r/ReadMyScript

This is a very amateur screenplay, and I honestly only started it for fun and as a writing exercise to get back into the groove of writing, but now I’m kind of wondering if it has any sort of potential, and I just wanna see what other people besides my friends have to say.
its going to be a horror movie with some satirical elements, but it’s pretty short so far so it doesn’t really get into the meat of it. I can explain more about my idea in the comments if asked.
any advice would be appreciated!!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1glKjHB5_nUUWB5dkslR7_NQGtmkwuSJe/view?usp=drivesdk

A psychological religious horror about a religious teenager named Jacob whos experienced one of the worst things possible feeling like God is punishing him and feels like he owes him a good life that he ''deserves''.
You can read the The Script here.
Please keep in mind this is my first screenplay that Is 16 pages so any feedback Is appreciated. Please make constructive critisicm and let me know what you liked and didn't like about this. It is not perfect and It will be edited based on your feedback so be honest to me.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rXb4KEDgTletbsF0FVQfQsG1ryvKka4-/view?usp=sharing

I'm writing a stoner comedy. I'm a hobbyist writer and english is my second language, so please bear with me.

The bit is about two stoners. Events are happening in near future LA. One of them is seasoned Hollywood writer and another is Russian refuge who is suffering from PTSD.

They are baked at writer's house and writer put on the song on the vinyl.

The song is La Conquistada by Los Jaivas, who were displaced Chileans in the times of dictatorship. So russian guy is deep into the music cause it resonating with him. He is too being displaced due dictatorship.

The problem is that i want to include whole 3 minutes of the song and don't want it to get boring cause there is not much going on. At the same time the energy of the song is so great i hope it can hold the emotion.

The writer is an external representation of emotion, while russian is reserved, hiding. But can't hold much longer and burst.

Title: Outta Time. Genre: Drama-comedy. Short script: 21 pages. 

Logline: On his last night in L.A., a dejected screenwriter takes an inspirational road trip to "Back to the Future" filming locations with three newfound friends who just arrived in town.

I’m preparing to enter the script in two screenwriting contests, so any and all feedback is welcome. Thank you.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17oqpG85pYG0KroQcY4W5yekQ3zQ6wWV2/view?usp=sharing

I have a relatively new YouTube channel about the art of screenwriting, where I do deep dives into screenplays, post about screenplay architecture, and give tips/walkthroughs on how to use Final Draft 13.

I am putting together a list of topics to cover next on the channel and want to know what writers are most focussed on these days.

Post your thoughts here and I'll do my best to make videos covering those topics.

Here is the channel, in case anyone is interested: @Fade.In.Screenplays

I'm not sure if putting the url counts as self-promotion, so I'm not gonna do that (just in case).

Thanks!

Matt

• Logline : A possessive mother psychologically terrorizes her son and daughter-in-law to keep her grandson for herself, forcing her son to confront years of trauma and dark secrets to save his family.
• Feedback Concerns: I've been working on this film for a year and a half now. It's done well in script competitions and film labs, and has come close a couple of times to getting off the ground. Any feedback you guys have would be helpful. I'm planning to direct this too as you will see in the pitch deck.
• Link for script https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vsArw0UXn0s1XDuHzVkOhGUSBrlYSZ2A/view?usp=sharing
• Link for deck: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1boVf7ywFzvPcBJ6PbdSJsuNO0RWQc9et/view?usp=sharing

I wonder if anyone would be willing to have a read through episode 1 of my four part series? I have uploaded the google drive link, and would love some feedback. I have been a writer (not professionally) for around 10 years and would like to get an idea of how I am doing really.

LOGLINE:

On an isolated, matriarchal island where male infants are routinely eliminated to protect a traumatized community, a dedicated midwife begins to question her society’s brutal dogmas when her public pregnancy and an unexpected bond with a young girl force her to choose between total obedience and a dangerous defiance.

Thanks in advance.

Rob

Hollow Tide Ep1

Title: CLANDESTINE

Format: Feature Screenplay

Pages: 146

Genres: Horror/Dark Comedy/Satire/Surreal

Logline: After a local hero and his family are met with a grisly and unexplainable tragedy, Chief of Police, RUEBEN THORPE is taken off the case and told to focus on a minor budgetary issue with his fellow town council members.

