u/Akelarrea_sys

We usually say we're a system of 4 because getting into the nitty-gritty of it isn't usually worth it. However, that number has been outdated for a while but the actual number is hard to calculate precisely due to having a few "Schrodinger's headmates". Usually we only count the host, Athena, Iris and Quinn. Here's where things get complicated:

- We discovered that Quinn was a subsystem due to her being two souls fused together. According to her exomemories, she is made up of a court jester and the fae Queen Titania.

- The Queen, as it turns out, is also a subsystem made up of Titania and Morrigana, who have a more classic DID presentation (the main system is non-disordered) and split off from each other due to childhood trauma in their exomemories completely unrelated to the rest of the system. This would mean that Quinn is a nesting doll of subsystems, lol.

- According to exomemories, the reason the Queen and Jester's souls got fused in the first place was due to a curse placed upon them by Oberon. Oberon seized the opportunity to stage a coup due to the Queen being mentally unstable and making poor decisions that led to the environmental collapse of her realm. Because she was too powerful to get rid of, he fused her soul with her jester's (also her lover), which gave her amnesia, and banished her. This didn't improve the situation, so all the fae died and only Oberon, who resorted to cannibalism, remained. Later, we managed to track him down and drag him over to our headspace to imprison him, but for his own safety he had to be put to be put in a coma of sorts in which he age regressed to his 6-8y/o self and relived his worst childhood trauma in the form of unending nightmares. We know this because the fucker stole front anytime we fell asleep and would speak irl to ask for reassurance. So he became a headmate against our will. He's a really bad person who's done some really icky stuff in his previous life so we really don't like counting him as a headmate.

- Oberon's child self is so different from his adult self that they might as well be different people. Would this make Oberon a subsystem?

- We also discovered a fragment, Agony, who steals front anytime the host is experiencing terrible despair and snuffs out Iris and Athena, who temporarily die (??????) and are unable to do their job to maintain system wellbeing. However, it's so underdeveloped as a full-fledged headmate and is so actively dangerous to the system that we're unsure if we should include it in the headcount. Our current theory is that Agony is a corrupted inner child that is only capable of experiencing despair for now.

- Iris once had a BPD split so bad that she literally fought her own body, alien hand syndrome style, as if two wills were competing for control. Wtf was that about? How does that affect the headcount?

So yeah, our headcount may range from approximately 4 and ¾ all the way up to.... 10?? Maybe more depending on how you count Quinn's layered subsystems. It's fuckin crazy, y'all, send help 💀💀

Obligatory disclaimer that we're in therapy and none of this impacts our day-to-day life and is not an active issue, it's just weird.

We've recently come out as plural to everyone in our immediate circle (yippee!), but we've run into a somewhat niche issue: discussing our headmates in our native languages. We don't use the term "alter" so that's off the table, but we also haven't found a suitable equivalent for headmate. So far we have tried:

1. Las otras: "The others". Sounds kinda ominous and can lead to confusion very easily. Doesn't work for singular.
2. Mis compañeras: "My companions/mates/colleagues". Sounds overly formal and can lead to confusion with actual classmates/coworkers/roommates. Also just way too long.
3. Mis compis: "My mates (informal)". An endearing shortening of the previous one, but it sounds immature and has an inextricable association with teen girls talking about their besties/friend groups. So far I've favored this one, but I sound kinda ridiculous.
4. Mis compas: "My mates (informal)". Similar to compis, except it's a shortening of compadre, which isn't really used to refer to friends in my dialect of Spanish. Also, for some reason, I associate it with masculinity, which isn't our vibe.
5. Mi gente: "My people". It sounds like a dudebro talking about his ride-or-die, gang-affiliated friend group. Def not our vibe. Doesn't work for the singular.
6. Mis camaradas: "My comrades". I don't think I need to explain why we're not using this one.

It's also worth noting that the main language in our environment is Catalan, so ideally any term I use could easily be worked into Catalan without making it sound weird af, but I'll take any good alternative in Spanish first 😭😭 Please give us suggestions!

I saw a plural meme a while ago that I keep referencing with friends but can't find it for the life of me. It was a tweet modified to say something like plurality being more person per person. Does anyone have that meme?? I can't find it anywhere and it's such a hit in our friend group

CW: Spoilers, extreme body horror, and pretty much every trigger under the sun

>!We recently watched The Substance with a fellow system and were floored by how on-the-nose a plural-coded reading of the film would be. Among many things, these are some key points that really resonated with us:!<

1. >!The talk about "being one", not by behaving as a singlet, but as sharing one life and one body that is each affected by the other's actions each week.!<
2. >!The rules about fair switching, about not fostering resentment for the alter who fronts every other week, about "respecting the balance" as an allegory for system responsibility, and the consequences of throwing your alters under the bus coming back to bite you in the ass.!<
3. >!The insistence that "she is not me" despite being under the impression that they are still one consciousness, which is blatantly disproven later on when they are both co-conscious.!<
4. >!The sheer terror at the mere suggestion of "stopping the process", murdering your alter and being left completely on your own (despite your alter literally killing you more and more each time it fronts) as a clear allegory for Final Fusion being casually offered as the only solution to in-system toxicity and the fear associated with it.!<
5. >!The visceral shame and self-hate, both from the one whose life is being stolen away and the one who is selfishly burning the candle from both ends. !<
6. >!The acceptance of being two as one, MonstroElizaSue, and being labeled a monster and a freak for accepting your multiplicity outwardly after much internal suffering.!<

>!So much more we could mention, but these themes stood out. However, I (Mavka, host) am aware that this could play into the "evil alter ego who takes over your life" trope. While this version is deeply relatable to me for many reasons, as my oldest headmate (Iris) is to me everything that Sue is to Elizabeth, I understand that many systems could take issue with that tired stereotype as part of plural representation. !<

>!What are all your thoughts on this?!<

I'm very new to plurality as a whole and finding out where to turn to for guidance has been a struggle, to say the least. My headmates started making themselves known a couple months back and I've had my partner (also plural) to help me through it, but having no plural connections beyond that has made me feel incredibly isolated. It was especially rough when I was still dealing with a sadistic persecutor who has since reformed, for the most part.

I enjoy researching psychology and different techniques for self-improvement. I know there are many guides out there to promote system harmony and cooperation, deepening one's connection to headspace/headmates, or even finding/willing new headmates into existence. I've always been interested in these sorts of resources or general tools for system wellbeing, but I find it's hard to learn about without direct connections to the community. I also know a lot of this stuff is usually within the domain of tulpamancy, which I don't believe is right for me for several reasons... In short, I'm pretty lost.

Where can I find this kind of information? Are there any plural communities dedicated to gathering and sharing knowledge? I tried the Plural Librarium discord, but the amount of info is overwhelming and it seems a little dead as a server. Sometimes it feels like I need people to hold my hand through this. Any advice?