u/GarySparkle

Title: The Weight of Breathing

Logline: A great white shark, savaged by decades of human waste, washes ashore transformed into a mute man. A lonely alcoholic on Venice Beach becomes his teacher, his witness, and his friend on a journey of discovering the horrors and humors of humanity.

Genre: Drama (Art House, Kaurismäki-coded)

Tone / Comps: The Man Without a Past (Aki Kaurismäki), Under the Skin, Wendy and Lucy, The Fisher King.

Pages: 82

Settings: 8 Locations (Ocean and Ocean Depths, Venice Beach and Shoreline, The Homeless Camp, Boardwalk and Intersection, Downtown LA and Skid Row, Hospital and Psych Ward, Pier and Beach to Pier Ramp, Vehicles: Van and Cop Car)

Characters: 2 Main Characters (one male 20s/30s, one male 30s/40s)

DM me if you're interested in reading the screenplay.

Title: The Weight of Breathing

Logline: A great white shark, savaged by decades of human waste, washes ashore transformed into a mute man. A lonely alcoholic on Venice Beach becomes his teacher, his witness, and his friend on a journey of discovering the horrors and humors of humanity.

Genre: Drama (Art House, Kaurismäki-coded)

Tone / Comps: The Man Without a Past (Aki Kaurismäki), Under the Skin, Wendy and Lucy, The Fisher King.

Pages: 82

Settings: 8 Locations (Ocean and Ocean Depths, Venice Beach and Shoreline, The Homeless Camp, Boardwalk and Intersection, Downtown LA and Skid Row, Hospital and Psych Ward, Pier and Beach to Pier Ramp, Vehicles: Van and Cop Car)

Characters: 2 Main Characters (one male 20s/30s, one male 30s/40s)

DM me if you're interested in reading the screenplay.

So i've been using American Home Shield for a home warranty for a few years now and their customer experience is always interesting. The other day i put in a claim for an AC unit that running all the time. I get a notification that ive been assigned a contractor. Someone from AHS calls me and says "We have to switch the contractor for the service call."

I'm like "Sure, that's fine. Can i ask why?"

And she replies "I can't tell you."

So of course, now i'm curious. "You can't tell me?"

"No."

"Well, i guess i can call them and ask why."

She panics. Starts backpeddling, tries to articulate a thought that comes out as follows:

"Sometimes... if a company comes out... and the service call doesn't go well, they can decline future service."

The whole interaction was terrible for so many reasons:

1. They didn't need to call me to let me know they were switching contractors. I don't care who comes to do the work as long as the work is done.
2. Saying "i can't tell you." just opens the door for a bad interaction. Why not just say "They're not available." Yes, i concede i didn't need to ask 'Why?' and open that door, but based on the fact that they had to call to run this by me, they piqued my curiosity.
3. My follow up question "Does it say why the service call didn't go well?" She said she didn't have any specific information.

So now i'm left with the mystery of why an AC Contractor doesn't want to respond to a service call, and i have no idea what could have happened. I've had service contractors come to service AC Units before, but i can't recall a single interaction that wasn't anything other than pleasant and pretty simple transactions.

So thanks to AHS Customer Service, i have this Larry David-esque existential crisis of trying to figure out why this company is refusing to accept service calls from my house.

I've got the following:

1. Dead/Dying pine tree (30-40 feet) that needs to be cut down and removed
2. Large brances on a very large pine tree that are growing over and touching the roof that need trimmed/cut
3. Two very ugly pine trees (30-40 feet) that i'd like to cut down but will make a decision based on pricing

Anyone have any recommendations for tree removal?

Also, i hate pine trees. Especially the ones in my yard.

i was strolling down memory lane and was trying to figure out the name of a Hostel i stayed at in London in the Craven Hill area (off Lancaster Gate) that was this amazing place. Sadly, I didn't take any pictures of the interior and I was recounting how amazing this place was, how it had a mural of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers in the room where we stayed (the one where they're only wearing sock). I have such good memories of the place but no pictures, and all these years later i can't even remember what it was called to look for other people's pics.

If anyone knows the name of the place, i'd be super greatful.

i was strolling down memory lane and was trying to figure out the name of a Hostel i stayed at in London in the Craven Hill area (off Lancaster Gate) that was this amazing place. Sadly, I didn't take any pictures of the interior and I was recounting how amazing this place was, how it had a mural of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers in the room where we stayed (the one where they're only wearing sock). I have such good memories of the place but no pictures, and all these years later i can't even remember what it was called to look for other people's pics.

