Lies, addiction, emotional/mental betrayal. I'm at a total loss. 3 weeks ago my life felt PERFECT.
"My husband had two addictions (hid both) in 1 year, he started abusing benzos a year ago, he told me this past Dec, I kept it to myself and helped him safely taper down off. Les than 1 month from being clean off benzos he started using and abusing opiates and during this time he also started using porn more frequently as he was having ED due to the opiates and it was easier to self gratify then be intimate with his wife. We are still having sex since it all came to light 2 weeks ago. 1 week on meds. I also discovered while he was in a 3 day detox a couple of weeks ago that for the last 2 years he has literally had a completely secret identity online between Reddit and discord, the communities I found him following were absolutely disgusting and disturbing, the videos of "corn" he had saved!!!! my once sweet and extremely humble husband was posting pictures of himself and his transformation after losing a ton of weight with my help, asking if he was hot yet seeking attention from other women and seeking other women, even if to look at or gratify himself to through the communities that he was joining some of which were extremely upsetting and off putting to me, should I not be intimate with him right now and I feeding this "dopamine" tilt since he isn't actively using? Am I just his new and I guess previous addiction dopamine hit/fix or fascination??"