u/Affectionate-One7642

My best friend and I have been friends for over 20 years. Recently I’ve been noticing things that kind of make me question if she even likes me as a friend. Here’s some examples:

\\\\\\\\-When I go on a vacation, she hardly ever asks me questions about it. Whereas with our other girl friend, she’ll ask her a million questions, get the full scoop, act super excited for her, etc. I always ask my bff questions about her trips, so it’s just not reciprocated. I’ll even go cool places, and she acts super dis-interested. Our friend went to a few towns over from us and she acted like it was the coolest thing ever… I don’t get it?

\\\\\\\\-her and our other friend used to watch love island without me, never inviting me or telling me to watch so I could follow along with them. But today, to our new friend, she acted very excited and was adamant that she start to watch it so they can all talk about it together..

\\\\\\\\-She has told me on several occasions that she is jealous of my body. She makes comments like “I work the hardest out of any of you, and you are the one getting compliments”. Which is untrue, I have worked extremely hard, we just have different body types.

\\\\\\\\-Our friends will show her photos of their outfits and she’ll be extremely supportive and act all excited. But then with me I’ll show her and she’ll say “wow okay” with not much emotion.

\\\\\\\\-She goes all out for our other friends birthdays, decorating, buying a thoughtful fancy gift, posting a bunch of photos with her etc. On my birthday, she didn’t take a single picture with me, got me a gift and said “I didn’t know what you’d want” and didn’t even write it on her calendar like she does everyone else’s birthdays.

\\-I started making sourdough bread last year and (not to toot my own horn) I was really good at it. I would post to my instagram story, which she replied to one time saying @good job”. Never asked me about it, in fact she went to a random coworker and asked them for instructions/their starter instead of me her best friend. Then now I gave our other girl friend some starter since she asked me, and she has been baking bread. My bff will text her in our shared GC and day “wow I knew you would be incredible at this!! You’re amazing I’m so impressed!!” I’m like…

\\-I feel on edge when I’m around her because I don’t really know what to talk about. I feel like she just doesn’t get me and I have to put on this fake act

How do I handle this situation? I’m at a loss of what to do. I keep thinking maybe I’m not being a good friend or something is wrong with me.

Tl;dr my bff has been acting distant and weird at times.

Hi all,

My best friend and I have been friends for over 20 years. Recently I’ve been noticing things that kind of make me question if she even likes me as a friend. Here’s some examples:

\-When I go on a vacation, she hardly ever asks me questions about it. Whereas with our other girl friend, she’ll ask her a million questions, get the full scoop, act super excited for her, etc. I always ask my bff questions about her trips, so it’s just not reciprocated.

\-her and our other friend used to watch love island without me, never inviting me or telling me to watch so I could follow along with them. But today, to our new friend, she acted very excited and was adamant that she start to watch it so they can all talk about it together..

\-She has told me on several occasions that she is jealous of my body. She makes comments like “I work the hardest out of any of you, and you are the one getting compliments”. Which is untrue, I have worked extremely hard, we just have different body types.

\-Our friends will show her photos of their outfits and she’ll be extremely supportive and act all excited. But then with me I’ll show her and she’ll say “wow okay” with not much emotion.

\-She goes all out for our other friends birthdays, decorating, buying a thoughtful fancy gift, posting a bunch of photos with her etc. On my birthday, she didn’t take a single picture with me, got me a gift and said “I didn’t know what you’d want” and didn’t even write it on her calendar like she does everyone else’s birthdays.

There’s more things, but this is what immediately comes to mind. I’m sad, I’m confused. I really don’t understand where we went wrong. Some days were super good and others we aren’t and it makes me question things. I just don’t really even know how to approach this with her.

Any advice on how to handle this? Should I pull away and give her space? Should I try extra hard and go out of my way?

Tl;dr my bff has been acting distant and weird at times.

Hi all,

My best friend and I have been friends for over 20 years. Recently I’ve been noticing things that kind of make me question if she even likes me as a friend. Here’s some examples:

-When I go on a vacation, she hardly ever asks me questions about it. Whereas with our other girl friend, she’ll ask her a million questions, get the full scoop, act super excited for her, etc. I always ask my bff questions about her trips, so it’s just not reciprocated.

-her and our other friend used to watch love island without me, never inviting me or telling me to watch so I could follow along with them. But today, to our new friend, she acted very excited and was adamant that she start to watch it so they can all talk about it together..

-She has told me on several occasions that she is jealous of my body. She makes comments like “I work the hardest out of any of you, and you are the one getting compliments”. Which is untrue, I have worked extremely hard, we just have different body types.

-Our friends will show her photos of their outfits and she’ll be extremely supportive and act all excited. But then with me I’ll show her and she’ll say “wow okay” with not much emotion.

-She goes all out for our other friends birthdays, decorating, buying a thoughtful fancy gift, posting a bunch of photos with her etc. On my birthday, she didn’t take a single picture with me, got me a gift and said “I didn’t know what you’d want” and didn’t even write it on her calendar like she does everyone else’s birthdays.

There’s more things, but this is what immediately comes to mind. I’m sad, I’m confused. I really don’t understand where we went wrong. Some days were super good and others we aren’t and it makes me question things. I just don’t really even know how to approach this with her.

Any advice on how to handle this? Should I pull away and give her space? Should I try extra hard and go out of my way?

Tl;dr my bff has been acting distant and weird at times.

I (29F) recently found out that my best friend (29F) told her other friend about something terrible/embarrassing me and my husband went thru.

To keep a long story short: my husband and I and my best friend and her husband and a few others went on vacation last year when my husband got pretty drunk and we ended up getting into the worst fight we’ve ever been in. My best friend wasn’t involved directly, but I did cry to her the next day because I needed support.

We talked about it and obviously my husband and I have completely worked thru it thru therapy, but one thing I asked of her was that she not share it with anyone else because I was very embarrassed and I just don’t really need others judging or forming opinions.

She promised she wouldn’t. But then a few weeks ago I was hanging with our other friend who brought it up to me, and said my best friend told her the whole story. I asked what exactly did she tell her, and our stories didn’t match up. When I told her what actually happened, she said “wow they (my bff and her husband) didn’t make it seem like that, they told it completely different”.

We didn’t get into all the details of what they said, but they downplayed a lot and made me out to seem like I was at fault. Which is just totally wrong and something that hurts me deeply as I have always kind of felt they didn’t believe me or support me when my husband and I went thru that.

I am feeling betrayed and let down. She’s supposed to keep my secrets, not go around and tell one of my husband and I’a worst moments. We’ve all had them, but I never share her personal info with others. There was no reason for her to do that- we dealt with it amongst ourselves and moved on.

I honestly don’t know what to do, I don’t want to share anything personal with her anymore because she does blab about all her other friends as well. Her and her husband are the type to hardly ever share their hardships with anyone, but go around and gossip about everyone else in their life. They act like they’re perfect, but occasionally I’ll get a glimpse of the truth and it’s just upsetting they would do this.

I just have this gut feeling that she’s shared this with others, and it just sucks feeling like people are judging us or will think about that when they see us. I really didn’t need nor want this.

Do I talk to her about this? Let it go and move forward not sharing vulnerable things with her? I need advice.

Tl;dr my bff shared something deeply personal to her other friend when I asked her not to