u/Ajey_Benning

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness and I probably only have a year or so left. My son (32M) has been my caretaker these past two years, my daughter (34F) meanwhile is married with 2 kids and lives in a different state. She occasionally visits me once or twice a year.

Normally I would have done it 50-50 for my son and daughter, but my son really has gone above and beyond these past two years, so I’ve been thinking of leaving him about 95% and then leaving 5% to my daughter.

I just think my daughter is set in her life, she’s married and has kids. She might feel hard done by the amount I leave her, but she wasn’t there for me these past couple of years. I don’t blame her for not being there because she has her own life. 5% still leaves her $100k, which isn’t nothing.

My son meanwhile, he’s been unlucky in his romantic life, he’s been cheated on by his ex fiancée, but despite that, he’s still willing shifted jobs to be near me and be my caretaker. I never got the sense that he was angling for the inheritance, he’s never once asked me about it.

I’ve also always felt closer to my son ever since my ex wife cheated on me decades ago. While my daughter was neutral and even had a great relationship with her stepdad who was her mom’s affair partner, my son was the one who was always by my side during that time.

Am I wrong in what I’m doing?

My wife and I got married a couple decades ago. We’re in our 40s now and our 2 kids are both in college. 9 years ago, my wife asked for an open relationship because we had been in a dead bedroom for a couple of years. I was going through a tough time mentally. I was shocked she asked for it but couldn’t really blame her for it so I said sure. My wife opened the relationship for almost 2 years, and then closed the relationship when I got back to normal and when we were no longer in a dead bedroom situation.

It’s been 9 years since, and mentally and physically I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in my life. However, one thing that still bothers me is that open relationship, I understand we were in a dead bedroom and she had to get her needs met, but we were married and I was just going through a low phase. When my wife was pregnant and suffered from PPD, we did not have sex for 2 years, but that was the last thing on my mind and I never thought about opening the relationship.

Lately, I’ve been feeling sexually frustrated and was open with my wife about it. My wife was shocked when I said it and is willing to try anything I want and also have sex a lot more times if I want, we already have sex once a day. I told my wife it’s not about her but that I want to explore around and have my open phase with different women. Admittedly over the past couple of years, I have been getting the most attention I have ever gotten in my life, and a lot of people surprisingly rock with the grey in my beard. I am going on a business trip next month, and in all likelihood something is going to happen on the trip with one of my coworkers I’m close with.

My wife admitted this is by far the most attractive I’ve ever been in my life and it isn’t surprising that I’m getting attention. But she broke down in tears and asked if there’s any way she could satisfy my needs, and that she’d do anything I wanted. I told my wife it isn’t fair she got to have her open phase and I didn’t. I told my wife I need to get this out of my system, and I wouldn’t have felt like this if she had not opened the relationship 9 years ago. I told my wife she doesn’t excite me at all anymore and I’m just not stimulated enough, and I want a fun and wild phase now.

Am I wrong for wanting an open relationship?

12 years ago, I was in a serious accident that resulted in an above the knee amputation. It completely changed my life overnight.

My marriage didn’t survive it. A couple of years after the accident, my wife left me. We had two daughters together, and while my ex wife and I stayed civil, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. About a year later, she remarried. Her husband seems like a decent enough guy, and my daughters ended up getting very close to him. I don’t blame them for that, but it definitely hurt watching someone else step into the role I used to have.

Dating after the divorce was brutal. Between the amputation, the divorce, and my confidence being at rock bottom, I basically gave up. I was fortunate that I work remotely and at Big Tech, so I threw myself into my career instead. I invested, saved aggressively, and over the years I’ve built a very comfortable financial life.

Since I don’t have much tying me down anymore, I’ve spent the last few years traveling all over the world. It’s become the thing I enjoy most.

Recently, both of my daughters, who are now in their late 20s, asked if we could do a big family trip together. They said they miss spending time with me and thought it would be fun. I told them no.

I said if they wanted a family vacation, they should go with their mom and stepdad. I also told them that I don’t want to be taken advantage of again. Maybe that’s unfair, but that’s honestly how I feel. They barely made an effort to be part of my life for years, and now that they see me traveling and doing well financially, suddenly they want to come along. My daughters seemed pretty hurt when I told them they couldn’t come, and I felt a bit bad.

I’ve spent years rebuilding my life after losing my marriage, my confidence, and almost my identity, and I’m protective of the peace I’ve finally found.

Am I wrong for saying no?