u/After-Wealth2370

Where do I actually belong? Half Romanian, half Belgian, but never fully either

I'm half Romanian and half Belgian, and I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

My mother is from a small village in Romania called Hodora. She grew up there with her family on a farm, but during communism they lost the farm and much of what they had. She always told me that she wanted to get away from there, and she eventually met my Belgian father, who was a truck driver.

My parents separated before I was born, and my father died when I was around 5–7 years old. I only have a few very blurry memories of him, but they're mostly good ones. When I stayed with him, I remember being happy. He was kind to me, a great cook, and sometimes took me along in his truck when he travelled. I even remember sitting behind the wheel with him.

He definitely had his problems though. He was an alcoholic and a womanizer, and apparently had more than 11 children with different women. He had also lied about his age to my mother when they met and was around 20 years older than her.

But my father isn't really the point of this post.

I grew up mostly around my Romanian family. Romanian traditions, Orthodox Christianity, Romanian holidays, food, family gatherings — all of that was a normal part of my childhood. I was constantly surrounded by Romanian people and the language.

Yet somehow, I never learned to speak Romanian.

My mother chose to speak French with me at home because that was the language she spoke with my stepfather. We also lived in the Dutch-speaking part of Belgium, so Dutch was everywhere outside the house.

As a result, I ended up with a strange relationship with Romanian. I can understand basic Romanian and recognize a lot of words because I've heard it my entire life, but I can't properly hold a conversation.

And in my entire Romanian family, I'm basically the only one like that.

Even relatives who married people from completely different backgrounds still passed Romanian on to their children. I was the odd one out. My family knew I spoke French, so they would speak dutch to me or simply speak Romanian knowing that I could understand parts of it.

I've often wondered whether that makes me less Romanian.

At the same time, I've never felt completely Belgian either. I grew up in Belgium, but my home was French-speaking and my family was Romanian. I've also experienced racism here, and I've often felt more comfortable around other people with immigrant backgrounds than around native Belgians.

So for a long time I've had this feeling that I'm somehow too Romanian for Belgium and not Romanian enough for Romania.

Now I'm an adult and I have my own family. My partner actually has a surprisingly similar background, so this isn't something I experience alone anymore.

We have a one-year-old daughter, and we've decided that we want to leave Belgium completely.

We don't have family or close friends here keeping us here. It's going to be the three of us, starting from scratch somewhere else.

We're not sure where yet.

And that's where this whole question has become much more important to me.

We've looked at different countries and places, but every time I think about moving somewhere new, i know i will be looked at as a foreigner again.

But I would like to find somewhere where my daughter and I can build a life without constantly feeling like we don't quite belong.

So I'm curious what everyone thinks,

I'm genuinely interested in honest answers, not just reassurance.

I have a feeling that there are probably other people here who grew up somewhere between cultures and understand exactly what I'm talking about.

Where should we go?

Where can we build life and feel like we can belong?

For now we are going to a french island called la reunion.

For allot of reasons of our own,

but the island also struggles with its own issues, allot of different things but also things like racism or anti-foreigners, because of these specific issues.

and i am scared we might fall under the category where this hatred and frustration is aimed at.

So we do hope to make a life there but if we notice that it is not safe for us or we are not welcome, then we will leave.

I am not a highly educated man and no we are not people with money that can just spend to go and start anywhere, we take allot of risk and are willing to work.

Because thats all i know is how to work hard and find local work that people dont want to do regardless if its logistics, cooking, cleaning, picking up trash. I know how to work. So with the limited skills i have i still want to give the best i can for my family and my daughter is not getting any younger, so i want to change her suroundings asap so she doesnt have to grow up unwelcomed like me.

Bonjour à tous,

Pour ceux qui vivent à La Réunion : si on n’est pas particulièrement difficile concernant le type de travail et qu’on est prêt à accepter pratiquement n’importe quel emploi accessible sans qualification particulière (logistique, entrepôt, grande distribution, restauration, fast-food, livraison, nettoyage, etc.), combien de temps faut-il réalistement pour trouver un emploi ?

Je parle de La Réunion dans son ensemble, pas uniquement d’une ville en particulier.

Est-ce que trouver quelque chose en 2 à 4 semaines est réaliste en postulant activement tous les jours, ou faut-il plutôt compter 1 à 2 mois ?

Et surtout, quels conseils donneriez-vous à quelqu’un qui est vraiment prêt à commencer par n’importe quel poste pour mettre un pied dans le monde du travail ?

Quels secteurs recrutent le plus facilement ?

Est-ce qu’il vaut mieux postuler en ligne, se présenter directement dans les entreprises ou passer par les agences d’intérim ?

Y a-t-il des agences ou sites d’emploi particulièrement efficaces ?

Le permis de conduire fait-il une grosse différence ?

Avez-vous d’autres conseils pour trouver rapidement son premier emploi ?

Je cherche surtout des retours réalistes et récents de personnes qui ont cherché du travail sur l’île. Merci d’avance pour vos conseils !

