u/AdvantageCalm4070

first spritz pa lang nung nabili kong perfume, mangiyak-ngiyak na ko kaninang umaga. totoo nga na asmell can bring you back.

suddenly i was there again, the naïve girl who thought she would be chosen simply because of love. the times i thought this was it. the forever i never thought i'd get. the times when we were in our own world. tayo lang. the times when, if you'd ask if i was happy, i'd immediately say yes, no hesitation.

it was so long ago, i should have forgotten everything. i mean, i have, some of it. but the important parts? andito pa sa utak ko, tucked somewhere. with one spray, it all came rushing back.

how much i loved you. how much i wanted you to choose me. how much i wanted to beg, then backtracking because i also know that i shouldn't have to beg. how much this scent made me feel safe, made my heart flutter whenever i'd smell it because i know it was you coming.

how much i associated this smell with you.

if i don't dwell on the ending too much, i think i would've associated this smell with the time i first fell in love, and feel happy and possibly bittersweet. but i can't. so now all i feel is that familiar pain, again, of remembering that i wasn't worth the risk.

the scent still slaps, though, so i'll continue using it. and associating better memories for it.

dude alam mo ba i quite literally chased yung isa kong kaopisina because kaamoy nya yung pabango mo dati? ang bango kaya nun.

anyway what i'm getting at is that i hope you talk to me. to tell you frankly nakakatakot yung asta at sinasabi mo na you got this. i know we made a pact pero i am willing to forego and listen this once kasi i have a sinking feeling that you will do the worst possible choice. god, i hope you don't.

please?

alam ko we said no updates with each other.

i just really hope you're okay. hindi ko alam kung handa akong pakinggan yung rants mo tungkol dyan pero i can promise na i'll be here for you.

nag-aalala lang ako for you. i hope you're okay. i really, really do.

i fucking did it. went cold and told him it's too late for apologies, too late to say anything that would have otherwise changed something, too late for anything to matter.

pero tangina ang sakit pa rin. tama naman yung ginawa ko, pero bakit masakit? pinili ko lang naman yung sarili ko, mapili man lang ako kahit minsan. ayoko sanang mawala siya pero mas ayokong mawala yung sarili ko.

sabi nga ni tate mcrae, you broke me first.

mukha akong tanga kanina, kumakain kasi ako sa labas tas naguusap kami, walang tigil yung patak ng luha ko. nanalo pa nga ako sa paraffle nila, naawa siguro.

dami kong quotable quotes HAHAHA

"I'm tired of playing second fiddle in your life"

"You let me stay in your orbit kasi i'm accessible"

"It's too late for change, don't you think?"

"I really, really don't think you have a say on how I act."

O PAK SINO KA DYAN HAHAHA 😂😭😂😭

seen, pero walang sagot. e pucha anong sasabihin ko? wala naman din.

hayaan mo kasi silang kilalanin ka tulad ng pagkilala ko. observant nga daw kasi ako sabi ng kasama natin, kaya parang kabisado. may pattern of behavior lang.

bukas lang naman messages ko, pero di na ako magrereply kung hindi importante. pasensya na, pero ako yung trade-off. you can't have everything you want, bro.