u/Affectionate_Wish678

I was in a relationship with my ex for around 5–6 years, he was my first relationship and lately I’ve been wondering if I might have an avoidant attachment style.

In the beginning of the relationship, he wanted sexual intimacy pretty early on, maybe within a few weeks of dating, and it honestly made me uncomfortable and irritated. I didn’t fully understand why at the time. He would get frustrated too, and I think that’s where a lot of our problems started.

Even after we became physically intimate, I noticed a pattern in myself. Sometimes I craved his attention a lot, but when he actually gave me attention, I would suddenly feel bothered or overwhelmed by it. I also had trust issues. I hated the idea of him watching porn and would try to control that part of his behavior, even though he kept saying he didn’t. I never fully trusted him.

He wanted emotional and physical closeness more than I did. I was usually the one avoiding intimacy, avoiding texting first, or only seeing him when I personally felt like it. He was mostly the one putting effort into communication.

I also have ovarian cysts, and now I sometimes wonder if that may have affected my sexual interest too, because I often felt very low interest in intimacy. I used to even tell him things like “maybe I can’t fulfill your needs, go find someone else,” because I genuinely felt guilty and pressured by the difference between us.

As distance started growing between us, I began feeling like maybe this relationship wasn’t what I truly wanted anymore. Instead of communicating honestly, I emotionally pulled away more and more. Eventually I cheated on him with another guy because I think part of me wanted an escape or a way out but didn’t know how to handle my feelings properly.

Now I’m with the other guy, and at first I felt relieved because he doesn’t really crave physical intimacy the way my ex did. But now I’m starting to notice the exact same pattern happening again. Whenever I feel myself getting emotionally attached or too close to him, I suddenly feel the urge to pull myself away and create distance.

It’s confusing because part of me wants love, attention, and connection, but another part of me feels uncomfortable when someone gets too emotionally or physically close. I genuinely can’t tell if this is avoidant attachment, fear of intimacy, trust issues, hormonal/health related, or something else.

I was in a relationship with my ex for around 5–6 years, he was my first relationship and lately I’ve been wondering if I might have an avoidant attachment style.

In the beginning of the relationship, he wanted sexual intimacy pretty early on, maybe within a few weeks of dating, and it honestly made me uncomfortable and irritated. I didn’t fully understand why at the time. He would get frustrated too, and I think that’s where a lot of our problems started.

Even after we became physically intimate, I noticed a pattern in myself. Sometimes I craved his attention a lot, but when he actually gave me attention, I would suddenly feel bothered or overwhelmed by it. I also had trust issues. I hated the idea of him watching porn and would try to control that part of his behavior, even though he kept saying he didn’t. I never fully trusted him.

He wanted emotional and physical closeness more than I did. I was usually the one avoiding intimacy, avoiding texting first, or only seeing him when I personally felt like it. He was mostly the one putting effort into communication.

I also have ovarian cysts, and now I sometimes wonder if that may have affected my sexual interest too, because I often felt very low interest in intimacy. I used to even tell him things like “maybe I can’t fulfill your needs, go find someone else,” because I genuinely felt guilty and pressured by the difference between us.

As distance started growing between us, I began feeling like maybe this relationship wasn’t what I truly wanted anymore. Instead of communicating honestly, I emotionally pulled away more and more. Eventually I cheated on him with another guy because I think part of me wanted an escape or a way out but didn’t know how to handle my feelings properly.

Now I’m with the other guy, and at first I felt relieved because he doesn’t really crave physical intimacy the way my ex did. But now I’m starting to notice the exact same pattern happening again. Whenever I feel myself getting emotionally attached or too close to him, I suddenly feel the urge to pull myself away and create distance.

It’s confusing because part of me wants love, attention, and connection, but another part of me feels uncomfortable when someone gets too emotionally or physically close. I genuinely can’t tell if this is avoidant attachment, fear of intimacy, trust issues, hormonal/health related, or something else.
**TL;DR;**

I’m an international student in the U.S. currently doing my master’s in Agricultural and Applied Economics. My undergraduate degree from Nepal in plant science and I have around 28 citations from research related to plant science back home. I also have one U.S.-based review paper currently in the publication process, although it is not directly related to agri-econ.

I’m thinking long term about immigration and career stability, especially the EB-2/NIW path. One thing I’m confused about is this:

If I later pursue a PhD in a field different from Agricultural Economics (for example another science field), would that negatively affect an EB-2 NIW case? How do officers usually view applicants whose research interests evolve across fields?

I’m also honestly considering switching careers entirely into nursing if academia/research immigration pathways become too uncertain or difficult. Has anyone here transitioned from research/agriculture into healthcare or nursing as an international student? Was it worth it?

I’d really appreciate realistic advice from people who have gone through EB-2 NIW, PhD transitions, or career changes as international students.