If anyone knows the name of the place, i'd be super greatful.

GENRE: Contained Psychological Thriller / Revenge Thriller

LOGLINE: A legendary producer summons an actress to his hotel suite for an impromptu meeting. Against her better judgment, she goes. By dawn, only one of them walks away.

NUMBER OF PAGES: 82

ACTORS: One female lead (Maren, 26), one male lead (Devlin, 50s), one male supporting (The Fixer, 40s), two female supporting in a single sequence (Tess, 27 / Izzy, 25), one female in a brief scene plus V.O. (Ronnie, 20s). One additional V.O. role and three or four non-speaking bit parts.

SETTING: A single hotel suite carries roughly 80% of the film; living area, bedroom, bathroom, balcony, entry hall. Remaining locations: a private members' club (bar, booth, hallway, restroom), a hotel lobby/elevator/corridor, one apartment bedroom, a taxi interior, and a stretch of empty sidewalk at dawn.

ESTIMATED BUDGET: Low budget. Effectively a two-hander in one suite, no VFX, no stunts beyond practical fight choreography, minimal night exteriors. There are some practical FX stuff in the script: A facial cut that would greatly benefit from a make-up artist who knows their craft well.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Did you ever want to make an unforgetable claustrophobic thriller? Something along the lines of Hard Candy with a hint of Promising Young Woman that could be filmed with a modest budget? This may be the screenplay you've been looking for.

DM me an email if you're interested in taking a look.

Two-thirds of a Bay-Area comedy team & A Late Night talk show host talk at great length about the difficulties of scheduling a podcast into their incredibly busy & fulfilling lives.

Title: Anythng Helps

Logline: A great white shark, savaged by decades of human waste, washes ashore transformed into a mute man. A lonely alcoholic on Venice Beach becomes his teacher, his witness, and his friend on a journey of discovering the horrors and humors of humanity.

Genre: Drama (Art House, Kaurismäki-coded)

Pages: 82

Settings: 8 Locations (Ocean and Ocean Depths, Venice Beach and Shoreline, The Homeless Camp, Boardwalk and Intersection, Downtown LA and Skid Row, Hospital and Psych Ward, Pier and Beach to Pier Ramp, Vehicles: Van and Cop Car)

Characters: 2 Main Characters (Nelson, THE MAN) and Extras and Bit Players (Ruth, Doris, Ray, Gene, Danny, Hoodie, Logo Cap, and others)

Price: I'm more interested in finding the right collaborator to see the story told well than placing an arbitrary number on the script. I've sold scripts on here before & i've given some away for nothing. At the end of the day, i want to be proud to have my name on it. That's worth more than money.

DM me if you're interested in reading the screenplay.

Title: The Sisyphus Incident

Genre: Dark Comedy

Logline: A hired assassin struggles to complete a high-paying job with very specific instructions.

Page Count: 7

Characters: 2 Males. 30s

Location: Apartment building, roof, lobby, alley

Note from Author: This is some pure, kinetic comedy that feels like something Edgar Wright would make back in his Spaced days. Someone who understands visual comedy, repetition of shots & briskly paced with a story that evokes early 2000s crime caper movies like Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrells.

DM me if you're interested in reading.

Title: Stephanie G*********, You Will NEVER be Famous

Genre: Comedy/Mockumentary

Setting: New York City

Length: 92 Pages

Logline: An unhinged conspiracy theorist forces a documentarian to capture his "redemption arc," convinced that the internet hate campaign he launched years earlier is the unsung origin story of the world’s biggest pop icon.

The Story behing the Script: I wrote for a website for many years, and one day the Editor shared an anecdote about combing through the comments section of an article about Julia Roberts; which seemed to be a broad assortment of personalities calling out what a terrible person she was & citing examples of real-life stories that made her look like a terrible human being. Only to discover that most of the comments were made from a single source. Someone had taken the time to drag a very famous person in the comments section, having fake conversations with themselves to help validate their claims. That got me thinking about that famous Facebook page where people were cyber-bullying Lady Gaga before she became famous. Then i went down the rabbit hole of people who claimed Lady Gaga stole her entire sound & aesthetic from someone else. Right around that time, someone kidnapped her dogs. And i started thinking; what if all of this was the product of a single person.

Several drafts later, I ended up with something that feels like a mash up of American Vandal & a Chrtisopher Guest movie.

I love this script & would love to see it produced.

Actors: Two Leads (Two Males in their late 30s/Early 40s.). One Supporting role (Male/Female 20s). 2-3 Day Players.

