u/AffectionateAd6328

My wife has been listening to books involving threesomes and multiple partners, and a scene involving DP really sparked her interest in an MFM threesome. After talking to a female friend who has done multiple threesomes wife asked me if I would consider it. After a lot of discussion, and after I found the book that originally sparked her interest and listened to it myself, I realized I really want this for her as well. Honestly after listening to the book it’s my new fantasy to try and give her exactly this.

We’ve tried recreating the sensation with toys and she enjoyed it immensely ,but I honestly think she would enjoy the real experience more. I’m 100% on board, and we’ve already discussed some ground rules. Basically, while I’m okay with her drinking, I don’t want her to be overly drunk. I want her to still be able to say no if she becomes uncomfortable, and not be so impaired that she doesn’t fully know what’s going on or gives in because of the alcohol. Also if I get uncomfortable in the moment I can put a stop to it as well.

She agreed and suggested just drinking enough to lightly feel the effects. We may discuss that more because I’m still very nervous about her drinking too much.

The main hurdle she seems stuck on now is the second guy aspect. She said that’s the part she doesn’t know how she’ll get past. She has never considered being with another guy, and we’ve been together since we were both 14 now almost 20 years later. I’ve assured her that I’m okay with it, but I think this may end up being the hard stop for her if she can’t mentally work past it.

I don’t want to be pushy. I’ve just reassured her that if, in the moment, she can’t go through with it, she can back out and nobody will be upset. For now, I’m just going to let things sit and maybe bring it up again in a week or longer.

I’m mostly curious if other couples have dealt with this same issue. Is this usually a hard stop, or is there anything else I should or shouldn’t say or do?

We’ve been each other’s first and only for almost everything, so I know this is a huge step outside the comfort zone for both of us.

Edit to add details:
(Everything below has already been discussed with wife and she did not think I was in the wrong and I even told her the part about me not really wanting a fmf just the option but I told her not to agree to it unless she was comfortable with it even if a possibility I never try and redeem the option. The only thing I have not discussed with her is dropping the fmf ultimatum.)

My wife has been listening to dirty books about gangbangs or threesomes. She is interested in mfm threesome. I have stated that I am open to it and told her that while some limits would need to be put in place it is a fantasy to see her having sex with another guy. I told her I would not be open unless she was ok with the possibility of fmf she said she would be more interested in it if the girl focused on her but she thinks she would get jealous if I had sexual interaction with the girl and is not interested. Honestly I don’t have that much interest in having sex with another girl and would be more interested in ether option that focused on my wife. I think it more bothers me that she gets the option and I do not. But honestly I don’t know if I would ever take it even if it was an option for me to have sex with another girl threesome or not. Should I drop it and get my real fantasy or should I hold to my ultimatum. What would you do? If she doesn’t like the idea of me having sex with another girl during a threesome but I’m just saying it to keep my options open but I have no interest in it kinda makes me feel like I’m loosing out on one fantasy for something that I don’t actually care about. Also keeping my wife from achieving a fantasy.

I’m male 34 wife 33 married for 10 years but dating since 15 so we are each others first and only experience sex wise. I have explained to her these would be one time experiences if we followed through with it. I think while I would be a little jealous 19 years of loyalty one agreed upon exception I can not let eat me up.