I cried in front of my boss for the 2nd time
Hi guys, I wanted to come on here and get a manager’s perspective on this.
I’ve been in my team for under a year, and I’ve cried in front of my manager twice now. I’m worried about how this might come across.
The first time was after I came back from holiday and found out my grandpa had died. I was also really burnt out at the time, although I didn’t tell my manager that part. I bumped into them in the toilet and they asked me a few times if I was okay, and I ended up breaking down crying. They were really kind about it, told me about times they’d cried at work too, hugged me, and told me to go downstairs and take some time away from my desk. After that, I was fine.
The second time was today. Yesterday, I told my manager I’d continue some work from home because my commute is around two hours and it was already 5:30pm. Long story short, because of cancelled trains I didn’t get home until 8:30pm, but I still logged on and tried to finish the work. I didn’t manage to finish it, so I left a note on the file explaining where I’d got to and then went to bed.
The next day, my manager spoke to me about it and basically said that I’m working really hard, but I don’t need to be logging on at 8pm after a long commute, especially when train cancellations are out of my control. They said they trust me to do the work when I can.
They were being really kind and reassuring, but I started getting teary eyed because I already have a lot of feelings around not doing enough (i’m a junior atm). Another factor is that my parents are travelling tomorrow to attend my grandpa’s funeral in another country, in a town that is recently under terrorist attacks, so I’m also quite anxious about that. I didn’t tell my manager the later details though.
As I felt teary eyed already, this time, I excused myself to the bathroom, tried to get all the crying out, and then went to sit in a more private area on my floor. My manager saw sit down me and came to meet me and said, “let’s go on a walk.” I started crying again, but I only said I was overwhelmed. They comforted me again and then I went outside for a bit on my own then got back to work feeling fine and presenting my usual self.
They also sent me messages saying things like “we are here for you” and let the person I had a meeting with next know that I might not join because I was out taking a breather and was quite tired. The two instances were 3 months apart.
I’m just wondering: if you were my manager, and all you knew was that the first time I cried because my grandpa had died, and the second time I said I was overwhelmed, what would your perspective be?
Would you see this as concerning/unprofessional?