Author Notes:

- The name of the pop icon is intentionally obscured in the title as its a running joke throughout the script that they're not allowed to legally name her, where it's beeped out any time they are mentioned by name.

- My end goal is always collaborating with like-minded creators to end up with something we're all proud of. I'm not averse to payment, but finding the right person/people to shepherd the script into a quality film is the highest priority.

- This feels like a script that would greatly benefit from performers skilled with Improv.

Please DM if you're interested in considering this script for production!

Title: American Sycophant

Genre: Horror / Psychological / Dark Comedy

Pages: 92

Cast: 2 Leads (2 Adult Male Late 20s/Early 30), One female supporting lead (Female 20s).

Locations: Apartment Building, Jewerly Store, 24 Hour Gym, Restaurant, Construction Site

Logline: When an incel obsessed with manosphere influencers decides his building's resident "sigma male" is a murderer, he doesn't call the police; he starts taking notes, hoping to be recruited.

Note from Writer: This script came about after being infinitely amused by the manosphere grifters and wondering what kind of person would fall for this bullshit, while at the same time realizing how much these sigma influencers give Patrick Bateman vibes. And so i set to write out something of a spritual successor to American Psycho with a story about someone who buys into their bullshit and his attempts to ascend up the tier list of life.

DM me if this sounds like a script you'd be interested in making and i'll send it your way for consideration!

...to remind you to upload the latest episode.

Did you get it?

[In Progress]
[75k]
[Adventure Fantasy]

Title: Tempest's Tides

Description: My co-author and I have just finished the 2nd book for a series we've been working on that follows the sea-faring adventures of three travellers in search of mythical sea creatures in the early 20th century. It's a little adventure mixed with some creature fantasy. Would love to get someone to give the completed draft a pass.

DM if interested.

https://preview.redd.it/rm9z1hb9zw0h1.jpg?width=3508&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d27537415e60c6ef8a066f2f0fd4979820d6c2f3

Greetings & Salutations.

I have successfully found an artist for the sampe pages for my Kickstarter for the action/crime comic The Grey Blade of Juarez (some samples below). As i prep the campaign, i'd like to have some alternate covers to offer as that seems to be a staple of good campaigns.

Ideally, i'd like to have some more artstic/abstract covers. Artists like Peach Momoko, Tradd Moore, Rey Lewis. Stuff that pops and has a real street art vibe and doesn't need to nessecerily be realisitc, so if you have a more offbeat style, this might be for you. Big swings are always appreciated.

This is a paid gig. DM me cover samples & your rate. Would love to find some less experienced artists to give an opportunity to & given the central american location of the story, would love to find artists from that region to feature.

If the DM doesn't have a sample or link to samples, it won't be accepted & i won't respond. I don't want to be rude, but the volume of replies makes it impossible to have dozens of simultaneous conversations. All the needed info is in this post. Thank you!

https://preview.redd.it/r44y9x9wyw0h1.png?width=407&format=png&auto=webp&s=3262d47d56b8733be9556abf42a9c695df86b4e2

https://preview.redd.it/jiesnw9wyw0h1.png?width=446&format=png&auto=webp&s=e99e11f1e9786519ba903ebc412855092f47658f

Title: Picture Perfect Penis

Genre: Comedy/Mockumentary

Page Count: 5

Logline: A hyper-ambitious tech bro launches a controversial AI startup that promises to use massive data aggregation and 57 different criteria to identify, objectively and without judgment, the "perfect penis"

DM me if you're interested in reading.

I always thought Jingle All the Way would make a great horror film, so i wrote a screenplay inspired by the Christmas classic and took it in a very different direction which ended up feeling like the trojan horse scary movies that Jordan Peele has been making. There's a moral to this story for people paying attention.

Written to be fimed at a low budget. I've connected with three filmmakers in this sub so far which have led to some really good collaborations. Would love to see the right filmmaker bring this story to life.

Title: Jordan Peele's Jingle All the Way aka When You're Sleeping

Logline: Five years after a desperate Christmas Eve quest for a toy spirals into a violent neighborhood tragedy, a suburban father must survive the vengeful wrath that forces him to confront the night that ruined both their families.

Genre: Thriller w/ Horror elements

Page Count: 83

Price: Money isn't as important to me as finding the right collaborator. A good final product is more important to me than an arbitrary dollar amount. I'm not against money, but at the end of the day being proud of the finished work if far more important.

DM me if you're interested in reading.