u/Akane-chan1204

Tw: Vent/rant , Sorry but i had to explain my situation

I'm a highschooler (18yo) and I have always been a good student, enthusiastic about school and very studious. However, I was too obsessed with grades and being the best (and that was damaging me), so I took a path that changed that for me, that was supposed to take some pressure off me and make me feel more calm about school

However, now it's quite the opposite: everything seems infinitely heavy to me, even the smallest things, and I don't care about anything anymore. I am also in an art high school, but this year I had the enlightenment that i want to be a doctor (so i'll have to go to uni but first i'll have to study even this summer to catch up). The fact is that I have so much anxiety about the final exams, about not being able to do what I want and having to reduce myself to a horrible 9-5 job that pays me nothing and leaves me no free time, and not even getting a pension, that I can't even find the point in trying. I know it sounds too pessimistic, but that seems the situation in Italy currently.

On top of that i'm also very stressed about money, since my mother is taking large sums from me , but when I ask for some to eat out with my Friends, she doesn't give any me.

So these thoughts overwhelm me and these days I can't even get out of bed, I spend all day on social media so I don't cry all the time. My boyfriend is the only one who knows everything, because let's say my family really sucks. So this is affecting also my relationship, because when I feel bad, he ends up feeling bad too

I really want to go back to the determined person I was before and find my motivation again, but I really have no idea how to do that.

Io non fumo, e non riesco proprio a sopportarlo, mi dà veramente fastidio (sigarette normali, elettroniche, puff, iqos, ecc..). Ovviamente le persone possono fumare quanto gli pare, ma che almeno abbiano un minimo di accortezza per le altre persone. Ogni volta che sono a scuola, alla fermata del bus, o in posti leggermente affollati, c'è sempre qualcuno che ha un qualche tipo maledetto di sigaretta e non presta assolutamente attenzione alle altre persone. Anche al chiuso!! No, non puoi fumare le iqos in bus 😭 Certo, quando succede lo dico, ma non dovrebbe proprio nascere questa situazione 🙏🏻