I know my dad wants to kill himself, but i won't tell anyone
To say my dad has had a tough life would be an understatement. He's gone through every awful thing you could think of going through, and despite it, he is still the silliest, the best dad and the most motivating person I know.
He's very open about his struggle with depression as a young man, and sometimes, I get the feeling that it never really went away. He doesn't have many friends, and he works his butt off all day trying to put food on the table. Often, he comes home exhausted and just sits in front of the tv watching comedies, trying to make himself feel better.
A few months ago, I found out my mom cheated on him. I didn't know if I wanted to tell him at first, because I knew he wouldn't take it well, but eventually I decided to. We went on a long walk in which he talked a lot about mistakes he's made in his life, and how he's accepted he wasn't really meant to be happy. At the end of it all, he very calmly explained to me that when and if he got to 70, he planned to take his life.
I was very obviously distraught, and I told him that I loved him and I would always need him around, but some part of understood it was deeper than that. I think that at this point, I've come to terms with it, but the guilt always gets to me. Knowing that I could somehow prevent this, but I won't. Not because I don't love him, and it won't absolutely devastate me when he goes, but precisely the opposite. I want him to have a choice and do something that will bring him peace for once. Even if it means other people will get hurt, I think he deserves this one thing.
Edit: I'm 16