Comps: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992), Fargo (1996), Weapons (2025), Eddington (2025), I Saw The TV Glow (2024), Longlegs (2024)

CONTENT WARNING: >!Violence, Violent Crime/Murder, Child/Domestic Abuse, Sexual !<

>!Abuse/Violence, Substance Abuse, Suicide/Mental Illness, Terminal Illness, Transphobia/Genderism!<

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hello,

I have been writing since middle-school (around a decade), and have never shared a project publicly, having only shared with family/friends and occasionally sending in for notes. I wanted to share my feature horror/comedy script CLANDESTINE that I have been working on for the past couple of years.

I love all genres of cinema and storytelling, but have a fondness for the surreal and unorthodox. This project is something I wrote after having difficulty attempting more conventional and palatable ideas. I feel it exemplifies my predilection for macabre and absurd stories, layered with thorny interpretations and details. Those who enjoy weirder/darker stories like such (or the comps listed above), will hopefully enjoy this. Thank you!

Once again, link is here...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

P.S... If you are interested in reading, but are hesitant due to the high-page count, message me for a read4read! I'm interested in meeting new artists and reading new projects, especially those that have yet to be realized.

Hi all, requesting feedback on my short film script, 6 pages, sci fi. I will be shooting this short in one month.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eV1zVQQwCbtQYfvS6PkR0k5217XvnjrL/view?usp=drive_linkTitle:

The Human Preservation Project

Genre: Sci Fi

Happy to read/review any shorts in exchange.

Thanks!

Feedback Desired: I wanted to create a high-concept sci-fi comedy that captures the wacky suburban slice-of-life feel of series like 'Ed Edd n Eddy' with the high sci-fi stakes of a series like 'Hailey's On It.' I would like feedback on things like dialogue, pacing, and character. Any feedback would be much appreciated!

(Edit: Updated based on feedback and mistakes I made in the earlier draft. Please read the updated draft and tell me what you think).

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ysXtRGDJkOOnMSPsm9WDBAFTahZguoq_/view?usp=sharing

Coming of age drama (with some sci-fi elements).

Looking for a cold read. Happy to read and give feedback on your script in return.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YYtiVhC3KvoflpeJamu6LzDnyG8sQmBS/view?usp=drivesdk

Genres: Horror/Drama/Thriller

Logline: A possessive mother psychologically terrorizes her son and daughter-in-law to keep her grandson for herself, forcing her son to confront years of trauma and dark secrets to save his family.

Feedback: I'm not looking for any specific feedback, but I'm happy to hear any thoughts. Enjoy!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vsArw0UXn0s1XDuHzVkOhGUSBrlYSZ2A/view?usp=drive_link

Title: The Weight of Breathing

Logline: A great white shark, savaged by decades of human waste, washes ashore transformed into a mute man. A lonely alcoholic on Venice Beach becomes his teacher, his witness, and his friend on a journey of discovering the horrors and humors of humanity.

Genre: Drama (Art House, Kaurismäki-coded)

Tone / Comps: The Man Without a Past (Aki Kaurismäki), Under the Skin, Wendy and Lucy, The Fisher King.

Pages: 82

Settings: 8 Locations (Ocean and Ocean Depths, Venice Beach and Shoreline, The Homeless Camp, Boardwalk and Intersection, Downtown LA and Skid Row, Hospital and Psych Ward, Pier and Beach to Pier Ramp, Vehicles: Van and Cop Car)

Characters: 2 Main Characters (one male 20s/30s, one male 30s/40s)

DM me if you're interested in reading the screenplay.

I'm writing a stoner comedy and just finished the scene. Just want to know if the jokes land and if the scene in general works.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yNR0vWJwBit3vxZ18tBI5rG2dVp6wg7Z/view?usp=sharing

No sock is safe when the rich and powerful feel threatened.

All the President's Socks

(PG-13)

NOTE: This was written for the current (14th) SimplyScripts One Page Challenge.

The prompt is "Dirty Socks" and the genre is open.

