u/Aggravating_Lack7647

I’ve been struggling from self harm for two years. I do it when I’m overwhelmed, but when there are no stuff to hurt myself with I would hit myself and pinch my skin. Last year I felt so ugly to the point I cut myself even at school. First few months of 2026 I had stopped. I started wearing makeup and lost a shit ton of weight, but now I’ve fallen back into this shithole after gaining weight and turning ugly again. I absolutely hate myself for it. My family keeps feeding me junk and if this continues I fear for my own safety. My recent cuts have been deeper and have taken longer to heal. I’m scared. Very much. I don’t want to be fat and ugly again.

I've recently come across a website that was commented by another user in this sub. And I went on it. And genuinely so many of them were autoerotic deaths. How do people find sexual arousal in getting tied up or any sort of gruesome position? I'm not entirely sure what the term "autoerotic" means but I searched it up and tried understanding it. But yeah, I just find it stupid that they'll tie themselves up and when they die they're just positioned like that.

I’ve cut myself again. I hate myself sm.