u/Aggressive-Truth-476

I do really like my NF. I’ve been employed with them for 4 years, 3 kids (4 y/o twins and a 1 y/o), and we have a very good relationship. In the past I experienced a little hostileness from MB, which she then actually addressed and said she was jealous of my relationship with the kids, and we had a solid chat, and things were on the up and up. But as of late, I’ve been really irked by something. Part of me thinks I’m overreacting but I’ve confided in a few friends and they think I’m totally valid but I thought this thread was a good spot to vent and get thoughts. Some context of the situation. I am a full time nanny with them. I am a professional career nanny who has done this for 10+ years now. I’m with NKs mon-fri 8am-5pm. The kids adore me. Cry when I leave sometimes and are very bonded to me. Sometimes I do weekends/overnights which I’ve done many times up to 10 days in a row. They are no screen time. I take the kids to activities, I do drop offs and pickups from school on the days the twins go, I travel with them on all trips (in country out of country road trips you name it), I run errands weekly, cook, I clean the house every single day (tidying, dishes, laundry, vacuuming/mopping, sometimes even dusting, helping reorganize etc). MB works from home, DB works out of home. MB is self employed with a very relaxed schedule and she’s often doing leisure things outside of working. Usually I leave the house sparkling and come back to it a mess, which is not my issue whatsoever. So now is the conundrum. I recently was traveling with them and we had a visit to a few different groups of their friends, this is where it was very prominent but I’ve been in the same situation with their local friends as well. They sat in the groups and talked about their life as if they did not have someone caring for their children 9.5 hours a day, 5 days a week aomtimes more and doing literally everything for them. MB and DB said having 3 kids is so much work, traveling is so rough for them, they can never get out and do stuff, that their house is always a mess and they always have so much to clean, they always have so much to do and errands to run, that they’re always running around with the kids getting them where they need to be. I’m not saying that they’re not good parents, they are phenomenal parents with their kids. What I am saying though, is I feel like it’s quite shite to sit at the dinner table saying all these things while the person who takes care of their kids as if they’re my own, cleans their house spotless every day and makes sure their errands are run, everyone’s at everything on time, cares for the kids from 5am on trips, and just does everything for them sits right there. Im sure they do a lot of things as well and I’m not trying to discredit them, but they’re most definitely not cleaning, worrying about schedules and things during the week, or having cumbersome travel, except maybe packing their suitcases. But then the part that really bothered me. DB has a family member out of state that is a nanny. MB was talking about her and mentioned that “__ doesn’t have a job so her spouse is the working one”. I assumed that ___ had stopped nannying and didn’t think anything of it, until two days later, we’re all chatting and MB goes to call this family member and then says oh she’s nannying she can’t answer. So most definitely does have a job and MB just completely discredited her nannying as a job . I just felt incredibly beaten, I do everything for this family and make their life so easy, and then they speak as though I’m nonexistent. It’s a dilemma because I do like them a lot and they treat me mostly very well, despite not acknowledging just how much I do for them.