u/Afterflorals

He told me to touch myself

I (27 f) have initiated intimacy with my husband (34 m) and every single time, he rejected me.
He has even rejected kisses and hugs as well.

A few days ago, I told him about how much it hurt me. He blamed me, dismissed me claiming I want to start a fight.. it went on for two days..

“Go to another man” (it hurt the most)
“Wrong time”
“Wrong way of asking”
“Your daughter is here aren’t you even ashamed?!”

In the end he gave me an answer making it seem like it will change.

It didn’t 💔

He only does quickies.. once he’s done, he washes up and leaves me on the bed. The only thing that changed is that he started giving me one more second before penetration because when I spoke to him about it I told him it hurts, because he used to rush in.

Today, I initiated for the first time after speaking about it.

His answer..

“I know what you want. I can’t”
“Buy a toy from temu and watch a video”

… my husband. A man. Asked me to touch myself.

So for the first time instead of trying to talk and understand, I went to the bathroom. And helped myself as he told me. But it’s nothing like being in his arms.. he doesn’t understand that I want him. I want my husband 💔

I have lost weight. Changed my hair color. Bought new clothes. Cut my bangs. I’ve tried everything. I’ve blamed myself. But now, it seems like it isn’t me…

What do i do?

I (27 f) have initiated intimacy with my husband (34 m) and every single time, he rejected me.
He has even rejected kisses and hugs as well.

A few days ago, I told him about how much it hurt me. He blamed me, dismissed me claiming I want to start a fight.. it went on for two days..

“Go to another man” (it hurt the most)
“Wrong time”
“Wrong way of asking”
“Your daughter is here aren’t you even ashamed?!”

In the end he gave me an answer making it seem like it will change.

It didn’t 💔

He only does quickies.. once he’s done, he washes up and leaves me on the bed. The only thing that changed is that he started giving me one more second before penetration because when I spoke to him about it I told him it hurts, because he used to rush in.

Today, I initiated for the first time after speaking about it.

His answer..

“I know what you want. I can’t”
“Buy a toy from temu and watch a video”

… my husband. A man. Asked me to touch myself.

So for the first time instead of trying to talk and understand, I went to the bathroom. And helped myself as he told me. But it’s nothing like being in his arms.. he doesn’t understand that I want him. I want my husband 💔

I have lost weight. Changed my hair color. Bought new clothes. Cut my bangs. I’ve tried everything. I’ve blamed myself. But now, it seems like it isn’t me…

I’m completely stumped and hoping someone has run into this before.
I have a Reolink E1 (E320) camera. On my iPhone 15 Plus, the Talk button is completely missing from Live View, so I can’t use two-way audio at all.
The weird part is that my husband has the exact same Reolink account, the same camera, and the same app version (4.60.4.3) on his iPhone, and the Talk button is there and works perfectly.
So far I’ve tried:
Deleting and reinstalling the Reolink app.
Making sure the app is fully up to date.
Checking that the camera firmware is up to date.
Confirming the camera pans and tilts normally.
Checking that the camera’s microphone opening isn’t blocked or dirty.
One thing I noticed is that Reolink has never asked for microphone permission on my iPhone. There’s no Reolink microphone permission in Settings > Privacy & Security > Microphone or in the app’s settings because it never requested access.
Since everything works on another iPhone with the same account and camera, it seems like something is wrong specifically on my iPhone or with how the app is behaving on it.
Has anyone experienced this before or found a fix? I’d really appreciate any ideas because I’m out of things to try.

I recently got married to someone my family didn’t approve of.
It wasn’t an easy decision. After I got married, my family cut me off. None of them talks to me anymore. The only exceptions are two of my cousins, but even they have to hide it because their father, my uncle,tried to stop me from getting married and doesn’t know they still keep in touch with me.
I was never anyone’s favorite in the family, but I was never this alone either. I used to see them on weekends and holidays. Even if things weren’t perfect, I still had people around me. I didn’t realize how much that mattered until it was gone.
Recently, my two best friends also left the country. They’re spending time with their families now, which makes sense, and I’m happy for them. But it also means that on my days off, it’s just me. I stay home, do the laundry, clean, cook, and wait for the day to pass. Then my husband comes home. There isn’t much we do together, and I assume he’s too tired to go out after work.
Because I work in retail, I don’t get regular weekends off. I usually arrange my schedule so I work a closing shift on Friday and a morning shift on Saturday. That gives me Saturday afternoon and evening free. I thought I’d finally have time to enjoy… but enjoy it with who?
The hobbies I used to love don’t bring me the same joy anymore. My family is gone. My closest friends are gone. My husband usually spends time with his friends. I’ve been trying to make new friends, but that takes time, especially with my personality. I don’t open up easily, and real friendships don’t happen overnight.
So most of the time, I’m just alone.
More than anything, I wish I could spend quality time with my husband. I don’t need anything extravagant. I just want to feel like we’re building a life together. But he often seems too tired, or maybe he just doesn’t enjoy spending that kind of time together the way I do.
We’re also planning what I consider our honeymoon. I’m taking 30 days off work, but he’s only taking 15 because he doesn’t want to be away from work for that long. I understand that work is important, but part of me can’t help feeling disappointed. It feels like I gave up my family, my support system, and pieces of myself to build this new life with him, yet I’m still spending so much of it alone.
The hardest part is that when I try to talk about how lonely I am, he thinks I’m trying to guilt-trip him. That’s never been my intention. I’m not trying to make him feel bad. I’m trying to tell the one person I have left that I’m hurting.
Sometimes I feel ashamed of myself. I wonder if he thinks I’m a loser because I don’t have people to go out with or exciting plans on my days off. I know that’s probably my own insecurity talking, but it’s hard not to feel that way when you’re sitting alone, week after week.
I miss having people. I miss feeling like I belong somewhere , I miss myself too.