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TLDR bride was upset I didn't attend the pre-wedding girlfriends reunion, despite me not being invited to the wedding. AITA?

This happened a few years ago but recently came up in conversation with friends and they are split. My friend 'Jane' and I were in the same group of girlfriends from university. We were close then - weekly dinners, drinks after class and studying together. When I moved away to the city after graduation (2.5 hour drive), we fell out of touch naturally due to distance but still texted occasionally. We stayed in touch through the friend group but not one on one as much.

When I got married shortly before covid, I invited her to my small wedding (less than 100) in the city. No plus one as she wasn't see anyone seriously and we had a 'no ring, no bring' rule (we didn't want to meet strangers for the first time at our wedding). She did come with the other girlfriends and generously gave $100 cash gift.

Cut forward a few years later, mid covid and Jane is engaged. I send her a congratulations and the usual let me know if you need anything. She never responds and I chalk it up to her being busy. I receive a group text invite to their stag and doe (engagement party) with a link for cash donations. I rsvp no because I was dealing with a family member in the ICU. Later in the year, invites are sent out and mutual girlfriends ask me to split a hotel since the wedding is in the countryside. They were all surprised I was not invited but I told them not to make a big deal of it. It was Jane's wedding and she gets to decide who she wants to invite (her money, her choices).

I continue to get group texts (with strangers mind you, not through the friend group) for buying wedding raffle tickets and donations etc. At this point, I figure if she isn't going to message me personally, I don't need to respond. Fast forward to the week of the wedding, I receive a group text invite for a girls reunion dinner on the Thursday before Saturday wedding. All the girls invited to the reunion dinner are also invited to the wedding - except for me. Middle of work week and it would be a 5 hour drive roundtrip (especially when I wasn't staying for the wedding). I message back saying sorry I can't make it and wishing her well. No response.

After the wedding, I hear from mutual friends that Jane and her family were upset with me for not making an effort to attend the girls reunion and not contributing to the raffle/donation/sending a wedding gift. Some friends think I should have made an effort to attend the dinner and others think it was rude on Jane's part for not inviting me to the wedding. AITAH?

ETA wow guys. I was expecting a few people to just tell me to move on but it seems majority feel strongly about weddings. To answer common questions ... Yes, I did text Jane personally after the engagement party invite to apologize and explain I couldn't make it due to a family emergency. All she replied was ok and thanks for letting me know. Yes, a mutual girlfriend asked her specifically if I was not invited (after the hotel conversation). Jane confirmed I was not invited as they were keeping the wedding small (200 people). It's unclear if Jane was upset to not get a plus one at my wedding - she never mentioned anything to me and Jane's own wedding did not include plus ones for most girlfriends/guests.

And for everyone giving me a hard time about 'no ring, no bring' for wedding guests - of course friends or family with partners/significant others were invited (named on the invitation). Everyone at our wedding we knew personally. We just weren't giving out blank invitations for plus ones strangers.

This all happened a few years ago and water under the bridge. The reminiscing came up due to the summer wedding season. Hope this gave you a good chuckle for your day.

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