Hopeless love
I’m only 18 but so far I can only think of this one girl that I’ve dated back in middle school… it was short mostly because I got kicked out of my school (not important why…) we haven’t spoken much after that, but after a year or so she contacted me and we started talking again but mostly about personal life and what we thought about us.
Eventually she got into a new relationship and it went well for her… for a while, one day she decided to visit me unexpectedly, ofc she texted me but I mean I didn’t know she wanted to come outa nowhere. When she came we mostly talked and she talked about her relationship and I don’t feel great hearing about it… it’s not like I’m going to say something about it tho i enjoy letting her yap and stuff but the things she tells me about her exs and having yk grossed me out and honesty hurts me deeply… I try to act interested but whatever.
We did some things together that I didn’t mind at the time but she was still in a relationship. I felt bad at first but for how much I really liked this girl… I didn’t care after a while. Some nights she would invite me over so we would sleep together and everything, but after a while she stopped it and instead focused in her relationship. Fast forward a couple of months she told me she broke up with her boyfriend and moved out of her parents house… i was completely paranoid that she had no place to live or job but she had some nice peoples who took her in so that was chill but still after high school then what? All I can think about is her now, what she’s doing or where’s she’s at.
She came not to long ago to visit again but it seemed odd… she told me about her day and it started with her now ex boyfriend catching her with another dude having yk recorded on her phone. He got pissed and decided to cut ties like that I guess, she said not in a relationship wise. She told me she asked everyone she knew if she they wanted to hang out but she was also crying because of what just happened, so everyone declined her offer so she resorted to the last person… me.
I ofc said yeah come over and she did but I just felt kinda bad that I’m always the last resort to when something is going bad… and it always resort to me begging for attention/cuddling up with her blah blah. When she left I felt good that I got to spend time with her again… but after a day or two I started to pice everything she told me, and I know that she doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore… I know I should have stopped craving for her for attention from the start but I felt safe with her I guess…
she’s the only one who knew what I like and didn’t like. Anyways… I don’t know what to feel or do about this… I don’t talk to much people but her and my family so I feel pathetic even staying for this long. Knowing from the start when we stopped dating she was with someone else.
I just wanted to share my story and get some thoughts of if I’m a dumb ass.😭