Unsure how to tell my parents what wedding traditions I don't want to participate in.
My traditional Cantonese mother has already told me I need to make sure my American partner knows to give them a dowry.
It's the one tradition I've always found rude to me as a person and want nothing to do with it. My partner also agrees with me.
I also know about the tea ceremony, sleeping at my parents for my groom to pick me up as part of the gate crash, and the family banquetwhich I do want as part of my wedding prep/celebration. My partner also knows about these traditions and has agreed to participate in them.
My parents do not know I am engaged, mainly cause I didn't tell them directly and don't really plan on having the wedding till 2028/2029 as we are saving to pay the entire wedding on our own). I am not hiding it. I'm just not actively bringing it up with my family/parents.
I'm not really sure how to tell my parents "no I'm not doing that" without souring any other part of the other traditions.
Edit for a bit more details: The wedding itself will be an intimate wedding with people we are close to. The family banquet is a separate reception with a large amount of family I honestly don't care for but know it's rude not to do it.