u/Adorable_Air_7060

Please give me advice because this is eating me alive.

So my mother, she, ever since I was 16 (now 26F) have been unloading all her trauma on me, even from incidents from before my birth. And at first I was actually honored that she was sharing things with me. Made me feel like a grown up lol. But then she just started repeating the same stuff to me again and again and again. And I dont actually have a problem with this. Cause I realize that what she truly needed was therapy for all the toxicity that happened in her life so I always listened to her. Always. I realize that I was her only let out. But, now that I moved to another country and dealing with everything myself, things are not going good for me either. I am exhausted, stressed, depressed and lonely. I just want someone to hear me out. And I thought my mom would listen to me since we have that bond of listening to each other. I got the reality check when I wanted to her and after half an hour of it she made the most insensitive comment ever and when I called her out she stopped talking to me. Like?! Who does that? Can she not say at least ANYTHING good? Bro my world was collapsing she made such a insensitive comment I just couldnt take it and cut the call. Adn guess what. She was fine not calling me back for 2.months straight. Until I finally had to call again to explain what she did was wrong. Where she again got mad and cut the call. And was somehow the victim. Then I had to text her cause she wont talk. And I made her apologize. At least she did that. I was shocked lol. But i soon realized that out bond was just her talking and me listening. She had no interest in listening to me. Or just doesn't think my problems are big enough. Also I realized that she is kinda cold hearted and selfish? I feel bad even saying this. Cause I always saw my mom with rose tinted glasses and as the greatest person ever. Not I dont kmow anymore. Plus my younger siblings seems to realize this way earlier. They weren't shocked when I told them. And said they never had that kidna bond with her anyway. From then on whenever we talk and even though I promised to myself I will never share anything with her. Sometimes I forget plus dude I am desperate. I end up sharing stuff. And now she just ignore me 🙂🙂 literally just stares and jumps to a new topic. No comment nothing. Its like I am talking to a wall. Please give ne suggestion what to do and how handle this. She is so unbothered and never talks things out. Would rather ignore me.

Should I distance myself or talk to her? Please tell how to distance myself if thats the right way to go.

Also if anyone has any Islamic perspective or advice on it please tell me about. Cause ik we are supposed to be respectful to our parents. But sometjmes when she doesn't listen and I snap and then cut the call I feel like i am being sinful. I dont want that either. So please any advice is appreciated.