u/Agitated-Year-7460

Well I think it’s about time for me to hit the ole recovery center. Not much else for me to do at the moment, was clean for a month and then ended up doing 12 grams of blow over the weekend. Gave it my best shot to get better on my own but I admit my defeat, I will go get help. Hopefully this place has Diet Coke and Doritos lol. I’m sort of excited to go, it has to beat what I’m currently up to. Such a shame that I took it this far at 20 years old but I really didn’t think I could be this stupid, I think I overachieved that expectation 🤣. Nevertheless I did this bs once again and only this time I don’t have anyone by my side because I shut you all out. You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit is something I actually say a lot, how ironic. Just wanted to throw this out there for anyone who might be afraid to call it quits and get some help. I know my people don’t want me in their lives anymore but I love them unconditionally and full heartedly. 🫤 wish me luck!

With shame, your Addict, liar, manipulating narcissistic boy

I’ve never made a post before, due to personal circumstances next week will be the nail in the coffin for getting karma. Next week will be the worst because I’ve never been in the position I’m about to be in. Nobody there to save me, nobody there to comfort me, lend a helping hand. Just like I used to always want it ironically. Final test of character for this particular chapter of my life. When I make it through this humbling/ grounding obstacle I will be that much more prepared and experienced to take the next one on. It will be so embarrassing for my ego and pride but that’s just the kind of thing to kill the infection I inflict on my loved ones. If you even have Reddit and somehow someway read this, do yourself a favor and don’t get lost in these groups. No matter where you look and how deep into the rabbit hole you go, you’ll say “omg that sounds just like us” it’s these people’s hobby and jobs. You’ll know it’s me because you know me it’s legit that simple. So if you stumble upon this, I’ll tell you a little story from today briefly. Hook line and sinker I would have bet every penny it was you, so after couple other delirious theories that I somehow thought made sense, I have been on my balcony hoping some of the things that person said would lead you here. About 30 minutes ago I snapped out of this wonderland I thought up and none of it actually mattered. Cause how would I know It’s you if I don’t know you anymore? Anywho I’m gonna sit on this balcony for a little longer……why? Cause I’m a hopeless romantic. This love I am able to provide will find its way to whatever is right for me. Maybe it’s you maybe it’s not but I was excited today at the thought of this delusion I had to have make up. I will stay where I’m at until I cannot and hopefully by then maybe I right a wrong maybe even two. If not at least I can’t disappointn you more than I have. I love you more and I’m sorry I didn’t say it back that day, I always think about that.

Sincerely-your biggest fan