AITAH for thinking on abandoning my father?
My(29M) life, and my sister’s (32F) life, changed forever on April 9th when our father suffered a massive medical emergency. My sister and I have been his primary caregivers at home ever since.
He is 62 years old and has serious chronic health issues, including Type 2 Diabetes. After his first major crisis, the doctors told us his heart was working at a fraction of its capacity and that he had permanent damage that couldn't be fixed. We brought him home and tried to follow every rule: strict diets, constant monitoring, and preventing any physical effort.
The problem is my father is in total denial. He dissociates and refuses to accept he is sick. He thinks he’ll be back to a "normal life" in weeks, even though he can barely breathe. Because of this, he makes terrible decisions—trying to do things alone that could literally kill him.
A few days ago, he had a massive relapse and we had to rush him back to the hospital under a "Code Red" emergency. He was drowning in his own fluids. I feel a crushing sense of guilt because, in my darkest moments, I feel like I am "prolonging the inevitable". I saved him by taking him to the hospital, but seeing him suffer like this makes me wonder if I did the right thing, or if I just signed him up for more weeks of agony.
Today, after a minor disagreement, he sent a text message to my sister. He told us he doesn't want either of us to care for him anymore. He said he is "ready to be alone" and doesn't need our help, despite the fact that he is currently in a hospital bed under high-risk observation.
I am exhausted. I have put my life, my studies, and my mental health on hold for a man who is now throwing our help back in our faces. My sister and I are considering stepping back and letting him handle his own "care" as he demanded, but I feel like an absolute monster for "abandoning" him when I know he can't survive without us.