u/Alarming_Flamingo_40

I entered a US PhD program with two co-advisors who are married to each other. I was committed to getting my PhD and had every intention of finishing. I passed my candidacy exam and made it into my fourth year. The funding was from the husbands’s grant but I was working on the wife’s projects and the wife would tell me to work on her projects and pause working on the husband’s grants until we get preliminary data and this what they agreed on. The husband is hands-off and would not reply to my emails or any follow-ups I would send.

My experience in the lab, however, was complicated.

I was never really given a defined thesis project. Instead, I was frequently assigned tasks across multiple different projects. At times, I was working on tasks contributing to five or more different projects simultaneously. My workload could become extremely scattered, with new tasks being added before I had finished previous ones.
I tried to keep up with everything, but I never felt that I had a coherent thesis direction.
Then, during my fourth year, the situation deteriorated significantly.

My advisor repeatedly told me that the reason I couldn’t continue was funding.

Because I wanted to understand what was actually happening, I reached out to members of my dissertation committee for clarification. They told me they had spoken with my advisor and that their understanding was that the issue wasn’t actually funding, my advisor simply didn’t want me in his lab anymore.

I was never given a clear explanation as to why.
At one point, my advisor also told me that I had a bad reputation.

This was extremely confusing because I had never previously been told that I had a serious reputation problem. I didn’t know what I had supposedly done, who I had a bad reputation with, or what specific behavior was being referred to.

If I had been given specific feedback, I would have wanted to address it. Instead, I was left with a very serious characterization of me without a clear explanation of what it was based on.

Because I still wanted to finish my PhD, I began contacting other faculty members about potentially joining their labs.

Some faculty initially seemed interested. Then later, they would apologize and tell me they could no longer take me.
This happened multiple times.
I don’t know what was communicated between my advisor and those faculty members, and I have no direct evidence that my advisor contacted them or said anything negative about me. But after seeing this happen repeatedly, I began to suspect that my attempts to find another lab were being undermined behind the scenes.
Then came the part that ultimately forced my decision.
My advisor communicated through the program coordinator that I had two options.

Option 1: I could accept mastering out, which would guarantee that I would receive a master’s degree.
Option 2: I could refuse to master out, register for the following semester, and according to what the coordinator communicated to me, my advisor would give me an unsatisfactory grade for the current semester and the following semester, which would mean I would ultimately be unable to graduate with a degree.

So from my perspective, the choice was essentially:
Accept the master’s degree now, or remain in the program under circumstances where I was being told I would receive unsatisfactory grades and potentially leave without any degree.

I chose to master out.
This was in my fourth year, after I had already passed my candidacy exam and spent years working toward the PhD.
The hardest part wasn’t simply losing the PhD.
It was the fact that I never really understood why I was being forced out.
I had been told it was funding.
My committee members told me they understood that it wasn’t really funding, but that my advisor didn’t want me in his lab.
I was told I had a “bad reputation,” but I was never given a clear explanation of what that meant.
I tried to find another lab, but faculty members who initially seemed interested later withdrew.
And eventually I was presented with the two options above.
I am now finishing my master’s degree and trying to decide whether I should apply for another PhD.
I don’t want to make this post simply to complain about my former advisor. I’m genuinely trying to understand what happened and whether there was something I could have done differently.
So I’d really appreciate perspectives from professors, graduate students, or people who have served on graduate committees:

-Is this a normal way for a PhD student to be removed from a program?

-Is it normal to tell a student that they have a “bad reputation” without giving specific feedback or an opportunity to address the alleged problems?

-How common is it for a PI to effectively prevent a student from transferring to another lab?

And perhaps most importantly:

If you were in my position, would you view mastering out as a failure on your part, or as an outcome of a dysfunctional advising situation?

Also if I master out, how can I narrate this in my SoPs for new PhD admissions. In my last year of undergrad, I got 8 PhD offers when I had less research experience than now but now I feel like I am in a much worse situation than when I was in the last of undergrad.

