Black List 6–7 on my feature THE DEFENDER (97 pp): do you read it as a vigilante film?
Hi everyone,
I'd love an honest read on a feature I wrote: THE DEFENDER, a family tragedy / crime drama, 97 pages.
Script: https://blcklst.com/projects/239212
Logline: A small-town sheriff wears two masks — only one is iron, and he swore he'd buried it for good. He never stopped waiting for a target he could call justified. A paroled sex offender gives him one, and he uses his own family's tragedy as cover to take it.
Three Black List evaluations came back in the 6–7 range. I'm not disputing the scores. What interests me is that readers engaged mostly with the vigilante plot (the offender, the mask) and asked for more of it. I wrote that plot as a justification: a relapse story hiding inside a vigilante film. The real story is father and son: the boy asks him to look, more than once, and each time something else takes priority.
Before any explanation, a blind question: after the first 15 pages, what do you think this film is about? And if you finish it: has your answer changed?
Where does the second story fail to surface for you: structure, emphasis, or something else? Any feedback is welcome, including harsh.
Thanks for reading!