Bonjour à tous ! Dans environ un mois, ma compagne, notre petite fille d’un an et demi et moi allons arriver à La Réunion. 🇷🇪🌴 Nous sommes tous les deux nés en Belgique, dans le même hôpital d’ailleurs, et notre fille y est également née quelques années plus tard. 😄 Pourtant, même en étant nés et ayant grandi en Belgique, nous avons parfois eu le sentiment d’être considérés comme des étrangers à cause de nos origines. De mon côté, je suis à moitié Belge et ma famille est d’origine roumaine. J’ai grandi dans une région néerlandophone de Belgique, mais j’ai toujours parlé français avec ma mère. Ma compagne a également des origines étrangères, sa famille étant colombienne. C’est notamment une des raisons pour lesquelles La Réunion m’intéresse autant. Je suis attiré par son histoire, ses différentes cultures, le créole, ses paysages, sa cuisine et surtout par cette identité particulière qui s’est construite au fil du temps. Je sais évidemment que l’arrivée de personnes venant de l’extérieur est un sujet sensible. Après avoir lu beaucoup de vos réponses, je comprends mieux pourquoi. Je comprends les problèmes liés au logement, à l’emploi, au coût de la vie, à la pression immobilière et surtout la peur de voir progressivement disparaître une partie de l’identité et du mode de vie réunionnais. Et je voudrais m’excuser si certaines de mes réponses précédentes ont donné l’impression que je refusais de comprendre ce problème, ou que je pensais savoir mieux que vous comment fonctionne votre île. Ce n’est absolument pas mon intention. Je pense que ce qui m’a fait réagir, c’est surtout lorsque j’ai eu l’impression d’être présenté comme quelqu’un qui allait simplement « prendre » quelque chose aux Réunionnais. Je comprends maintenant beaucoup mieux ce que vous voulez dire derrière cette expression : évidemment que ma famille aura besoin d’un logement, d’un travail, utilisera les infrastructures et occupera une certaine place dans un territoire qui connaît déjà des difficultés. Je ne peux pas faire comme si cela n’avait aucun impact. Mais j’aimerais aussi qu’on fasse une distinction entre avoir un impact et avoir l’intention de prendre quelque chose à quelqu’un. Je ne viens pas avec l’idée de prendre la place d’un Réunionnais. Je viens essayer de construire une vie pour ma famille. À terme, j’aimerais également créer quelque chose par moi-même, notamment dans la restauration, avec l’idée que cela puisse éventuellement créer des emplois plutôt que simplement en prendre. Je comprends aussi parfaitement l’argument du « imagine si 10 000 familles faisaient la même chose ». Évidemment que cela poserait un énorme problème. Je ne cherche pas à prétendre que toutes les personnes qui arrivent de l’extérieur sont automatiquement une richesse pour le territoire. Je suis simplement convaincu qu’on ne peut pas non plus connaître les intentions, les projets ou la manière d’agir d’une personne avant de l’avoir rencontrée. Et c’est probablement là que certaines de mes réponses précédentes étaient maladroites : je cherchais des solutions et des alternatives parce que j’ai réellement envie de réussir mon installation, pas parce que je voulais minimiser les difficultés que vous vivez. Je ne demande pas qu’on nous accueille les bras ouverts sans aucune réserve. Je comprends même que certains d’entre vous puissent être méfiants ou fatigués de voir arriver de nouvelles personnes. J’espère simplement qu’on pourra aussi nous laisser la possibilité de montrer par nos actes qui nous sommes. Nous voulons vivre, travailler, apprendre, découvrir la culture, respecter les habitants et nous intégrer autant que possible. Et s’il y a des choses que nous devons comprendre ou apprendre, je suis sincèrement prêt à écouter. Je viens moi-même d’une famille qui a ses racines dans un petit village de Roumanie où il n’y avait pratiquement rien. Et parfois, c’est assez étrange pour moi de me retrouver considéré comme « métropolitain » d’un côté et comme « étranger » de l’autre. Je ne dis pas ça pour comparer nos situations, mais simplement pour expliquer pourquoi cette question d’appartenance et le fait d’être considéré comme un problème avant même d’avoir fait quoi que ce soit me touchent particulièrement. Je comprends aujourd’hui beaucoup mieux pourquoi certains Réunionnais peuvent ressentir les choses ainsi. Et je suis désolé si mes réactions précédentes ont donné l’impression que je rejetais vos expériences. Je ne prétends pas que nous n’aurons aucun impact. Je voudrais simplement avoir la chance de faire en sorte que cet impact soit positif. Dans quelques années, certains penseront peut-être toujours que nous n’avions rien à faire ici. D’autres nous considéreront peut-être comme faisant réellement partie de la communauté. J’aimerais simplement que ce soient nos actes, notre comportement et notre respect du territoire qui permettent de répondre à cette question, et pas uniquement notre origine. Merci en tout cas à ceux qui ont pris le temps de me répondre, même lorsque vous n’étiez pas d’accord avec moi. J’ai beaucoup appris de cette discussion. Et à ceux qui nous ont déjà souhaité la bienvenue : merci sincèrement. Ça compte beaucoup pour moi. ❤️ Dans un mois, La Réunion. 🇷🇪🌴

Hello,

M26 looking for a place to stay in alcobendas or a 20 min drive away, for me my wife and my 1 year old daughter. I have gotten a work oppertunity. I have worked and lived there before so i know how hard the home market is, but maybe there is someone on this platform that thinks i am suitable to rent from them as it happend before. I want to try to stay between 1000 and 1300 euros max. If anyone has any advice for places to look at. Most places ask 2 month pay slip, but i am moving from belgium and can only show my contract and the previous payslips when i worked there a year ago.

