u/Agreeable-Bad-1325

My sweet boy would have been 9 years old in June, the same month I’m due to give birth. I had him since I was 17 and he went through all of the best and worst things in my life with me, he was the one constant, the one thing I could always rely on. He had just had his yearly checkup a month prior and seemed totally healthy. He had hemangiosarcoma which is a completely asymptomatic type of cancer that is pretty much undetectable unless they have a scan, or until the tumors burst… He had a massive tumor on his spleen that burst and then we found out within the day that the tumors had spread to his other organs and the internal bleeding was happening too fast… He seemed so happy and healthy and the next day just rapidly declined and I had to put him to sleep. I see it in my head every day, I held him until he was gone and I just constantly see his lifeless body in my head… I’m 8 months pregnant and I’m so heartbroken he won’t be here for my first baby.. Days like today when I have to be at home alone it hits me the hardest, I just can’t cope with the fact that I will never see him again. My heart has never felt so broken in my entire life and I’ve never missed someone so much… I just want my best friend back, life just isn’t the same without him here.😭💔

For me it’s “oh you’re really waddling now” “look at that waddle hehehe”

And it’s all women at work too, the men don’t dare to make fun of me lmfao. Like yes bitch, I’m waddling. I’m 7 fucking months pregnant, my knees feel like they’re giving out, my sciatic nerve is trying to kill me, and I have a fat baby head on my bladder. BUT PLEASE KEEP GIGGLING AT MY WADDLE🥲

Sorry ahead of time this is going to be long and if you take the time to read it all, thank you…

I have two “best friends”. They live 2.5 hours away. Whenever they need me for something or having anything going on in their lives I show up for them. Even if I don’t have the money for the trip, even if it inconveniences me, I always show up for them. Yet they can never show up for me. And it’s been this way since before I was pregnant but now it’s just hitting me so much harder. They call themselves my not yet born son’s “aunties” yet neither of them have showed up once throughout my entire pregnancy and I have 2 months left.

When I had my gender reveal, both of them came up with last minute excuses not to come, I let it go.

And now I’ve just had my baby shower and BOTH of them came up with bullshit excuses and didn’t bother telling me they weren’t coming until the day before and a few days before. Mind you I just had to put down my dog who was my everything, I’ve just finished my last classes in college, just had to deal with court with my fiancés ex. I feel like I’ve needed them more than ever.

One of them had to last minute “watch her mom’s pets” and it’s been “planned for months”. I saw her the day before she told me this (the only time she’s seen me throughout my pregnancy) because I stopped by her house while I was in town for court. Then the next day she texts me right after court to tell me she wasn’t coming to my baby shower and that was why. When she could have easily told me in person the night before.

The other one messaged me literally the day before so I got to wake up to the message before work and bawl my eyes out with bullshit excuses about her anxiety over traveling that she couldn’t make it. That she is “finally making progress and doesn’t want to set herself back by taking a big trip, so she can be better for when my baby is here to be his aunty and blah blah blah”. Her boyfriend had already gotten them a hotel and planned to bring her, same thing he did for my gender reveal. But she just decided not to come. And has not once seen me throughout my pregnancy.

Is it an over reaction to not want them to be a part of my son’s life? I’m tired of them letting me down and I don’t want my baby to experience that. The one that couldn’t come because she “had to watch her moms pets” expects me to come be a bridesmaid in her wedding next month while I’m 36 weeks pregnant and really can’t afford the trip, also the stress of going into early labor almost 3 hours away from my doctor; and at this point I just don’t even want to go anymore. I’m so tired of going out of my way to show up when they won’t. Is that reasonable?? Am