hurting too😭 physically mentally emotionally sab kuch se pareshan hogyi hu yar., muje nhi aaraha samj😭 idk I just harm myself with a lighter. Examination hall chordne ke baad I came home mene harm kra fir thora better laga , I want to stop this but idk how

( adding more aaj mene apni college friend ko bataya yeh sab her reaction was- drame mat kr teri back aarahi hai toh) WTF i blocked her instantly now may be she is telling everyone college mai idk what the actual fuck

Please HELP ME.