TITLE:  VERONICA

Genre:Crime /Thriller

Length: (15 pages) (15 minutes)

Logline:

VERONICA- A cold, methodical London hitman disguises himself as a high class escort to assassinate an crime boss, but his brutal efficiency hides a secret :the fortune he earns in blood is quietly donated to orphans under the name "Veronica. "

Synopsis:

William Lewis,  a silent, hollow-eyed taxi driver , is more than he appears - he's a contract killer with obsessive eye for detail. When he overhears two escorts  bragging about "The Big Man" - Ndranghetta crime Boss - William begins meticulous plan to eliminate him without a trace. His disguise is flawless : a wig makeup, padding, and a new name- Veronica .Seducing his way into the boss's guarded penthouse. William uses a single drop of poison to kill him in exactly six minutes. The city believes is heart attack . Alone in his apartment,  William transfer hi. <=°. •s blood money to orphanages around the world-all under the name Veronica.The mask he wears to kill becomes the name of his secret charity, leaving the legacy the world will never trace back to him.

FADE IN

EXT: LONDON STREET - NiGHT (2.00 A.M)

Rain needles pavement. Neon smears in oily puddles.

A YELLOW TAXI coughs to a stop outside a 24 HOUR SUPERMARKET.

The door groans open. WILLIAM LEWIS (30s, hollow -cheeked, eyes like a shark's) steps out. Collar up.

INT. SUPERMARKET - CONTINUES

Fluorescent lights flicker.

A CLERK (50s bleary-eyed) scrubs a coffee from his shirt.

William ghosts down the aisle.Grabs:

Peanuts (cheap, salted)

Water bottle (generic,  no logo)

Places them on the counter.  No words.

CLERK

(Mumbling)

That's all ?

Before William can answer-

DING-DONG .

The door SLAMS open. A KID (18, twitchy, sweat-slicked) stumbles in. GUN raised.

KID

(Voice cracking)

Empty the fucking register! Now!

The clerk freezes.

William doesn't even blink.

CLOSE ON WILLIAM 'S EYES.

-black, flat. Like a reptile's

He slowly pulls out his wallet. Slides £200 across the counter.

WILLIAM

(Soft, lethal)

Cameras.Four of'em.

(Leans, in slightly)

Take the money.Walk away.

The Kid's gun hand trembles.A beat- then he GRABS the cash , bolts.

CLERK

(Whispers)

Jesus...Take whatever you want, mate.

William leaves the money.Takes only his items.Exit.

EXT. STREET - MOMENTS LATER

William slides back into his taxi. The engine snarls awake.

INT. TAXI - MOVING

His knuckles whiten on the wheel. The peanuts and water sit beside him.

EXT. LUXURY HOTEL-NiGHT

William 's taxi idles under marble awning.Two ESCORTS (fishnet thighs, glitter lips) clamber in.

ESCORT #1

(Singsong)

The Eagle's Nest love.

William nods.Drives.

INT. TAXI -MOVING

The escorts giggle,  snort coke, brag.

ESCORT #2

(Whispering)

Met the Big Man tonight.  Ndrangheta royalty.

(Laughs)

Security like the fuckin' Pope

William 's eyes flick to the rearview-recording.

INT.  WILLIAM 'S APARTAMENT - NiGHT

A bare bulbs swings.William plays back audio on a cracked laptop.

ON SCREEN:

Bodyguard routes.

Food deliveries (always taste-tested first)

Escort pickup schedules.

William cleans a pistol, screws on a silencer. Poisons a vial.

His FLASHLIGHT illuminates:

Blueprints of the "Eagle's Nest"

Photos of bodyguard (circled:weaknesses)

(VOICEOVER) WILLIAM

(Cold, precise)

No frontal assault. No traces.

(Beat)

He 'll die of "natural causes"

EXT. SUPERMARKET - DAY

William "bumps" into a BODYGUARD buying groceries and the Boss's favourite cigarettes. Pockets receipt.

The FLASHLIGHT glints in his coat.

EXT. WILLIAM 'S SAFEHOUSE -NIGHT

A dim bathroom. Steam fogs the mirror. William stares at his reflection - the face of the killer.

His FLASHLIGHT clicks on, illuminating:

A WIG (auburn, shoulder-length)

Prosthetic breasts

Lipstick (blood red)

Methodically,  he transforms:

1.Shaves his head, eyebrows.

2.DRAWS new eyebrow - delicate arches.

3.APPLIES foundation,  countouring his jawline softer.

4.Slips into stocking, adjusts the padding.

CLOSE ON HIS HANDS - steady, practiced. These hands have killed before. They know precision.

(VOICEOVER) WILLIAM

(Cold, methodical)

The perfect disguise isn't about becoming someone else ,,,

(beat)

,,,It's about becoming what they want to see.

EXT. LUXURY HOTEL-NiGHT

Williams taxi pulls up. Now, he's "VERONICA" -all curves and pout.The trasformation is complete.

