r/ReadMyScript

Hi everyone,

I'd love an honest read on a feature I wrote: THE DEFENDER, a family tragedy / crime drama, 97 pages.

Script: https://blcklst.com/projects/239212

Logline: A small-town sheriff wears two masks — only one is iron, and he swore he'd buried it for good. He never stopped waiting for a target he could call justified. A paroled sex offender gives him one, and he uses his own family's tragedy as cover to take it.

Three Black List evaluations came back in the 6–7 range. I'm not disputing the scores. What interests me is that readers engaged mostly with the vigilante plot (the offender, the mask) and asked for more of it. I wrote that plot as a justification: a relapse story hiding inside a vigilante film. The real story is father and son: the boy asks him to look, more than once, and each time something else takes priority.

Before any explanation, a blind question: after the first 15 pages, what do you think this film is about? And if you finish it: has your answer changed?

Where does the second story fail to surface for you: structure, emphasis, or something else? Any feedback is welcome, including harsh.

Thanks for reading!

Looking g for filmmakers for my short scrip. 5 pages long. It's a sci-fi script based on.

Logline: When a collared man marked "3" falls through his bedroom door into a reality that cracks like glass, he must evade a parasitic shadow to discover his entire life is an experiment and he is Subject 3.

After filming they can share the short fim to DUST and similar companies. As a director you can have credit for filmmaker while I have credit for writer.

Hello all! I’m looking for some honest feedback on my horror screenplay called The Pot of Plenty.

It follows two sisters who discover an antique pot that grants requests in exchange for things they cherish. As their lives improve, the sacrifices become increasingly personal and neither sister agrees on when to stop.

It’s a dark fairy tale about addiction, dissatisfaction, and the messy line between loving someone and enabling them.

What I’d especially love to know:

Does the relationship between the sisters feel believable?

Does the dread build, or are there stretches where it loses momentum?

Are the pot’s rules clear?

Does the ending feel earned?

But feedback on any portion would be appreciated. If something feels confusing, repetitive, or just doesn’t work, I want to hear it.

The Pot of Plenty

Thanks in advance! Love you!

Title: The Greenwood Incident

Format: Feature

Genres: Horror/ Thriller

Logline: After a government containment failure, a strained group of friends spiral into vicious paranoia in a remote california mountain home as an entity hides among them wearing human form.

Feedback Concerns: This is the first couple
pages of my story. I’m interested in hearing if the beginning gives just enough urgency while leaving room for mystery and if the transition to the party is still interesting enough to keep you invested to see the eventual unravel.

The Greenwood Incident

Title: Furniture

Format: Feature

Page Length: 91 pages

Genres: Comedy/Dark Comedy

Logline: Two rival furniture-store owners in a dying plaza spiral into a war of sabotage and obsession when an aspiring documentarian fans the flames of their feud for the sake of her film.

Feedback Concerns: Right now my biggest concern is that the ideas/themes/arcs in my film are only obvious to me because I wrote it. I need to make sure certain aspects are crystal clear. If you read, please answer these questions in your reply.

What do you think Donnie wants?

What do you think Karl is afraid of?

Why do you think April keeps filming?

At what point did April stop being an observer and start actively influencing them?

Why do you think Donnie chooses to burn the store?

Why do you think Karl lets him?

What do you think changed between Donnie and Karl by the end?

Why does April turn the camera off?

Why doesn't she delete the footage?

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1p7f2W13jhdxUhicn2qS_Rp58Z30sVbzW/view?usp=sharing

Hi, I wrote a short sci-fi script.

Logline:When a black hole threatens our planet, a soldier must team up with an unlikely ally to save the world.

Link:https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wDTszz\_1HBMmRPIgM0r52tqpqHjTUMu2/view?usp=drivesdk

Thank you for reading this!:)

Just finished my second draft of this script for my Directing Class. I appreciate all the feedback I got from you guys last time. My professor and classmates gave me some notes regarding the ending and some of the dialogue, so I tried my best to address and would appreciate any and all feedback on the current version of the script.

Title: The Group Chat

Format: Short Film

Page Length: 8 pgs.

Genre: Comedy, Drama

Logline: A young man spirals after discovering his friends have a secret group chat without him.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/18B17uc08lh-4X-nhUZpN1FM-QfQ5NlP8/view?usp=drivesdk

Feedback concerns: Does the tone feel consistent? Does the story/dialogue flow well and make sense? Is it structured well?

Thanks!