u/Alert_Mastodon4142

I’m the maid of honor for my college best friend and in desperate need of ideas for a something new, something old, something borrowed and something blue.

There have been such wonderful recommendations but they all seem a bit more traditional (ie family heirlooms, mother’s dress/jewelry, etc). The problem is that her (the bride) and I were both adopted in the foster system so we don’t really have traditional family gifts in general or that would carry significant weight.

I would love any recommendations on unique or creative ideas to make sure she has these on her day.

I’ve been on the fence of filing for months. I have picked a lawyer, forms filled out. I have been staying with family for a month.

6 months ago he was physically abusive including strangling me. Outside of that he’s never been physically aggressive but it’s made me see a lot with a new perspective. The way he defends things when I’m just looking for accountability, when I try to express how I feel and there’s some type of defense for making me feel that way. He’s so convicted in everything he does, says, opinions, etc. any conversations feel pointless (not to mention the judgement to me and others if it’s not alight to the “right” way in his eyes). Don’t get me wrong, I have not been the perfect partner either.

I’ve gotten to a point where I’m exhausted in trying to explain myself. But then every now and then we have a decent conversation. I find myself romanticizing what could be and I can’t separate a fantasy future and siloed good memories and lose the confidence. Finding myself wondering if I’m doubting divorce because it’s the wrong decision or not what I want or is it because I may not ever have total clarity.

I keep thinking, if there was one big incident that would help me decide. But there was a big incident and I still stayed. What could be big enough where I felt confident in my decision to leave?

What was your moment of clarity? Or if you never had it and left anyway, how are you doing now?