BODYGUARD #1 (hulking,  earpierce) opens the door.

BODYGUARD #1

New girl

William bats false eyelashes, affects a breathy voice:

WILLIAM (AS VERONICA)

(Giggling)

Special delivery for the Big Man

The bodyguard leers,  pats her down, His hands linger to long on the padding.

BODYGUARD #1

Clean, Joey, take her up.

INT. ELEVATOR- CONTINUES

BODYGUARD #2 eyes "VERONICA" hungrily.

William keeps the giggle.the sway.

FLASHBACK YOUNG WILLIAM (14)

Staring at a girl in school, his first crush.The way she tossed her hair.

BACK TO ELEVATOR

William mimics that exact hair toss. Perfect.

INT.  PENTHOUSE -CONTINUES

The door opens to opulence. THE BOSS (2m tall, 150 kg of muscle and fat) lounges on a white sofa, cigar in hand.

THE BOSS

(Appraising)

Bellissima...Come. Sit.

William glides over, crossing legs with practiced grace.The Boss grabs his hand , suck on his fingers.

THE BOSS

(Murmuring)

Like a candy...

CLOSE ON WILLIAM 'S EAR

The poison eardrop glints.Six minutes Thats all he needs.

INT. BEDROOM -LATER

Silk sheets.The Boss looms over "VERONICA" .William counts breaths in his head .

As the Boss mounts him, William 's hand drifts to his ear.

With lover's caress. William presses the poisoned eardrop into the Boss's neck.

THE BOSS

(Groaning)

Che...cos'e'...?

His pupils dilate.Collapses mid-thrust.

WILLIAM'S WATCH

The second hand ticks: 5.58, 5,59, 6.00

Dead on schedule.

INT. PENTHOUSE - LATER

William arranges the corpse like sleeping.Fixes his wigs .Takes one last look at security monitors, -the guards see nothing amiss

FLASHLIGHT POV

Scans the room- no trace left.

He leaves quietly. The bodyguards think the Boss is asleep.

INT. HOTEL BATHROOM - NIGHT

William strips the wig and make up.Clothes in the bin.

Gasoline. A flicker. Fire eats it all.

INT. WILLIAM 'S APARTAMENT- NIGHT

The flashlight sits on the table.Beside it , an envelope of cash.

The news anchor (V.O) announces

"Big Man died of a heart attack"

William open his laptop .On-screen: multiple orphanage bank accounts around the world - Brazil, Ukraine, Kenya,  Cambodia. Sender's name on each transfer :VERONICA

WILLIAM (V.O)

She's the one they remember.

Not me. Never me.

He clicks "SEND" £50 000 each

His hand hovers over the flashlight. Click.

FLASHBACK -INT. SUPERMARKET (14 YEARS AGO)

YOUNG WILLIAM (14, starving, feral) SHOVES a pistol in a CLERK's face.

CLERK

(Reaching under counter bat)

Fuckin'orphan rat

YOUNGER WILLIAM FIRES. BLOOD sprays the cigarette rack.

BACK TO PRESENT - APARTMENT

William sits in the dark only the rain outside.

FADE OUT

TITLE CARD :VERONICA

Grounded

Final Draft PDF

109 pages

Drama, Road Movie, Historical Fiction

Logline: When every flight in America is grounded, four strangers share the last rental car out of Columbus and drive cross-country through the aftermath of September 11th, 2001, forcing each of them to confront what they've been running from long before that day.

Feedback Concerns: Any feedback would be extremely helpful. I'm less concerned about the commercial viability, and more concerned with a believable story with believable characters.

Hi all, requesting feedback on my short film script, 6 pages, sci fi. I will be shooting this short in one month.

Title: The Human Preservation Project

Logline: On request, genre is sci fi.

If interested, please PM me. Happy to read/review any shorts in exchange.

Thanks!

LOGLINE: In a snowbound Tasmanian town where everyone is protecting someone, a self-destructive detective investigating two child murders discovers the person she can't protect is her own family.

Link to pilot script

Re-draft of something I wrote a while back -- any feedback is helpful, but particularly wanting to make sure the introduction of characters is smooth/not confusing (I'm worried it's too much), the mystery is well set up, characters compelling -- dialogue?

Also worried re being derivative. I started this before Mare of Easttown and I can't unsee the similarities.