Thanks

Hello everyone,

I'm a 26-year-old father from Belgium, and over the last few years I've been thinking seriously about moving abroad to build a better future for myself and my young daughter.

I was born and raised in Belgium, but my mother is from another country. Growing up between two cultures created a lot of identity conflicts, and I've never really felt like Belgium was truly home. Because of that, I've been searching for a country where I can genuinely build a life and feel like I belong.

Canada has always been one of the countries that interested me because of its multicultural society, beautiful nature, and reputation for being welcoming. I enjoy an active lifestyle, love the outdoors, and I'm looking for a place where I can work hard, contribute to society, and raise my daughter in a safe environment.

I know no country is perfect, so I'm not looking for people to convince me to move there. I'd simply like honest opinions from people who actually live in Canada.

Do you think Canada is still a good place to build a long-term future?

Which provinces or cities would you recommend for someone looking for job opportunities, safety, affordability, and a good quality of life?

How is life for young families?

What are the biggest downsides that foreigners often don't realize before moving?

I'd really appreciate honest answers, whether they're positive or negative. Thank you for taking the time to read my post!

Hello everyone,

I'm a 26-year-old father from Belgium, and lately I've been questioning where I truly belong.

My mother is Romanian, from Hodora, and I still have some family around Iași. I was born and raised in Belgium, but growing up I spent almost every summer in Romania with my mother's family. Romania has always been part of my life, even if I never really felt like I belonged there.

My mother used to tell me that when she was young she wanted to leave Romania so badly that she would marry the first person who could take her away. That's basically what happened. She married my Belgian father, but they separated before I was born.

I did know my biological father, but he already had his own family and several children. We were never very close, and he passed away at a relatively young age. Because of that, I was raised almost entirely by my mother and her side of the family.

My mother raised me in French, so unfortunately I barely speak Romanian. I understand basic conversations, but I can't really hold one. Even though I grew up surrounded by Romanian traditions, food, music, holidays and family gatherings, I was the only child in the family who couldn't speak Romanian because my mother was the only one who married a Belgian. That often made me feel like an outsider, even within my own family, and over the years I lost contact with almost everyone.

Growing up in Belgium, I mostly lived in neighbourhoods with many immigrant families. Even though I was born here, I've often felt like I was seen as "the foreigner" rather than simply Belgian. Maybe some of that feeling comes from me, maybe some from my environment, but it's something I've struggled with for a long time.

My mother also always told me that there was no future for me in Romania, so I never seriously considered moving there. I believed I wasn't Romanian enough anyway.

Now I have a young daughter, and more than anything I want to build a stable life somewhere that feels like home. Somewhere I can contribute to society, raise my daughter in a good environment, and reconnect with the country that has always been part of my life.

So I'd like to ask the people who actually live in Romania:

Could someone like me realistically build a good life there?

Which cities or regions would you recommend for work, family life and quality of life?

Do you think someone with Romanian roots who grew up abroad would generally be accepted, or would I always be seen as someone from outside?

I'm not looking for people to tell me what I want to hear. I'd genuinely appreciate honest opinions—the good, the bad and everything in between.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Hi everyone,

I'm a Belgian father in my late 20s and I'm seriously considering seeing how life would be if i move to Réunion with my partner and our young daughter within the next few years.

I've spent a lot of time researching the island and from the outside it seems almost too good to be true: French infrastructure, European standards, tropical climate, mountains, ocean, outdoor sports, multicultural society and a strong sense of community.

I would love to hear from people who actually grew up on Réunion or have lived there for many years.

What was it like growing up on the island?

Did you enjoy your childhood there?

How are the schools and opportunities for children?

Is it a good place for a family long-term?

What are the biggest advantages and disadvantages that outsiders don't see?

Do many young people stay on the island or move away?

How safe does daily life feel?

For my situation:

I'm Belgian.

I speak French, English and Dutch.

I'm training to become an electrician.

My partner works as a barista and hopes to eventually open her own café.

I love outdoor activities, hiking, paragliding, martial arts (especially BJJ) and adventure.

Our main goal is to build a beautiful life for our daughter in a safe environment.

Do you think Réunion is a good place for someone like me to build a permanent life and raise a family?

I'd especially appreciate honest answers from people who grew up there, including things you love and things you wish people knew before moving.

Feel free to answer in french , i grew up on the dutch side of belgium with a french speaking mother so i speak and understand but cant write and thats why this post was in english.

Thank you!