moving into my second year of college. my friend group is fairly small, and consists of myself and about maybe 10 people from my program. our program is very small, so we make up over half of it. but honestly im starting to hate it.
im the only one in the group that isn't a cisgender guy. not a single one of them has bothered to respect my identity (genderfluid) and they act confused when i talk about being genderfluid. in fact, they laugh about it. on the other hand, they use my sexuality as a joke and think of it as a slur pass. which is the other problem. all of them say so many slurs. literally all of them are white except for a couple, but those two aren't black, so why are we saying the n word every five seconds.
not even we. ive never said these slurs. i stay out of it, and i try to tell them to stop when i can.
when we play video games, they tend to get really mean and they say hurtful things, then brush it off as a joke or just say that they were drunk. none of those things are excuses. they're well aware that they've made me cry numerous times, but ive barely gotten an apology.
they're all not great people, but i can't separate myself from that group. they make up most of the program, and we're in a program that's very reliant on personal connection. any sort of drama will massively impact our education. my friends from outside of college are starting to hate me because i associate with these people, even though i don't do it because i want to, i do it because i genuinely have no choice. and i feel like a terrible person for it. im at the point where i don't know what to do, and im honestly considering dropping out because of all of it. i have a whole year left before graduation, but i don't want people to think im like them, but i don't want the entire program to hate me.