u/Adorable_Zone_6909

Hello! I just wanted to share my story in the hopes it could help someone out there struggling. My breakup happened September 2025.

This is long so buckle up people to this rollercoaster!

Background:

We met on a zoom call through a mutual friend. At the time, he lived in a city in the Philippines and I lived in another. We both had the common goal to move to Canada. Long story short, he moved to Vancouver since his sister lived there and I moved to Toronto for my own educational aspirations. Our agreement was wherever I got a job, he would move there.

Our relationship was always long distance, we were together for 4 years.

I did a 2 year program and he did a 1 year program.

My mom passed away in June 2025. I had to fly back to the Philippines to fix her affairs. I rushed getting all my mom’s affairs in order so that I could make it to my boyfriend’s sister’s wedding in September. I even designed the posters to make a good impression to his family.

My boyfriend was living with his sister and fiancé at that time and I stayed with them when I visited.

Our common big fights:

1. Whenever I show him something like a show or a movie, he gets super into it. However, when he shows something to me, I’m not as interested.
2. I get anxious and emotional and can get overbearing for him.
3. In the start of our relationship, I was losing weight unhealthily (starving and overexercising). He encouraged me to try to eat again but that led to my weight gain.

Actual breakup story-time:

As soon as I arrive to Vancouver, he kept giving me so much unwarranted attitude and making me feel unwelcome. Such as complaining on why I’m oversleeping, getting angry when I ask for food, etc. Please keep in mind, I’m heavily jet lagged and stressed through the ordeal I went through with my mom.

I confront him about it and we talk things out. Then, he gets covid and we join his brother and his wife in quarantine in another house.

The whole time, we’re not connecting. He says he’s not sexually attracted to me anymore because of my weight. We talk things out and push through with the wedding that became just a picnic at the park due to covid.

We come back to the sister’s house and every family event, I’m attending it all without him as he needs to work.

The first night back, he tells me that he’ll be meeting up with his friend that’s a girl at the end of the week. Confused, I asked why he’ll be seeing a girl while I’m here in Vancouver for him and not invite me. He gets mad and frustrated, says there’s nothing to worry.

I shrug it off, he asks to go on a walk and wants to speak with me. In the walk, he barely talks and I scream out of frustration. He eventually talks and says a laundry list of complaints towards me that I’ve been too emotional since my mom’s passing, I don’t like his animes, etc. He eventually says he’s tired and we head back home.

The next day, I have plans with my aunt and cousins. I told him he doesn’t have to go since he has work. I shop clothes for him and bring back food from the outing. He says he wants to break up, we talk things out and talk about starting on a fresh new footing. It was good and agreed to stay together.

At this time, we were home alone. Once we finished our conversation, his siblings and relatives come home. He mentioned how low his social battery has been, so I tell him that I can entertain the guests and he can go back to work. He goes up and a few minutes later, he texts me to come up.

I come up to the room and he basically says that he just talked to a friend that convinced him to break up with me. He tells me that he’s not in the right headspace to be in a relationship and the usual its not you its me line.

I go on auto pilot and start collecting my things, messaging my cousin if I could stay with her, and bring my suitcases downstairs. I packed up all my things from my childhood home into 4 suitcases. My boyfriend’s brother asks why I’m bringing down my suitcases, I pull him aside and tell him his brother just broke up with me. The brother and his wife, helped me with my things and helped me get an uber. As this is all happening, my boyfriend is just in his room. The uber arrives, the whole family comes out, I thank them and greet them goodbye as I’m crying. I take the uber to my cousin’s and spend a week after in my aunt’s house in Victoria.

Aftermath:

I spend a week in Victoria grieving both my mom’s death and the break up. I found out as well in the same trip that me and my brother have different dads through my aunt.

I eventually go home to Toronto and just cried and ate for a week since I got sick with an ear infection.

I find out almost a month after that he’s moving in with the same girl that he mentioned to not worry about. I tell the brother’s wife and the whole family had no idea he was moving out with a girl.

The girl by the way, is twice his age, divorced, with mental disabilities.

I block the whole family, him, and everything concerning him.

It’s still a journey of healing but slowly getting there ❤️