Hi guys, I have an overdue eye test that needs to be done. Because I work in the NHS, I can get a free eye test with vision express. But I want to be able to get glasses for a very good deal as well and I know with the prescription, I can take it anywhere to get the glasses done. Any recommendations? In total I don’t wanna spend more than £50, ideally a lot less than that though.
Hi guys, I’m 30f I don’t have any kids and I’m not married.
I work in finance and I earn just under £200k. My aunt in Africa wants me to help fund her daughter’s studies in the UK for university. I explained to her that it’s not something I’m willing to do, but I can instead offer my Home during the summer break as somewhere for her daughter to stay rent free. She explains that her daughter is studying computer science and when she graduates and gets a job, she can financially pay some back.
I explained to her that it’s just something I don’t have the capacity for, and closed the conversation.
Now my parents and the rest of my family are calling me selfish and that I don’t want my Cousin to succeed. They explain that I don’t have kids of my own so I have less responsibilities and more free income, so I should be willing to help.
For context, I’m born and raised in London and grew up working class/benefits to immigrant parents. I worked hard and struggled ALOT to get to the position I am today, with no help at all from my parents/family. My cousin has two alive and able bodied parents, her mum (my aunt) was a SAHM for over a decade before I guess they decided that they want their 4 kids to go to school abroad and thus started a business. Her father who was a lawyer was made redundant during covid, and now helps out in their family business.
My argument is that it’s not fair on me and nor is it my responsibility to provide for another persons child, family or not. But at the same time I don’t want to be isolated from my family or in bad terms. I don’t know how to navigate this, as ridiculous as this sounds. Being the first in your family to get paid serious money comes with a lot of issues.
I’d appreciate any advice.
UPDATE:
Thank you so much for all your advice, I really appreciate it. Especially the ones from other people in similar situations.
To answer some recurring questions in the comments:
This is on my mum side, my mum is 1 of 10 siblings. The aunt in question is the youngest child. I’ve only met my cousin twice, both on holiday to Nigeria, briefly so I don’t really know her well.
It’s an undergraduate degree, in Scotland non RG. They are desperate to get her to start this October. Had a family meeting with my aunt, her husband and my parents and according to my aunt, my uncle/ their older brother in the USA has agreed to help them and now my cousins student visa has been approved. (I don’t know how that worked, and tbh I think they’re keeping some information from me)
They want me to now only help with the maintenance expenses (rent/travel/food etc) and the plan is my cousin will get a part time job once she arrives to help. I politely refused as I don’t wanna be responsible for another person’s well-being and agreed to instead give an upfront £5k gift, to help her settle in as it’s her first year. She will stay with my aunt and her family (my mum’s cousin) in Edinburgh during the summer time. (I spoke to my friend who has done something similar and she explained how risky and overexposed I will be letting someone I don’t know live with me. It’s better if it’s a family home)
Regarding salary - I don’t tell anyone about my salary, never bragged and I’m not a flashy person at all. I do travel a lot and drive a decent car. And with LinkedIn and having family members on social media, it doesn’t take long to know when someone is comfortable. I’ve now silently removed a lot of my extended family members from my instagram.
A few questions about career, i studied accounting and finance at uni, 6 months after graduating I got a graduate analyst role at ManGroup. I no longer work there but I had a decent career trajectory since.
Sorry, but I don’t know how to feel about this hiatus thing. Because of one hand, yes, I hope Sophia gets the help she needs and comes back stronger. From one human being to another. But on the other hand, I can’t help look past the way she and the other girls treated Manon, when manon was going through a mental health crisis. I feel they were really unfair to her and were bullying/ganging up on her. And Sophia, who was the same age as her at the time I felt she should’ve been more mature and empathetic than she was. Mental health is not new, especially amongst the younger generation. The lack of consideration and empathy just makes me feel like she’s a mean person. And yeah, she’s probably grown from that moment as you do when you go through life and eventually mature. And most probably now that she’s going through her own mental health issues/ADHD/maybe burnout, she realises how helpful it is to have team members that allow her to take those breaks and recuperate, instead of forcing her to come and train ‘that is not fair that she keeps taking time out’ or label her as ‘lazy’. Life is the best teacher as they say. I also don’t like how when manon took hiatus it was treated so casually by hxg and the other team members, very passive aggressive, fake media chat energy. Honestly, a lot of things about this group just screams toxic. And I don’t understand it because being in a girl group is a Job at the end of the day, you don’t have to be friends but you just have to get along and give each other basic respect and I feel like a lot of these girls are too young to understand that or maybe that their wealthy background sheltered them from having the life experience to see that. Also the way katseye fans are all of a sudden empathetic to Sophia having a hiatus and having a mental health crisis, but when it was manon they were tearing manon down. Vvery disgusting behaviour!
Sorry, but I don’t know how to feel about this hiatus thing. Because of one hand, yes, I hope Sophia gets the help she needs and comes back stronger. From one human being to another. But on the other hand, I can’t help look past the way she and the other girls treated Manon, when manon was going through a mental health crisis. I feel they were really unfair to her and were bullying/ganging up on her. And Sophia, who was the same age as her at the time I felt she should’ve been more mature and empathetic than she was. Mental health is not new, especially amongst the younger generation. The lack of consideration and empathy just makes me feel like she’s a mean person. And yeah, she’s probably grown from that moment as you do when you go through life and eventually mature. And most probably now that she’s going through her own mental health issues/ADHD/maybe burnout, she realises how helpful it is to have team members that allow her to take those breaks and recuperate, instead of forcing her to come and train ‘that is not fair that she keeps taking time out’ or label her as ‘lazy’. Life is the best teacher as they say. I also don’t like how when manon took hiatus it was treated so casually by hxg and the other team members, very passive aggressive, fake media chat energy. Honestly, a lot of things about this group just screams toxic. And I don’t understand it because being in a girl group is a Job at the end of the day, you don’t have to be friends but you just have to get along and give each other basic respect and I feel like a lot of these girls are too young to understand that or maybe that their wealthy background sheltered them from having the life experience to see that. Also the way katseye fans are all of a sudden empathetic to Sophia having a hiatus and having a mental health crisis, but when it was manon they were tearing manon down. Vvery disgusting behaviour!