I entered a US PhD program with two co-advisors who are married to each other. I was committed to getting my PhD and had every intention of finishing. I passed my candidacy exam and made it into my fourth year. The funding was from the husbands’s grant but I was working on the wife’s projects and the wife would tell me to work on her projects and pause working on the husband’s grants until we get preliminary data and this what they agreed on. The husband is hands-off and would not reply to my emails or any follow-ups I would send.

My experience in the lab, however, was complicated.

I was never really given a defined thesis project. Instead, I was frequently assigned tasks across multiple different projects. At times, I was working on tasks contributing to five or more different projects simultaneously. My workloadb could become extremely scattered, with new tasks being added before I had finished previous ones.
I tried to keep up with everything, but I never felt that I had a coherent thesis direction.
Then, during my fourth year, the situation deteriorated significantly.

My advisor repeatedly told me that the reason I couldn’t continue was funding.

Because I wanted to understand what was actually happening, I reached out to members of my dissertation committee for clarification. They told me they had spoken with my advisor and that their understanding was that the issue wasn’t actually funding, my advisor simply didn’t want me in his lab anymore.

I was never given a clear explanation as to why.
At one point, my advisor also told me that I had a “bad reputation.”

This was extremely confusing because I had never previously been told that I had a serious reputation problem. I didn’t know what I had supposedly done, who I had a bad reputation with, or what specific behavior was being referred to.
If I had been given specific feedback, I would have wanted to address it. Instead, I was left with a very serious characterization of me without a clear explanation of what it was based on.
Because I still wanted to finish my PhD, I began contacting other faculty members about potentially joining their labs.
Some faculty initially seemed interested. Then later, they would apologize and tell me they could no longer take me.
This happened multiple times.
I don’t know what was communicated between my advisor and those faculty members, and I have no direct evidence that my advisor contacted them or said anything negative about me. But after seeing this happen repeatedly, I began to suspect that my attempts to find another lab were being undermined behind the scenes.
Then came the part that ultimately forced my decision.
My advisor communicated through the program coordinator that I had two options.
Option 1: I could accept mastering out, which would guarantee that I would receive a master’s degree.
Option 2: I could refuse to master out, register for the following semester, and according to what the coordinator communicated to me, my advisor would give me an unsatisfactory grade for the current semester and the following semester, which would mean I would ultimately be unable to graduate with a degree.

So from my perspective, the choice was essentially:
Accept the master’s degree now, or remain in the program under circumstances where I was being told I would receive unsatisfactory grades and potentially leave without any degree.

I chose to master out.
This was in my fourth year, after I had already passed my candidacy exam and spent years working toward the PhD.
The hardest part wasn’t simply losing the PhD.
It was the fact that I never really understood why I was being forced out.
I had been told it was funding.
My committee members told me they understood that it wasn’t really funding, but that my advisor didn’t want me in his lab.
I was told I had a “bad reputation,” but I was never given a clear explanation of what that meant.
I tried to find another lab, but faculty members who initially seemed interested later withdrew.
And eventually I was presented with the two options above.
I am now finishing my master’s degree and trying to decide whether I should apply for another PhD.
I don’t want to make this post simply to complain about my former advisor. I’m genuinely trying to understand what happened and whether there was something I could have done differently.
So I’d really appreciate perspectives from professors, graduate students, or people who have served on graduate committees:
Is this a normal way for a PhD student to be removed from a program?
Is it normal to tell a student that they have a “bad reputation” without giving specific feedback or an opportunity to address the alleged problems?
How common is it for a PI to effectively prevent a student from transferring to another lab?

And perhaps most importantly:
If you were in my position, would you view mastering out as a failure on your part, or as an outcome of a dysfunctional advising situation?
Also if I master out, how can I narrate this in my SoPs for new PhD admissions. In my last year of undergrad, I got 8 PhD offers when I had less research experience than now but now I feel like I am in a much worse situation than when I was in the last of undergrad.