u/After-Brother6642

Im 47 years old. I have no friends. My phone only rings if its bill collectors. Bills I can't pay. My girlfriend of over 4 years left, said she needed more a week after telling me she was happy and we're doing the best we'd ever done. Yall know what that means...I dont have to say it. I work at amazon which is in itself so goddamn depressing that I typically try to talk myself into committing instead of going back. Im sorry for the rant....im so tired. I just want to go home. But I dont know where that is anymore.Just want to not be weird or sick (type 1 diabetic). So tired In a world that doesn't rest. Im broken. I dont want to keep fighting. But I will. Not because im strong, but because im chicken shit.Life sucks. Always has, always will. If anyone actually reads this, thanks. If not, thats ok too. I needed to feel heard I guess.

Does anyone really have any sort of control over their type 1? 15 years in, pumps, pods, nutrition and fitness coaches and i can't get more than a day with decent glucose management. It ALWAYS goes high. ALWAYS. All I have to do is wake up, and its on. Same foods work well one day and the next my sugars go to 300 eating the exact same things. Im just tired of feeling sick all the time. I hear stories of people in great physical condition, well controlled diabetes, and I just don't believe it. My body won't stop eating itself. Do I feel sorry for mys3lf...yeah a little bit, but more than that im just over it. This is a stupid way to live.