u/AgitatedInfluence630

So i made this a little hobby of mine, right before sleeping, and when i put my head on my pillow, i just close my eyes and doze off, but before sleeping i just let my brain generate images for me to watch before i sleep, the images look so real like watching a 4k tv, could be anything a car a nice sunset, food etc, and sometimes i choose to control what i see, and other times i manifest these shapes at will and 100% sober. I know they're related to psychedelic trips, and i personally believe that they have something to do with the universe.

So my question is, is it normal to see these shapes when closing your eyes and being sober?

It seems that the universe has been lately throwing at me people who wanna mess with me, and my energy and wellbeing, although in the past this would've stressed me out or overwhelmed me, now i feel the opposite, i feel like i wanna fight fire with fire, i wanna tell people off, and tell people to go f**k themselves when it's necessary to do so, i also feel like im surrounded by enemies and people who wanna do me harm, and each and every time my gut feelings tell me about someone it turns out absolutely right. But at the same time it's baffling how many betrayals i had to endure by people i trusted.

I was eavesdropping at the conversation my roommate was having with the new roommate, and he literally mentioned my deadname to him, this is the same guy who before he knew i was trans, couldn't even look me in the eyes when talking to me, and would get super nervous around me, and would find any excuse to text me or call me on the phone, then once i received mail one day, and it had my deadname on it, then i told him im trans and he changed his behavior, suddenly now he would look me straight in the eye 👁 👁 as if looking into my soul, he would also act weird and do petty things like leaving the floor dirty whenever I'd bring a guest home. Now i found out that he refers to me as my fucking deadname to my new roommate who didn't know i was trans. Probably out of pettiness and jealousy. Ugh, im tired of cis people. This is why i can't wait for the day when I'll be able to change my name officially. This is why i always emphasize on stealth.