u/AggressiveExcuses

Man that title makes me sound like the AH. Using a throwaway so this doesn’t come back on me. I (38F) have had custody of 2/3 of my nieces (17 and 21) for the past five years. I have the oldest two, and the youngest (14F) still lives with my sister (42F) and BIL (43M).

The two oldest were kicked out five years ago because they ‘complained too much’, and did what normal sisters do. They fought. I got a call asking if I would take them and here we are today. I have done and paid for everything. School clothes, allowance, gas money, school supplies, prom dresses, graduation dresses, and anything else you can think of. My 21 year old niece moved out 2 years ago and is living on her own a state away. Clear across the country from her parents.

My sister is coming up in May for the 17 year olds graduation. My sister wants to take the 17 year old to the 21 year olds house after she graduates so that the three sisters can all be together for the first time in two years. The last time they were together was when I paid to have the youngest flown to my house during Christmas before the oldest moved out. I have paid for nearly every vacation for the girls. Flown them to see their parents and sister, paid for gas and food to drive to where their parents live. Put us up in hotels. Literally anything you can think of has come out of my bank account.

The dilemma is my sister thinks I should take the weekend off and pick up my 17 year old niece from her sisters house. That is a ten hour car ride one way (so 20 to get there and back home). There is no local airport to just have her fly home. I said no. Now I’m the AH. My sister told me I was being unreasonable. My youngest niece is upset that I won’t do it. The 17 year old feels like I could make time.

What is worse is I already planned a trip next month for the 17 year old and I to travel to where her parents live to spend a week there with them. But I’m the AH because I won’t do this last minute 20 hour car ride for the girls to all be together. I suggested my sister just bring her back here and I was met with every excuse imaginable. She’s too broke, she doesn’t have the extra time off work, and so on.

AITAH or am I fair in saying no this one time?

Using a throwaway so this doesn’t come back on me. I (38F) have had custody of 2/3 of my nieces (17 and 21) for the past five years. I have the oldest two, and the youngest (14F) still lives with my sister (42F) and BIL (43M).

The two oldest were kicked out five years ago because they ‘complained too much’, and did what normal sisters do. They fought. I got a call asking if I would take them and here we are today. I have done and paid for everything. School clothes, allowance, gas money, school supplies, prom dresses, graduation dresses, and anything else you can think of. My 21 year old niece moved out 2 years ago and is living on her own a state away. Clear across the country from her parents.

My sister is coming up in May for the 17 year olds graduation. My sister wants to take the 17 year old to the 21 year olds house after she graduates so that the three sisters can all be together for the first time in two years. The last time they were together was when I paid to have the youngest flown to my house during Christmas before the oldest moved out. I have paid for nearly every vacation for the girls. Flown them to see their parents and sister, paid for gas and food to drive to where their parents live. Put us up in hotels. Literally anything you can think of has come out of my bank account.

The dilemma is my sister thinks I should take the weekend off and pick up my 17 year old niece from her sisters house. That is a ten hour car ride one way (so 20 to get there and back home). There is no local airport to just have her fly home. I said no. Now I’m the AH. My sister told me I was being unreasonable. My youngest niece is upset that I won’t do it. The 17 year old feels like I could make time.

What is worse is I already planned a trip next month for the 17 year old and I to travel to where her parents live to spend a week there with them. But I’m the AH because I won’t do this last minute 20 hour car ride for the girls to all be together. I suggested my sister just bring her back here and I was met with every excuse imaginable. She’s too broke, she doesn’t have the extra time off work, and so on.